When we fall in love we see the world through a special lens. You call each other and say things like, "I was thinking of you, were you thinking of me?" You laugh a lot and think everything is funny. You nibble on each other's ears. You open car doors for her and she cooks you meals fit for a king. You have so much in common; you know this must be the perfect match. Everything just flows effortlessly.
Then it happens. Suddenly you realize her hair's a wreck. You can't believe she's wearing that shirt, etc., etc., etc. She says you need to get rid of that gut and stop making those messes, and you can't agree on anything.
Why do you think this happens? I have some answers in my Hub but I want to hear from you.
I use to take my ex everywhere I went....then....I kept on taking her so I didn't have to kiss her goodbye!
THAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN I GOT MARRIED, I GUESS I HAPPENS BECAUSE WHEN UR JUST DATING YOU BECOME SOMEONE THAT IS NOT YOU, AND WHEN YOU START LIVING TOGETHER, YOU FEEL THATS ITS SAFE TO SHOW THE REAL YOU.
Its true that we are more attentive to a person when we first meet them because, everything is fresh and new. So its exciting, just like when we get a new car, we can't wait to go driving in it, and we don't let anyone eat in our car, we wax it and keep it shiny. Its all that attention, special care, and focus that changes in relationships. It takes work to keep the element of surprise alive.
Hmmmm Ok I can agree with what everyone said. Any other keen insights?
There is a biological process which takes place in the brain, involving motivation rather than emotion (pleasure/pain rather than love).
It wears off in 6-24 months. Hopefully, genuine love has been established by that time. And hopefully, people remember to keep doing all those things consciously that they were driven to do by that original motivational process, even though they may not get quite the same shot of endorphins when they do.
If I treated my wife the way I treat my car, I'd not only be divorced but I'd be sitting in jail for spousal abuse, LOL!
Hasn't happened to us yet - 12 years living together later this year.
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