My Favourite Fruitcake Recipe

Jump to Last Post 1-15 of 15 discussions (18 posts)
  1. profile image0
    ryankettposted 9 years ago

    Ingredients
    - Take one tatty old book
    - Find a website which list all quotes from that book. Preferably one that somebody has built up over several years, PR5+
    - A mixed audience of 'Believers' and 'Non Believers', preferably one of the internets most multi-cultural forums
    - An antagonistic "your opinion is fine if it matches my opinion attitude".

    Instructions
    - Post something very opinionated on the forum, give the impression that you are inviting an intelligient and diplomatic debate, which emcompasses those from all cultures and belief systems.
    - Praise the responses of everybody that agrees with your opinion.
    - If anybody disagrees with any of your points then proceed to copy and paste random quotes from your chosen front page, page rank 6, website(s). Completely disregard the normal hubpages protocol for plagiarism. Undermine the business of those innocent website owners to ahem, *cough* 'prove' your points.
    - Do this continuosly, in fact start about 4 very opinionated threads a day. Continue to blow the minds of every 'non-believer' until they get understandably angry and frustrated.
    - Eventually several of those non believers will be so dismayed at the decline in quality of a community that they so enjoyed that they will express this anger in a manner which is deemed 'unacceptable'.
    - Make sure that you can be as antagonistic as possible without ever using a swear word. Never allow any room for compromise, logic, or reason. Never ever respect another belief.

    Finished Product
    - Your objective, in the name of your god, is to erradicate the evils that lurk in the deepest darkest crevices of the internet. Remember that you only need to get people reported for personal attacks twice before your objective is achieved.
    - Continue this until those in authority catch on, and then just start another login. Remember that you are not here to write hubs or make money, this is just a cover.
    - You will be rewarded with your place in heaven.

    Oh, and you didn't really need the tatty old book.... in fact, you don't even need to have read it. And you don't need to fully understand it. Understanding the book would make you a logical and reasonable person, whether a believer or non-believer, and this would not constitute being a 'fruitcake'.


    Disclaimer
    This is all very hypothetical of course, and is just a guide for those of us that may wish to evolve into a fruitcake. This thread is errr... not aimed at a specific individual, and anybody suggestion that it does is working dangerously with presumption (and may go to hell). Therefore, this cannot be deemed a 'personal attack'. Please also note that no foul language has been used in this thread.


    Thank you hubpages for letting me miss out on thanking my fans when reaching the big 200. And thank you hubpages for messing up my 30 hubs in 30 days, to avoid missing out on thanking people for my 100th hub. Drive = Zero, Desire = Zero.

  2. Pearldiver profile image81
    Pearldiverposted 9 years ago

    You Left out the Moose Essence in your recipe and everyone has been butt kicking during your holiday lol

    1. Eaglekiwi profile image78
      Eaglekiwiposted 9 years agoin reply to this

      Awwww can I rub ya tummy sooooo bloody cute smile

      1. Pearldiver profile image81
        Pearldiverposted 9 years agoin reply to this

        Where I come from they have a name for that sort of stuff lol

        1. Eaglekiwi profile image78
          Eaglekiwiposted 9 years agoin reply to this

          Since I come from the same place , Im seriously worried now lol

  3. lrohner profile image81
    lrohnerposted 9 years ago

    RYAN! YOU'RE BACK!!! Yippeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

  4. emievil profile image76
    emievilposted 9 years ago

    Welcome back Ryan. Hope you can read the moose thread started by PD smile. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying we miss you in the forums.

  5. Eaglekiwi profile image78
    Eaglekiwiposted 9 years ago

    Welcome back Ryan ,sorry ya missed out on some achievements ,they were not missed. smile

  6. Sufidreamer profile image82
    Sufidreamerposted 9 years ago

    Welcome back Ryan

    You were missed...

    I noticed that Simon Whaley has gone out on loan to Rochdale - we saw you coming with that one. I believe that he was a free transfer - you still paid too much lol

    Chris Brown - Two goals and a MOTM yesterday. Bet you wish you still had him at Norwich. Cheers big_smile

  7. frogdropping profile image84
    frogdroppingposted 9 years ago

    Welcome back Ryan. On fire huh yikes

  8. Uninvited Writer profile image81
    Uninvited Writerposted 9 years ago

    I'm glad you came back, we did miss you a lot...

  9. charanjeet kaur profile image61
    charanjeet kaurposted 9 years ago

    Yippeeeeeee look who is back.. Glad you are back. Happy hubbing

  10. profile image0
    cosetteposted 9 years ago

    omg..."moose essence" big_smile

    nice to see you back smile

  11. Misha profile image69
    Mishaposted 9 years ago

    He-he. Welcome back, pot stirrer smile

  12. profile image43
    BadCoposted 9 years ago

    Good to see you back Ryan, I should have took the advice I gave you as Cabin Girl is on a 3 day ban lol !

  13. profile image0
    ryankettposted 9 years ago

    Good to be back people wink not back properly until tomorrow, but thank you all for your nice messages whilst I was gone smile

  14. profile image0
    cosetteposted 9 years ago

    i think the whole problem with fruitcake (why people don't like it, i mean) is that is is made with candied fruits and then they add nuts. i like a cake to be soft and don't want to bite into any nuts because it detracts from the nice smooth texture of the cake itself. i think i will try to make a fruitcake this holiday season but use some fresh fruit like apples and add dried fruits like pineapple and cranberries and put an orange glaze on it.

    smile

  15. profile image0
    \Brenda Scullyposted 9 years ago

    drinking coffee and eating fruitcake... Ryan you are one fruitcake man..... congrats on 200 fans..... you will end up with millions....

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)