- Take one tatty old book
- Find a website which list all quotes from that book. Preferably one that somebody has built up over several years, PR5+
- A mixed audience of 'Believers' and 'Non Believers', preferably one of the internets most multi-cultural forums
- An antagonistic "your opinion is fine if it matches my opinion attitude".
- Post something very opinionated on the forum, give the impression that you are inviting an intelligient and diplomatic debate, which emcompasses those from all cultures and belief systems.
- Praise the responses of everybody that agrees with your opinion.
- If anybody disagrees with any of your points then proceed to copy and paste random quotes from your chosen front page, page rank 6, website(s). Completely disregard the normal hubpages protocol for plagiarism. Undermine the business of those innocent website owners to ahem, *cough* 'prove' your points.
- Do this continuosly, in fact start about 4 very opinionated threads a day. Continue to blow the minds of every 'non-believer' until they get understandably angry and frustrated.
- Eventually several of those non believers will be so dismayed at the decline in quality of a community that they so enjoyed that they will express this anger in a manner which is deemed 'unacceptable'.
- Make sure that you can be as antagonistic as possible without ever using a swear word. Never allow any room for compromise, logic, or reason. Never ever respect another belief.
- Your objective, in the name of your god, is to erradicate the evils that lurk in the deepest darkest crevices of the internet. Remember that you only need to get people reported for personal attacks twice before your objective is achieved.
- Continue this until those in authority catch on, and then just start another login. Remember that you are not here to write hubs or make money, this is just a cover.
- You will be rewarded with your place in heaven.
Oh, and you didn't really need the tatty old book.... in fact, you don't even need to have read it. And you don't need to fully understand it. Understanding the book would make you a logical and reasonable person, whether a believer or non-believer, and this would not constitute being a 'fruitcake'.
This is all very hypothetical of course, and is just a guide for those of us that may wish to evolve into a fruitcake. This thread is errr... not aimed at a specific individual, and anybody suggestion that it does is working dangerously with presumption (and may go to hell). Therefore, this cannot be deemed a 'personal attack'. Please also note that no foul language has been used in this thread.
Thank you hubpages for letting me miss out on thanking my fans when reaching the big 200. And thank you hubpages for messing up my 30 hubs in 30 days, to avoid missing out on thanking people for my 100th hub. Drive = Zero, Desire = Zero.
You Left out the Moose Essence in your recipe and everyone has been butt kicking during your holiday
Awwww can I rub ya tummy sooooo bloody cute
Welcome back Ryan. Hope you can read the moose thread started by PD . I'm sure I'm not alone in saying we miss you in the forums.
Welcome back Ryan ,sorry ya missed out on some achievements ,they were not missed.
Welcome back Ryan
You were missed...
I noticed that Simon Whaley has gone out on loan to Rochdale - we saw you coming with that one. I believe that he was a free transfer - you still paid too much
Chris Brown - Two goals and a MOTM yesterday. Bet you wish you still had him at Norwich. Cheers
Yippeeeeeee look who is back.. Glad you are back. Happy hubbing
Good to see you back Ryan, I should have took the advice I gave you as Cabin Girl is on a 3 day ban lol !
Good to be back people not back properly until tomorrow, but thank you all for your nice messages whilst I was gone
i think the whole problem with fruitcake (why people don't like it, i mean) is that is is made with candied fruits and then they add nuts. i like a cake to be soft and don't want to bite into any nuts because it detracts from the nice smooth texture of the cake itself. i think i will try to make a fruitcake this holiday season but use some fresh fruit like apples and add dried fruits like pineapple and cranberries and put an orange glaze on it.
drinking coffee and eating fruitcake... Ryan you are one fruitcake man..... congrats on 200 fans..... you will end up with millions....
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Which one do you like most?
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Preferably something free!
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