Funniest Joke-2 lines only

Jump to Last Post 1-50 of 65 discussions (73 posts)
  1. profile image0
    lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

    can you do it? Make us laugh in 2 lines?

    hmmmm


    no mamma fat jokes allowed - too easy

    all skinny ones permitted

    lol ha just made one, cracking myself up

  2. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    One muffin in the oven says to another, "God it's hot in here!"
    The other says, "Oh no! It's a talking muffin!!!"

  3. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Where do you find a one-legged dog?
    Where you left it.

  4. mistywild profile image61
    mistywildposted 14 years ago

    a fish swan into a wall......
    dammmmmmmmmmmm.

  5. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    One does a one-legged girl standing next to a bldg call herself?
    Eileen

    1. Ron Montgomery profile image60
      Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Where does she work?
      IHOP

  6. Dr23 profile image59
    Dr23posted 14 years ago

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef.

    1. profile image0
      lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      lol

    2. Himitsu Shugisha profile image72
      Himitsu Shugishaposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This is awesome!!

  7. Ron Montgomery profile image60
    Ron Montgomeryposted 14 years ago

    What do you call a swimmer with no arms or legs?
    Bob

  8. MagickJack59 profile image59
    MagickJack59posted 14 years ago

    Confuscious say man who has hole in pocket feel cocky all day!

  9. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Husband: "Whatever I say, goes!"
    Wife: "Have fun talking to yourself!"

  10. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Wife: "Why are you home so early?"
    Husband: "My boss told me to go to hell!"

  11. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    "What did you do before you got married?"
    "Whatever I wanted."

  12. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Democracy: Where your vote counts.
    Feudalism: Where your Count votes.

    COME ON!!! Where is everybody?!

  13. vppromoter profile image37
    vppromoterposted 14 years ago

    A sandwich goes into a bar and asks for a drink.
    The barman says -Go away. We don't serve food.

    1. profile image0
      lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      your killing me lol lol

  14. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Woman: "I can't go out w/ a perfect stranger like you."
    Man: "Who said I was perfect?"

    1. dejajolie profile image60
      dejajolieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      lol

  15. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    A train station is where a train STOPS.
    That's how I get to my work station.

  16. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    A Scotsman won the lottery but was very sad . . .
    mainly because of the dollar he wasted on the second ticket.

  17. Jonathan Janco profile image61
    Jonathan Jancoposted 14 years ago

    Customer: "Do you serve women at this bar?"
    Bartender: "No, sir. You must bring your own."

    1. profile image0
      lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      nice lol

    2. dejajolie profile image60
      dejajolieposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Good One!

  18. hublim profile image67
    hublimposted 14 years ago

    A pair of jump leads walk into a bar.

    The barman says, you two better not start anything.

  19. hublim profile image67
    hublimposted 14 years ago

    Two Parrots are sitting on a Perch.

    One says to the other, do you smell fish?

  20. hublim profile image67
    hublimposted 14 years ago

    2 fish are in a tank.

    One says to the other, how do you drive this thing?

  21. Sauvignon profile image60
    Sauvignonposted 14 years ago

    How do you make a hankie dance?

    Put a lil boogie in it

    -thank you nephew!

  22. profile image0
    poetlorraineposted 14 years ago

    what do you call a chinese lady with a mixer on her head

                  Blenda

  23. profile image0
    poetlorraineposted 14 years ago

    how many irish people does it take to change a light bulb
       
             THE light bulb has got to want to change

  24. Himitsu Shugisha profile image72
    Himitsu Shugishaposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say boy who goes to bed with sex problem on mind, wakes up with solution on hand.

  25. profile image0
    Wag The Dogposted 14 years ago

    It is only 99% of lawyers that make the rest look bad.

    http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_K9fQJyN-dI4/SwsIvVwRfrI/AAAAAAAAA10/cAhZiphZHT0/s1600/lawyer.jpg

    1. Sauvignon profile image60
      Sauvignonposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      LOL lol

  26. profile image0
    Wag The Dogposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say "He who fart in church, sits in own pew."

  27. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    An advert:

    Today Hannibal Lecter will read a lecture on delicious and nutritious food.

  28. ediggity profile image60
    ediggityposted 14 years ago

    What do you call cheese that's not yours?

    Nach yo cheese.

  29. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Never be afraid to do something you know nothing about.
    Remember: Noah's Ark was built by amateurs, and professionals built Titanic.

  30. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Love = unlimited happiness for a limited time.

  31. ediggity profile image60
    ediggityposted 14 years ago

    What's the worst thing to tell an inmate when they ask you to do something?


    Feel free.

  32. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Advert in hospital, maternity ward:

    Deliver two - get the third for free!

  33. sooner than later profile image61
    sooner than laterposted 14 years ago

    what do you call a fish without an eye(i).
    FSHHHHHH

  34. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    When suddenly, in the middle of the night a fat man sneaks into your room and starts stuffing you into his bag, don't worry.
    That only means that someone has requested a present for Christmas - you.

  35. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    A sticker on the back of the car:

    Don't follow me, I'm lost!

  36. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Half of the politicians do not know how to do anything.
    The rest of them do anything.

  37. SoftCornHippo profile image61
    SoftCornHippoposted 14 years ago

    Bumper-sticker:
    Hey! What if the hoochie-coochie IS what its all about?!

  38. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    A worm looking at a plate full of spaghetti:
    - Wow! That's what I call proper group sex..

  39. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    "Here's my apartment" - thought the rabbit.
    "Here's my dinner" - thought the python.

  40. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    - Miss, bananas can also be eaten...

  41. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Why there is no cat food with mouse flavour?

  42. Jackson Riddle profile image48
    Jackson Riddleposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say that man who walks through airport door sideways is going to bangcock

  43. Jackson Riddle profile image48
    Jackson Riddleposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say that man who walks behind bus will get exhausted

  44. Jackson Riddle profile image48
    Jackson Riddleposted 14 years ago

    Confucius say that man who walks in front of bus gets tired

  45. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    Dogs are unlucky:
    all of them are either bitches, or their sons...

  46. Jackson Riddle profile image48
    Jackson Riddleposted 14 years ago

    they obviously named oranges before they named carrots

  47. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    When God created a man, he did not get a patent for his invention, so now every idiot can do the same.

  48. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    If you have too much money, that only means you lack immagination.

  49. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    People spend less time in prison than you spend online big_smile

  50. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 14 years ago

    I wonder where mazochists go after death - to heaven or hell?

 
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