Q: If a blonde and a brunette fall off a building at the exact same time, which one lands first?
A: The brunette; the blonde had to stop to ask for directions.
Q: How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
A: She opens the car door.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde woman?
A: Take her to a round room and tell her to stand in the corner.
Q: How does the blonde confuse you?
A: She asks you which corner.
A blonde, a brunette and a readhead were competing at a swim meet.
The event was the breast stroke.
The brunette won easily.
The redhead came in a close second.
The blonde lost by several body lengths.
When she finally finished, the blonde complained, "No fair. They cheated! They used their arms!"
That's a beauty MM... I had my money on the Read head.
"They used their arms"!!!!! Now that is totally funny!! LOL!
Actually, the redhead wins the next event.
In that one the blonde loses because she can only find 3 butterflies -- not enough to pull her across the pool
A blonde police officer pulls over a car that is incidentally being driven by a blonde.
"Your license please".
"Umm, officer, what does it look like?"
"Ok, it is small, rectangular and has your picture on it. You will find it in your handbag."
"OK, let me check."
After a few moments, the blonde driver pulls out a small mirror, looks at it, of course sees her image and hands it over to the officer.
The office glances at it, and returns it immediately.
"Hey, why didn't you tell me you were a police officer, too!"
Q: What do you call a blonde in a library?
A: A girl who likes to read.
Am I doing it right?
A blonde driving home on a busy motorway, we shall call it the M1
Husband phones her, and says
" Careful on the M1 honey some idiot is driving along it the wrong way"
"not one idiot darling," the blonde replied, they all are.
Blondes and red heads have the same amount of fun......
Red Heads remember it.....
Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: Are you sure it's mine?
During her company's periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password:
When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, "The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital."
A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar and find their way to a bar stool. After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender,
"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke ?"
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet. In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, you should know something.The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb.blonde with a black belt in karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde, and she's a wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 5 times."
How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde.
The blonde has to want to changs.....
How can ya tell a blonde's been using the computer?
There'll be White-Out all over the screen.
Why did the blonde nurse take a red magic marker to work?
In case she had to draw some blood.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
blond following a dumptruck through a snow storm,.. repeatedly she gets out of her car runs up the window and says "hi, my name is tabitha, and your loosing your load, its leaking out the back of your truck",... at every stop light she does this and at every stoplight the dumptruck driver shakes his head and drives on.
when the trucker can stand it no longer he speeds to the next light, jumps out of his truck and runs back to the blonds car, tapping on the window,..
she rolls down the window and he says to her,... "hi, my name is kevin, its winter time, and i drive a damn salt truck"
A blonde woman, driving a sports car cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
Or the funniest blonde commercial?
That's not true,guys, it is all mere insinuations, I do not do all of these things really, just some of them, sometimes. You just forgot to mention that moment when I was trying to open somebody else's car trunk to put my groceries in. How did I know it was not mine? It was the same shape and the same nice red colour! The keys were different though for some stupid reason. The owner of this car came to me from behind when I was busy trying to open it with my keys and told me quietly,"By the way, this car is mine."
by mayhmong 8 years ago
Tell me a blonde joke
by Daffy Duck 2 years ago
There are millions of jokes out there. Everyone says they have a great one. What's the funniest one?
by Holle Abee 7 days ago
A non-PC thread about dumb blondes!A truck driver breaks down just outside San Diego. He flags down a blonde who was driving by.Blonde: Do you need a lift?Man: No, I have to stay here with the truck because the office is sending someone to repair it. Look, I have two chimps that I was talking to...
by mastergreen 3 years ago
What's the funniest joke you know or ever heard?We all need a little laughter in our lives. So tell a joke, the funniest you have ever heard or known. Spread the laughter wherever you go. Good luck.
by lyricsingray 9 years ago
can you do it? Make us laugh in 2 lines?hmmmmno mamma fat jokes allowed - too easyall skinny ones permitted ha just made one, cracking myself up
by Liz Elias 6 days ago
A woman became concerned because her 10 year old son was so different from everyone else in the family and wondered if there had been a mixup at the hospital so many years before. So she ordered a DNA test and sure enough, this was not their child.Frantic, she went to her her husband and told him...
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