I Could Use Some Advice on How to Improve a Few Articles

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   EricFarmer8xposted 6 years ago

   My goal is to get most of my writing on LevelSkip. I have some Hubs on LevelSkip right now, and I plan on writing more hubs that hopefully get moved to LevelSkip. Most of my recent work is not quite good enough for the editors. I need to proofread my spelling and grammar.
   
   I am hoping people could look at two of my Hubs and give some feedback and advice. Both of these Hubs are reviews of video games I liked and played. I give feedback on what I think about the games.
   
   Review of Assault Android Cactus
   https://hubpages.com/games-hobbies/Assa … tus-Review
   
   Review of Downwell
   https://hubpages.com/games-hobbies/Review-of-Downwell
   
   Thank you for reading and thank you if you provide feedback.

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2. 93

   Jeremy Gillposted 6 years ago

   Hi, Eric. Your writing style uses several short, simple sentences. Like this. Sometimes sounds off. Try combining related ones with conjunctions or semicolons. Be consistent with capitalization of key words in capsule headings, and be sure to caption photos.
   
   Also, I noticed a lot of the passive voice; spruce things up with the active when possible. As an example, "The game suffers from poor graphics" is more interesting than "The game has poor graphics."
   
   I myself have a few LevelSkip articles; feel free to use Control+F on my profile and type in "Tower Defense King" to find one if you need inspiration. Good luck!

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   1. 93

      EricFarmer8xposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I do tend to just narutaly write in a short and fragmented way out of habit. It is something I know I need to work on.
      
      I will work on trying to use less passive voice as well. This is something I read about and I heard it helps to use much less of it.
      
      I have looked at some your articles before and I remember the post when you reached 1 million views. Interesting that the use of lists has worked well for you. I was sort afraid to try this format as I didn't think I would have much to say or I would be able to do it well.
      
      Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

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3. 95

   Gregory DeVictorposted 6 years ago

   I agree with the precious comment that you have too many short, choppy sentences.

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   1. 93

      Jeremy Gillposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I know you meant "previous" but I appreciate the compliment anyway!

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      1. 93

         EricFarmer8xposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         I took your advice, and I got some good results from it. My Downwell Hub was moved to LevelSkip today. I changed the name and focus of the Hub, so I reuploaded it as new Hub.
         
         When I submitted my Assault Android Cactus Hub, the editors said the Hub needs editing first before being moved. I suppose this is not too bad of a result since the editors liked the hub enough to move the Hub in the future.
         
         I just wanted to say thanks for the help again.

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