I'd like feedback on my article: Child Neglect And Abuse - The Shame and The...

1. 85

   vocalcoachposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Child Neglect And Abuse - The Shame and The Guilt. What can I do to improve? Thanks!

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   1. 91

      Venkatachari Mposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      It is a very old article and many good comments also on it. I hope it is not featured after you edited it.
      
      The statistical information provided by you can be the reason for it. You may need to put it in a Table format with suitable columns instead of that bullet list which is very confusing. I couldn't understand it at all.

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      1. 85

         vocalcoachposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you my friend.  I will certainly fix the statiscal information.  I appreciate your feedback.

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2. 80

   Jeremy Gillposted 7 years ago

   Here are some tips:
   
   1) Looks like formatting is the main issue to improve. For instance, work on consistency with capsule title capitalization, and the first paragraph also contains an unnecessary amount of line breaks. But the biggest thing to focus on is the incredible length of the bullet points in "Child Abuse Perpetrator Statistics 2012." There's got to be a more concise way to present that information, perhaps with columns in a table to prevent the reader from having to scroll so far.
   2) I'm not saying I necessarily disagree, but the "spanking your child is abuse" statement might get you in trouble for its controversy. You can include it, but it's a risk.
   3) Proofread. Fix grammar errors like the extra commas in this sentence: "This pure little child grew up to become an angry, verbally abusive, confused, woman, who lived with jealousy in her heart."
   
   Good luck.

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3. 72

   gerimcclymposted 7 years ago

   Thanks for writing on such a critical topic and for sharing your personal story through poetry. (Also loved the song video by Derek Clark.)
   
   I noticed that the content of your article does not quite reflect your title, as least not directly. I suggest either changing the title of your article to reflect your content or changing the content to reflect your title. I suggest the latter, since you could potentially convert many of your subheadings into titles for future articles.
   
   I know that when I write about a topic I am very passionate about, it is easy to include a lot of related information that may not be directly related to the title I chose for my article. So then I evaluate whether I have enough to say about the title I chose, or whether I want to change my title to reflect my content.
   
   Also, I suggest including text under each of your subheadings, in addition to anything else (video, etc.) you may choose to add.
   
   Thanks again for bringing attention to such an important issue.

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4. 85

   vocalcoachposted 7 years ago

   You've made a good point!  I'll start working on the content, editing, etc. to reflect my title.  Your suggestion to include text under the subheadings is excellent.  Thank you so much for taking time out to read my hub and gift me with these suggestions.  Truly, a gift!

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