I'd like feedback on my article: The Periodic Table - by Primo Levi: an...

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   Gloriousconfusionposted 7 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article The Periodic Table - by Primo Levi: an Inspirational Book. What can I do to improve - I've been working on it updating it and thought I had done everything necessary? Thanks!

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      Natalie Frankposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      I would suggest editing your subheadings.  They need to be much shorter.  Just a phrase to introduce the section is all that's needed not an entire sentence.  For example, "As an Italian Jew Working Throughout the War, Mainly in Italy, Primo Levy's Life was Very Difficult" could become "Difficult Life Circumstances."  Don't repeat "The Periodic Table by Primo Levi" as part of each and every subheading.  The reader knows they are reading a review of this book.
      
      The number of times you include "the periodic table" as part of the title, headings, subheading and in text is excessive.  It will look like keyword stuffing to Google. 
      
      There is very little original text.  Most of the article is made up of quotes from Wikipedia (unnecessary as you don't need a long definition of the periodic table for the purposes of the review), a lengthy quote from the book followed immediately by another quote in a callout capsule, links to web site comments about the author which is irrelevant for the purpose of a book review. Then there are numerous links to other people talking about the book and the author. You include a poll for other to rate what they think of the book though readers probably haven't read the book which is why they would want to read a review.  When reading your content I only learn that the author was in a concentration camp, and that he had been a Chemical Scientist, and Philosopher.  All in all, I learn nothing at all about the content of the book itself, nor exactly how it is tied to the Periodic Table except each chapter is associated with a different element.  I would recommend taking out all the extra material.  If you quote from the book only do so as an example of something you say in your review.
      
      The short description of the book is not needed as the entire article is about the book and your reflections about it.  If you keep it, rewrite it as it is one very long run on sentence saying what you have already said elsewhere and one sentence saying you gave the book to your grandsons which doesn't add anything unless you add their reaction to it.  Take out the Amazon capsule and use a link instead.
      
      The poster of the periodic table is not necessary as it's not relevant to a review of the book.
      
      The sentence that starts, "In this autobiographical book, each chapter is a reflection . . ." is included twice. Remove the second one.
      
      Good luck.

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         Gloriousconfusionposted 7 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks so much, Natalie, for the time you have spent giving me advice.  I have removed capsules, revised wording and headings, and generally taken on board what you have said.  I hope the improvements will now see it featured.

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            Natalie Frankposted 7 years agoin reply to this

            Glad I could help.  Hopefully it will now be able to be featured and find it's way to a niche site.  I look forward to reading more of your articles.  Good luck!

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