Need help to improve help.

1. 66

   Kristen Howeposted 6 years ago

   Last weekend I sent in my Benefits of a Gym Membership hub to Calorie Bee. And today it was declined for the same old reasons in the rejection email. Any ideas on how to improve it would be great, since I've thought it would be a good fit for other readers to read it on the niche. Here's the link: https://hubpages.com/health/The-Benefit … Membership

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   1. 72

      Eurofileposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I am not very experienced myself yet, but one great tip I was given early on by a fellow hubber was to download the free version of grammarly.  It has helped me out a lot with editing my hubs.

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2. 66

   Kristen Howeposted 6 years ago

   I meant hub and not the second help.

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3. 73

   prokidwriterposted 6 years ago

   Hi Kristen,
     I enjoy reading your articles, and took a look at your "Benefits of a Gym Membership" hub. I think some strong editing could help improve the article, both for clarity and for SEO reasons..
      In the very first section, you have some repetition of words that won't help your SEO "score" and may actually drag you down - "health club, YMCA, gym or natatorium, or fitness center," is repeated in the first section. You generally don't want to repeat the same word or phrase, or even variations of the phrase, throughout an article. Even the repetition of the word "fitness" may also be problematic; you may want to look for places you can eliminate the word so that it is not used too many times. In general, if you can eliminate a word and still have the sentence make sense, then the word is not needed.
      Also, in your first sentence, it is not clear what you are referring to in the sentence "Whether it's for weight loss management...there are many health benefits for you and your family." It becomes clearer when you read the second sentence that the "it's" refers to joining a gym, but the clarity comes because the second sentence reiterates the first. It would be better to eliminate one of the sentences, or combine the two so that it is clear, like: "Whether joining a gym is for weight loss management, back pain prevention, or for staying fit with a personal trainer, there are many health benefits to be had for you and your family." Then you would not need the second sentence at all, and you would also likely improve your SEO score.
      I would also suggest that you edit for "lists" throughout your article. Sometimes lists of things looks like "keyword stuffing" instead of a part of a natural, flowing sentence. Some examples of "lists" that I saw include: "...meet new people, make new friends, and discover a fitness buddy or workout partner," "...the elliptical machine, swimming, yoga, Pilates, and walking slow,  "... a brisk walk, tennis, and badminton." "...cycling fast, basketball and jogging." Consider using a table to contain "lists" of things, where feasible. Tables break up articles and can help make lists more readable.
     The "Come As You Are" section might need another writing pass. Many gyms don't allow jeans as appropriate work-out attire, for example. You might discuss seasonal work-out clothing in terms of high-tech wicking fabrics, for example, or some of the newer "warm" leggings. A discussion of appropriate footwear might also fit here.
     I think that your article has a good angle - making working out approachable for the average person, whether it is in a gym or at home. I hope that you are able to revise the article so that it gets accepted to your desired vertical!

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4. 66

   Kristen Howeposted 6 years ago

   Thanks so much for your help. I did run it through Grammarly per section of the article. I'll revise it again later this month and try to resubmit in October thereabouts.

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5. 79

   Natalie Frankposted 6 years ago

   Hi Kristen - The main thing I noticed about your article is that it is on several different topics.  The title is The Benefits of a Gym Membership but that's not all that's covered. Also you include things that would be specific to certain gyms but present them as if all gyms have them.
   
   The first section is about how to choose the right gym for you, so right off the bat you have a section that doesn't fit the title.
   The second section is on how to get the best deal.
   The third section is about it being safe and family friendly which are reasons to work out at a gym although they are two different topics and might be better separated.  At least you should put them in different paragraphs and not run them together.  Some of the things here would be specific to certain gyms as not all have this type of programming, not all are family friendly - in fact there are adult only gyms that won't allow children or will only allow them during certain times and I don't think most - at least the ones I've seen - have special programming for older adults.
   The forth section is on getting free trials and the different membership option which again isn't the topic of the title and specific to gym.
   The fifth section is on how to plan your schedule to use a gym again this would be off topic and depend on what the gym offers as well as more generally your own schedule.
   The sixth section is on the number of classes available which is a benefit but then you say there are premium classes that you pay extra for so that wouldn't be part of the membership.  Plus not all have multiple classes and some have no classes.
   After that you have something about why swimming is good for your back which is completely off topic.  Take this out.
   The seventh section is on year long open swim which would only exist for gyms with pools, and then those that include a year long open swim option.
   The eight section talks about fitness buddies which is a benefit - meeting new people.  But then you go into various sites where you can meet fitness buddies online which would have nothing to do with the benefits of joining a gym or be actually related to the gym at all but more a motivational type of strategy to encourage you to go to the gym one you join.
   Walk, run or job at the gym  - this is specific to gym and many don't have a track - plus this doesn't really fit and doesn't say anything so take out.
   The ninth section is about the different levels of aerobic exercise and how to choose beginning classes both of which are completely off topic. 
   Shoot hoops with your friends - gym specific - most don't have basketball courts that I've seen, avoid a second level subheading with just a picture to follow.
   There's something for everyone - redundant - you already covered this
   Come as you are - Not sure this is a benefit exactly, and doesn't really add much
   Then you say if it's too much money create a home gym and look in other places like t.v. etc. which actually goes against the topic of the title.
   
   Basically, you need to decide what you want the article to be about, select an appropriate title that encompasses all the content, get rid of the material that doesn't fit at all with the rest of it and then organize it and structure it in a logical order. 
   
   Hope this helps and isn't too overwhelming.  Good luck.
   
   (Also - You don't need the first subheading since it doesn't cover anything.)

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6. 66

   Kristen Howeposted 6 years ago

   I have used Grammarly for it, Eurofile, before I sent it to the niche site last weekend. But sometimes it's not accurate and has missed things.

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7. 66

   Kristen Howeposted 6 years ago

   Thanks Natalie. I guess it needs to be more focused on the topic and change the title to overhaul it.

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