A woman became concerned because her 10 year old son was so different from everyone else in the family and wondered if there had been a mixup at the hospital so many years before. So she ordered a DNA test and sure enough, this was not their child.
Frantic, she went to her her husband and told him what she had learned.
He looked at her puzzled, and said, "I guess you don't remember, but when we were leaving the hospital, the baby pooped his diaper and you gave him to me and said to take him back in and change him."
"Yes?" She said.
Annoyed, he looked at her and replied, "So I did what you said. I found a clean one and left the kid with the poopy diaper there."
An old cowboy walked into a barbershop and asked for a shave. He explained that he was havi g a hard time shaving himself because of all the wrinkles.
The Barber handed him a small ball to tuck in his cheek in order to help smooth out the skin. He was able to move it around with his tongue as needed.
When the Barber was done, he spit out the ball and rubbed his hands over his face, marveling at how smooth it was.
"That is the best shave I have had in years" , he told the Barber. "But what if I had swallowed the ball"?
The Barber shrugged and replied "Just bring it back in a few days like everyone else did".
Here's a blond male joke I heard:
A blonde, an Irishman, and a Mexican were all construction workers on a high rise building.
At lunchtime, the Irishman opened his lunchbox and exlaimed, "Corned beef again? Every day, it's corned beef! If I get corned beef again tomorrow, I'm jumping off this building!"
Then the Mexican fellow opened his luch, and bemoaned, "Burrito again? Every day, it's a burrito! If I get another burrito, I'm jumping off with you!"
The blond guy opens his lunch, and says, "Baloney and cheese? I'm sick of baloney and cheese! If I get it again tomorrow, I'm jumping too!"
The following day, the Irishman found corned beef, and he jumped off the building. Then the Mexican had another burrito, and he jumped. The blonde had baloney and cheese, and off he went as well.
The wives had a joint funeral, and the Irishwoman wailed, "Oh, if I only knew he hated corned beef so much, I could have made him other things!"
The Mexican's wife agreed, and said, "I could have sent a tamale, or a taco, if only I knew he was tired of burritos!"
They both looked to the blonde's wife, and she shrugged, and said, "Don't look at me: he made his own lunches!"
It isnt my fault---I am blonde, polish, dexlexic, nearsighted, and female.
I promise I won't blame you. BTW, I'm not a blond. My dark hair turned gray and then white at an early age. I think I have a blond color on it in the photo. My mother was a natural blond and she could, at times, be a little ditsy, but I don't think it had anything to do with her hair.
Liz, here's another blond joke:
A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging
by his feet.
"Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blonde replies.
"The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.
"I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
by Crazdwriter 9 years ago
The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait! An Irishman , a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were on scaffolding doing construction work on the 20th floor of a building.They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one...
by Holle Abee 5 weeks ago
A non-PC thread about dumb blondes!A truck driver breaks down just outside San Diego. He flags down a blonde who was driving by.Blonde: Do you need a lift?Man: No, I have to stay here with the truck because the office is sending someone to repair it. Look, I have two chimps that I was talking to...
by Jim Hunter 8 years ago
I do Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on thesidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirrorand says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.'The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!'So, the first blonde hands her the compact.The second blonde looks...
by Jake Frost 6 years ago
Is blonde spelt with the 'e'?Sorry, it's a silly question and you may even call me blonde... But I see it different everywhere, some people spell it blond
by nicomp really 7 months ago
A traveling salesman, a clown, a horse, and a midget walk into a bar...The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"
by Martin Heeremans 4 years ago
I know everyone has that one hilarious joke they use which will always get a good laugh out of everyone in the local vicinity.I'll start.A new Commander is sent to take over a command of a post in a remote location.On his entrance he spots a donkey tied to a rope behind the barracks. Unsure as to...
Copyright © 2019 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|