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  1. saraz profile image77
    sarazposted 6 weeks ago

    http://hub.me/amGwz
    I want feedback on my article to pass it through QA criteria.
    Thanks.

    1. theraggededge profile image96
      theraggededgeposted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

      Hi there,

      The problem with this is that it is not written for a global audience. I don't live in a muslim state.

      HubPages has a worldwide reader base, so it is better to write with all nationalities and faiths in mind.

      There are also some grammatical issues that need working on. For example, "My deepest wish is to see every human being on earth a happiest person. We just need to take a start."

      Should be: My deepest wish is to see every human being on Earth as a happy person. We just need to make a start."

      Some work to do, but I'm sure you can get it sorted smile

    2. CYong74 profile image96
      CYong74posted 6 weeks agoin reply to this

      Forgiving me for using the Singaporean colloquial term, all over the place, to describe your content flow.

      - You begin with what is seemingly, regret over Pakistan's ranking in the index. Because of this, most readers will assume the rest of the article is about Pakistan.
      - You move on to introducing the index. (Which is the correct thing to do, IMO)
      - Quite abruptly, there is a significant chunk of neuroscientific information on happiness.
      - Following which you revert to being a list of "how to be happy" tips.

      Simply put, It's confusing. You are leading the reader everywhere. I would suggest you revise the article to be one of the following:
      1) A discussion on Pakistan's (poor) ranking on the index, and the reasons why
      2) A discussion of the index itself? And the reasons for some countries faring badly?
      3) A straight forward list of happiness hacks (This isn't going to do well though; there are thousands of such lists online)

  2. Titia profile image95
    Titiaposted 6 weeks ago

    Besides the advice the others gave you, get rid of the latest comment on your hub, because it's spam.

  3. Kenna McHugh profile image89
    Kenna McHughposted 6 weeks ago

    You last line: My deepest wish is to see every human being on earth a happiest person. The article "a" needs to be "the" - "the happiest."  With that, you have some grammar issues, so the article needs a good edit. Also, the studies without links at the end of the article. The QA will not see it as original work.

    Add your personal journey to happiness. The other references are not valid.

 
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