I'd like feedback on my article: Happiness Vs Schizophrenia

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  1. rathna jeevitha profile image60
    rathna jeevithaposted 20 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Happiness Vs Schizophrenia (must be signed in to view)

    1. Will Apse profile image92
      Will Apseposted 20 months agoin reply to this

      It is best to avoid health issues unless you have specific qualifications or direct experience that is highly relevant.

      You have a chemistry degree which suggests that you are not able to offer a professional opinion on the subject.

      On the other hand, if you have direct experience of someone struggling with schizophrenia, and wanted to share insights, strategies for coping etc, etc that could make a worthwhile page.

      1. rathna jeevitha profile image60
        rathna jeevithaposted 20 months agoin reply to this

        My dad has schizophrenia. That is why I wrote this article. Yes I have a chemistry degree, But the advice was given by the psychiatrist.

        1. Will Apse profile image92
          Will Apseposted 20 months agoin reply to this

          The only way get a good sized audience for a page is to have it moved to one of the niche sites.

          There are a number of  health niche sites. One has pages written by professionals offering overviews or advice on particular maladies. Another has pages written by people offering their personal experience of illnesses.

          It might be worth looking at a few articles on each to see how they approach their subjects.

          https://healthproadvice.com/

          https://patientslounge.com/

          Best of luck with your page.

          1. rathna jeevitha profile image60
            rathna jeevithaposted 20 months agoin reply to this

            Thank you so much for your advice, it was really helpfull

  2. Rupert Taylor profile image96
    Rupert Taylorposted 20 months ago

    There are several grammar and capitalization issues

    A families role should be A Family's Role

    Thinks people can do to make their thoughts positive should be Things People Can Do to Make their Thoughts Positive.

    The white space needs to be shrunk.

    Copyright-free images are a boon to presentation.

    1. rathna jeevitha profile image60
      rathna jeevithaposted 20 months agoin reply to this

      Sorry for the grammar issues I will correct them. I was more concentrated on the content than the title.

  3. theraggededge profile image99
    theraggededgeposted 20 months ago

    The title is a bit strange. Happiness versus Schizophrenia. Sounds like a competition. You need to clarify what you mean by that title in the introduction. Or... change the title to reflect the actual content.

    1. rathna jeevitha profile image60
      rathna jeevithaposted 20 months agoin reply to this

      It is a competition between Happiness and schizophrenia. I am just trying to say that we can defeat schizophrenia with happiness and comfort.

      1. theraggededge profile image99
        theraggededgeposted 20 months agoin reply to this

        Then you need to make more of that. Explain what it means in your introduction. You don't mention happiness until the very last sentence.

        1. rathna jeevitha profile image60
          rathna jeevithaposted 20 months agoin reply to this

          Okay, I will reframe the summary. Thanks for your advice

        2. profile image0
          RTalloniposted 20 months agoin reply to this

          The title also sounds like one is a choice against the other.

  4. psycheskinner profile image83
    psycheskinnerposted 20 months ago

    You might want to consider reframing this to reflect your direct experience -- like "How to support a Parent with Schizophrenia".  There are plenty of pages directly from the point of view of mental health professionals that will beat a indirect report.

  5. Alvina Martino profile image56
    Alvina Martinoposted 20 months ago

    I agree with @Willapse you should move to the health niche site

 
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