I'd like feedback on my article: Home Remedies for Excessive Thirst and Dry...

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   BALAGURU arumugamposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I tried once again with improved content and eliminated the errors, but still, I could not make up with the Featured articles QAP.
   
   Can anyone help me with improving and suggest to me the lacking skills?
   I have a query, whether I can write a new article or I have to pass the QAP to qualify writing?
   Here is my article: Home Remedies for Excessive Thirst and Dry Mouth (must be signed in to view)

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      AliciaCposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi. I noticed two main problems with the article. One was the English errors. The second was the lack of references for some of your health claims. You've made some specific recommendations for treating dry mouth. When I went through your references, I couldn't see any information supporting the recommendations, except for a statement in one of them saying that some vegetables are a good source of water.
      
      When someone describes the health benefits of substances and give readers instructions for dealing with a health problem, I think it's very important that the information is supported by authoritative references.

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      quotationsposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I didn't read all of your article because there are a lot of problems which make your hub hard to read.
      
      The problems fall into two main categories:
      
      1. organization
      2. English (style, grammar, sentence structure, foreign sounding.)
      
      Let's start with the organization. You should start by setting out the goal of your hub, which is to provide natural remedies for the treatment of dry mouth and excessive thirst, and then provide the information to solve that problem. Despite this being the topic of your article, you ramble quite a bit.
      
      Your English is a major problem. I have no doubt that you are fluent in it, but to be accepted your article must be written in English as spoken and written in the USA, Canada, Britain or Australia/New Zealand.  Despite some regional dialectical differences, these countries have a core of shared vocabulary and modes of expression which make it possible for fluent speakers and readers of English from those countries to easily understand each other, without encountering any unusual or jarring expressions and words.
      
      Not so much for the dialect of English spoken in India, the so called Hinglish. While this dialect is valid and vibrant it has also moved farther away from the core English and therefore is hard to understand for speakers of standard English.
      
      For example, your opening sentence is to me - a speaker of standard English - almost incomprehensible, not only because of grammatical errors but the way thoughts and arguments are expressed.
      
      
      
      When I started my reply I was going to try to untangle what you wrote and put it into standard English but I am sorry that I really can't. There is too much wrong with this paragraph, and the rest of the article.
      
      If you are serious about writing on Hubpages you need to learn to express yourself in standard English using standard grammar and wording. This is not meant to denigrate the dialect of English you are using, just that if you want to write for an audience of standard English speakers, you need to write for that audience.
      
      I don't know if it is possible for you to unlearn some of your "Hinglish" to write in a more American or British way, but one way to start would be to carefully read a lot of articles - not just on hubpages - but on major online sites in order to get a feel for the language. If you are able to learn to write standard English you may be able to get published; otherwise your articles will keep getting rejected.
      
      I realize that this is a difficult proposition and probably not what you want to hear, but the fact is that unless you are able to improve your written English no amount of tinkering or editing this hub will result in it being published.

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   Kenna McHughposted 6 years ago

   You are off to a good start and offer valuable information, but I wonder if you have taken the time to proof your article. There are some glaring mistakes that you need to fix. I recommend you take the time to go through the article and notice your inconsistencies.  For example, you are using the British version on some words, and you need to learn the HP guidelines and fix these.  Another example, your bullet points are inconsistent with the HP guidelines.  As Alicia suggested, you need to add links that back up your scientific information.  You are almost there but, again, study the HP guidelines and make the corrects.

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   BALAGURU arumugamposted 6 years ago

   Dear All
   I respect your views and I will try to improve. I will come back with acceptable simple language which anybody can understand.
   Once again thank you for your valuable time in responding to my query.

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   DrMark1961posted 6 years ago

   You should check your first sentence. Water intoxication is hyponatremia. Polydipsia is excessive thirst.

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