I'd like feedback on my article: Nairobi National Park a Magical Safari...

1. 88

   Dshibuposted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve?
   
   It got depublish. Kindly suggest how to improve it to get featured it again.
   
   Thanks!
   Here is my article: Nairobi National Park a Trademark Safari Destination

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      Eurofileposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I had your article up via the second link once, but could not access it again. From what I saw on my first reading I think you could tighten up the language a little. Try to avoid repetitive sentences. Listen to how the article sounds to you. It might help to have an index near the start so that readers can scroll to areas of interest within the article.

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2. 82

   theraggededgeposted 5 years ago

   We can't see it. You need to click on the link given in your email to generate a post with a valid link.

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3. 88

   Dshibuposted 5 years ago

   Kindly Check This Link.
   
   http://hub.me/amWa6

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4. 94

   AliciaCposted 5 years ago

   I notice that you've removed the Amazon capsules, which is good. It's been a while since I looked at the article, but it seems to me that the English has improved. Unfortunately, the article still contains language errors. For example, one of them is "On exist, one can meet Kenya’s Maasai tribe".  This makes no sense. Have you confused the words "exit" and "exist"?

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5. 84

   Kenna McHughposted 5 years ago

   Both links go nowhere.

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   1. 88

      Dshibuposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Kindly Check Now.

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6. 84

   Kenna McHughposted 5 years ago

   You offer information about the trip and what it is like to be there. The pictures and videos add to the article as well. The first picture needs to be better. I am sure it is the entrance, but the definition is poor.
   The beginning of the article flows well. There are minor grammar errors as the article continues. HP likes the Oxford comma, which means when you write a series of things, you add a comma at the last one, too.  Like this: She saw lions, giraffes, and monkeys.
   Otherwise, I don't see any glaring problems. Your English is rough, but it's not bad.

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   1. 88

      Dshibuposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, @Kenna McHugh. The change of picture works and the hub is published now.

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7. 88

   Dshibuposted 5 years ago

   I am trying to improve it but I think I am biased. so not able to find what's wrong in this and why it fails QAP after getting featured Once.

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8. 84

   Kenna McHughposted 5 years ago

   That is great to hear!! The three giraffes are perfect, so inviting. Congratulations!

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