I'd like feedback on my article: 8 Book Characters That You'll Fall in Love With

1. 69

   Gargi Srivastavaposted 4 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: 8 Book Characters That You'll Fall in Love With

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   1. 95

      theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      You need to write the book title and author correctly, So... "Counting by 7s" by Holly Goldberg Sloan. You can italicize the title to make it stand out. No apostrophe in the 7s.
      
      I would also remove the Amazon capsules and use an in-text link instead, anchored by the title.
      
      Proofread thoroughly; there are several grammatical errors.
      
      Good luck.

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      1. 69

         Gargi Srivastavaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you for the suggestion.

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2. 69

   Gargi Srivastavaposted 4 years ago

   I have made changes to the article as suggested. Still I'm not able to pass the QAP. Please help me.

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3. 69

   Gargi Srivastavaposted 4 years ago

   Please help

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4. 95

   theraggededgeposted 4 years ago

   Change the Author bio to reflect your experience with the content of the article. So something along the lines of, "I'm an avid reader who regularly falls in love with fictional characters." You can make it better than that of course.
   
   Your English skills need a little work to help your writing flow. Take the first paragraph,
   
   "There are some characters which never leave your heart. They have an imprint in your mind, and you keep quoting them or remembering them in various events of your life. These characters hold a special place in your life, and you never forget the feeling when you read about them. Here are some characters that you can find in the world of books which you will surely not get over with soon."
   
   You use a lot of words to describe a simple concept. Here is how I would say it,
   
   "Some fictional characters stay with you long after you've finished reading the book. They have a habit of popping into your mind for no reason at all, and you'll never forget them. Here are eight characters that I fell in love with and I hope you will too."
   
   Be careful about giving important elements of the story away. Try not to mention plot points, instead focus on the character herself.
   
   Avoid using 'sweetest', 'lovable'. They are empty adjectives. You are allowed to quote a sentence or two from the book, so pick out one that gives a little hint about the person. It's the first thing that fiction writers are told: show, don't tell. So let the character himself show your reader who they are. Talk about their resilience and determination but somehow you have to bring the character alive so that your reader wants to rush out to buy the book in order to get to know them better.
   
   You wrote this, "After losing her parents twice by the age of 7..." The Amazon write-up says she lost her adoptive parents in a car accident when she was 12.  Be alert for basic errors like this otherwise you lose all credibility, so make sure you get your facts right.
   
   One thing you can do is read the book description on Amazon. Also read the reviews. You cannot copy any of them, but you can get an idea how to make the book sound more attractive.
   
   By the way, your first choice book is for young teens. You didn't mention that at all.
   
   Don't say "He belongs to [book title]. Vary your introductions to each character by saying things like: Govinda Shauri is Shri Krishna in the form of a man... with all the charisma and bad habits that go with being human. We get to meet him in "Govinda", the first in the series, "The Aryavarta Chronicles" by Krishna Udayasankar.
   
   Make sure each one is different.
   
   So advice: brush up on your English. Try to get your writing to flow (hard in a second language, I'm sure). Ask yourself what is compelling about these characters and then get that across to your reader. Read over your work and try to assess if you would buy the book based on the description you have offered.
   
   Good luck.

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   1. 69

      Gargi Srivastavaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you.

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5. 49

   Alvina Martinoposted 4 years ago

   great help by a great person @theraggededge

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   1. 69

      Gargi Srivastavaposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      yeah really.

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