I'd like feedback on my article: 8 Amazing Reasons to Visit Sydney

1. 67

   hopeman1posted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: 8 Amazing Reasons to Visit Sydney

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2. 83

   Rupert Taylorposted 6 years ago

   There is some awkward phrasing in your article as well as grammar and punctuation problems.
   
   Some examples for improvements in brackets:
   
   "You will be overwhelmed with its exquisite dining spaces , (no space before a comma) recreational facilities and sporting events all around the year (should be all year round). Having a dinner in the evening would be your the most fulfilled experience (would be a fulfilling experience). Nevertheless, this is place (the location of ) of (the) Aquarium, Maritime and Powerhouse museums that will revitalize (? not sure what to make of this) your memory."
   
   Also, do you have permission to use the images? They have to be Creative Commons licensed for use on HubPages.

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   1. 67

      hopeman1posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, I highly appreciate for the feedback. I have updated the article and request you to guide me for further improvement. thanks

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      1. 78

         theraggededgeposted 6 years agoin reply to this

         You cannot take photos from other websites and republish them.
         
         Think about it. Photographers have to earn a living. So they sell their work to magazines (online and offline). Like your own words, they are copyrighted. You could receive a demand for payment for unauthorized use.
         
         Please read this: https://hubpageshelp.com/content/Learni … -image-use

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         1. 67

            hopeman1posted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you so much for your valuable suggestion. I am going to change all pictures and replace them with my own pictures.

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   2. 67

      hopeman1posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      I changed the contents and pictures. Could you please go through again and  give me your valuable feedback? Thanks.

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3. 96

   CMHypnoposted 6 years ago

   I'm guessing that maybe English is not your first language.  What is 'neoteric architecture'?  I think you are perhaps trying too hard.  Keep your use of language simple and avoid the overblown phrases.
   
   Also, your descriptions of each area of Sydney are very brief.  Maybe add a bit of depth?
   
   Where did you get your photographs? Have you accredited your sources?

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   1. 67

      hopeman1posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi,
      Thanks for your valuable suggestion. Neoteric means new or modern; recent.
      Anyway, I have updated the article and request you to go through it and suggest me to improve further, thanks.

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   2. 67

      hopeman1posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, Please go through again and suggest me how to improve further.

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4. 99

   DrMark1961posted 6 years ago

   If I were to open and read this article this is the first sentence I would see: "Though Sydney is not the national capital but the city has an impressive image attracting people all across the world for its vivid urban ambiance, flourish architecture, vibrant beaches and strong sense of urbanized acculturation"
   There are several grammatical and spelling errors; when I saw them I would bounce out of there and go to a page that made some sense. If you cannot write without such serious errors you need to find someone to proofread your articles before submission. If you do not want to do so, do not expect to do well on this site.
   
   There is a lot of work to do. The descriptions are pretty brief and not very helpful. This article can potentially pass QAP if you are willing to fix it.

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   1. 67

      hopeman1posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you sir for your valuable feedback.

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      1. 99

         DrMark1961posted 6 years agoin reply to this

         Lots to do here. Best of luck to you.

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         1. 67

            hopeman1posted 6 years agoin reply to this

            Hello Dr. Mark, I changed the contents. Could you please go through again and suggest me to improve further? thanks.

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5. 99

   DrMark1961posted 6 years ago

   It looks much better. A few suggestions though:
   -The callout capsule looks good at the top but I would not repeat the info in the first paragraph. If you do so, and the reader does see it again, he or she is not going to like it.
   -If you took those photos yourself, make a note about it in the intro paragraph. Something along the lines of "Ive included some photos of the great spots to visit in Sydney that I took on my last visit there.
   -Add a short summary about why you recommend Sydney over other destinations. (It can be brief, and do not call it "summary".)

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   1. 67

      hopeman1posted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Dr. Mark for your useful suggestion. The article is featured. Thanks again.

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