I'd like feedback on my article: Created Differently

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  1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
    Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Created Differently

    1. OldRoses profile image98
      OldRosesposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      HubPages is an American site with a mainly American audience.  Americans would find this article to be highly offensive.  We believe that men and women are equal in our society.  I doubt very much that this article as written will ever be approved for publication.

      1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
        Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        Hahahaha...I guessed just as much, that might be the reason why. It had nothing to do with the artistry of writing. I have lived years in America. Specifically in California and Texas, and I have an idea of what you are referring to. In no place did I state men and women are not equal. If otherwise, please point me to the paragraph where that was mentioned. I do understand the sensitivity to the subject matter. It is such that the truth can no more be said, just because some strange fella feels offended. Artistry is dead. Individuality is dead. Only that which aligns with a liberal and leftist mindset seems to be the order of the day. That is so sad. I am a strong believer in the equality of men and women, and if only the article is read with an open mind, it is all plainly stated in it. So sad.

        All the same, thanks for chiming in. I appreciate your time.

      2. Tamarajo profile image94
        Tamarajoposted 11 months agoin reply to this

        I'm an American and a female and did not find the article offensive at all. I actually found it affirming. I appreciate the differences between males and females and find them quite complementary to each other.

        There was nothing in the article that spoke of inequality of any kind. Distinguishing differences is not about valuing or devaluing.

        His article was about how the two function together unitedly because of those differences. It wasn't about one being better than the other.  Their different designs can actually be a platform for something quite beautiful.

        I can see how in both cases, male or female, anything can be subject to abuse or manipulation but the author wasn't discussing the topic in that context. He discussed it in the context of mutual love and respect.

        1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
          Akin Akinbodunseposted 11 months agoin reply to this

          @Tamarajo: I much appreciate your unbiased view. It is kind of becoming a challenge to speak one's view these days. A certain group, in pushing their agenda, seem to want to conform everyone to their way of seeing things. The very essence of being human is the ability to be able to see things from different points of very.

          Voltaire (François-Marie Arouet) the 18th century French Enlightenment writer, historian, and philosopher wrote, “I may disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it .”

          F. Scott Fitzgerald, 20th-century American novelist, essayist, screenwriter, and short-story writer, wrote, "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."

          It is a shame to see people unwilling to consider other views other than their biased opinions. That does not help the overall body of knowledge. It keeps us all under.

          Thanks once again for sticking your head out to share your truth. I'm sure there are many more people who would want to share theirs but need to pick up the courage. Thanks for leading the way.

  2. FatFreddysCat profile image97
    FatFreddysCatposted 12 months ago

    I bailed out after this line.

    "Women are made with carefully finished and rounded edges, cleavages that sparkle and awaken the dead."

    1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
      Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      And, what is wrong with that? What is wrong in appreciating beauty where it is found? Are we so dead of mind, and so much sold out our souls we can no more say what we see. Why else do you think studios pay some women to pose for artists to draw? You think it is because they have no other thing to do? Or, it is because of the beauty they are trying to show forth, that goes beyond what the human eyes can see?

      1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
        Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        Thanks all the same, for your time.

  3. AliciaC profile image99
    AliciaCposted 12 months ago

    The only thing I can think of is to switch the article to the religion category, since your beliefs about men and women are linked to your religious views. It might be accepted there, though even in that category there may be some controversy about your opinions.

    1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
      Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      I agree. It is all a matter of opinion. Well taken. Thanks for your opinion.

  4. Kenna McHugh profile image92
    Kenna McHughposted 12 months ago

    You have ads running within the article, so it must be approved, right?

    1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
      Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      No, I have no personal ads running in it. All the ads are from Hubpages. Or, which ad are you referring to?

  5. psycheskinner profile image83
    psycheskinnerposted 12 months ago

    Your article is wildly sexist, also the Mars/Venus thing is not mythology it is a modern theory that  belongs to John Gray.

  6. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
    Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months ago

    Really? Who is a  sexist? What is sexist? What makes the article sexist in your opinion. Do you understand the place of imagination in an artistic venture? What is a myth, in your opinion?

    1. OldRoses profile image98
      OldRosesposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      You asked for help.  People who have been writing on HubPages for years and know how to be successful here took the time to give you that help. Your response was to argue with them rather than to consider their advice.  Obviously you are not interested in getting help.  You just want to argue.

      1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
        Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        Sorry, if it appears as such. I am relatively new here. My response is to better understand the sensibilities here, I am no robot or a dustbin. I need to process the information received. Sorry, it comes to you as arguing, but that is not the intent. If I was arguing, I would not have cared to thank you for your valuable time. I did and I still do. Because I appreciate the time you have taken to provide clarity. Thanks for your time, and valuable feedback.

  7. psycheskinner profile image83
    psycheskinnerposted 12 months ago

    If you want to publish on a site that targets that small audience that thinks women were created to serve men, this is not it.

    If you want to publish on a site that creates popular content for a predominantly American audience, this kind of derivative and prejudiced material will not fly.

    This country has moved on from thinking any demographic group was created by God to be oppressed by another demographic group.

    If that happens to be your subculture, cult or kink involving only informed and consenting people, go for it -- but don't tell anyone else that it is their innate calling.

    1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
      Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      I am at a loss as to your insinuations. Please quote specifically where I mentioned that women should serve men. Why not read with a clear mind and take away your bias? Stop reading into my article what is not there.

      1. Sherry Hewins profile image96
        Sherry Hewinsposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        Maybe the "Created for Service" section? If everyone who reads it gets the same impression, maybe it's not the reader whose mind is not clear, but the writing.

        1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
          Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

          Really? Did you read what it entails? The fact that her service is based on that with which she is endowed -  a womb and breast? Did you read the part that said a man is here for service and to worship? We all are here to serve one another. No one is an island. No one is complete in isolation. Together we make living pleasurably. What is wrong with that?

          As Albeit Einstein puts it,

          “Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of other men —above all for those upon whose smile and well-being our own happiness depends, for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received and am still receiving.”

      2. lobobrandon profile image92
        lobobrandonposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        Women are equipped for service... duh.

        1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
          Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

          What is wrong with that? How come you don't have an issue with where I said man is her for service? How come is only the woman part you have an issue with? Is taht not a bias?

          We are each and all here for service? We are each endowed for service? Only is service are we a blessing to one another.

          1. lobobrandon profile image92
            lobobrandonposted 12 months agoin reply to this

            You asked to quote yourself where you say women should serve men.

            I clearly said I agree with just one sentence of your article so I disagree with the rest.

      3. theraggededge profile image99
        theraggededgeposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        This may be the problematic paragraph:

        "The woman was created with man in mind. God looked at the things a man will need to make him complete and provided it in a package, called a woman, a man with a womb and breast. A womb to carry and a breast to nurture and ravish. What a God? When He provides, He provides completely."

        The thing is, no other being created a person, apart from their parents. Humans evolved. As a woman, I was born, not 'provided'. I don't exist to complete a man. While I'm not one to take offence, it's clear that these ideas are offensive in this day and age.

        And phrases such as 'rightly sized breast' and 'A woman who knows her place' is going to alienate half of your readership as well as the QAP team.

        Your article has been rejected; you might as well listen to the advice.

        1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
          Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

          Thanks, I appreciate your view. We are all here for each other. No one is here for his/herself. The issue here are religious sensitivities. Obviously, what I wrote is from a biblically idealogy. Using words like "rightly-sized" is simply being artistic to create a picture. Unfortunately, a section has an issue with it. Not an issue. Everyone's view is respected. I probably posted in the wrong section.

          1. theraggededge profile image99
            theraggededgeposted 12 months agoin reply to this

            Yes, but it creates an erroneous picture. There is no 'rightly-sized', other than your own preferences.

            Your dismissive, "Unfortunately, a section has an issue with it." is not helping you. I suspect a lot of the QAP team are female.

            1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
              Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

              Point well taken. Thanks for the insight.

  8. lobobrandon profile image92
    lobobrandonposted 12 months ago

    There's just one sentence in the whole piece that I agree with: "We might as well call a spade a spade".

    On those lines, I went ahead and flagged the article for review as one that was categorized wrong. I suggested a move to religion because it's got zero facts and all beliefs, no matter how weird and stone age they may seem.

    1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
      Akin Akinbodunseposted 12 months agoin reply to this

      Thanks for your view. As you said, I probably posted in the wrong section. Thanks for your re-categorization.

      1. lobobrandon profile image92
        lobobrandonposted 12 months agoin reply to this

        No prob. That way it would reach the right audience.

  9. psycheskinner profile image83
    psycheskinnerposted 11 months ago

    Finding it affirming that your gender was created to serve another is a niche viewpoint these days. 

    It means taking pride in having the innate role of servant to more other people who exist in their own right, while you do not.

    It means thinking any woman not filling that role is abnormal.

    It is totally fine if some women choose to fill a service-to-men role but it is wrong to say that is the innate identity of all women.

    If you want to write to an audience of service-identity women then mark you hubs accordingly.

    1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
      Akin Akinbodunseposted 11 months agoin reply to this

      You are coming across to me as one with a closed mind.

      What I am hearing is one who thinks she knows it all and there is no more "sense of wonder." 

      I truly wish and hope I am hearing you wrongly.

      You keep reading into my writing what is not there. Not sure where you are getting all that notion from.

      The service we render as human beings is not limited to opposite genders.

      Like, I earlier quoted Albert Einstein, we are ALL (male and female) here for the good of one another (male or female).

      In no place did I limit the relationship to just between males and females.

      All, I set out to do was to say each is specially endowed, and there is no place for comparison, nor competition.

      Every other thing you are reading into it is coming from your bias.

      Slow down. You don't know it all. There is a world out there you don't know.

      Open your mind and learn. Don't lock yourself in a prison of bias.

      F. Scott Fitzgerald, 20th-century American novelist, essayist, screenwriter, and short-story writer, wrote, "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function."

      I know you have a "first rate intelligent" mind. Please don't let me start doubting that.

      1. lobobrandon profile image92
        lobobrandonposted 11 months agoin reply to this

        People often say this, but they fail to realize opinions are not ideas. Some people out there think one is close minded when they fail to acknowledge that it is possible the Earth is flat. It is an "idea" after all, isn't it?

        If I recall you asked which part of your article spoke a certain way and at least three different people pointed you to the exact same part of the article. You can say what you want about the people who commented that, but saying anyone read what is not there is pushing it, don't you agree?

        1. Akin Akinbodunse profile image62
          Akin Akinbodunseposted 11 months agoin reply to this

          Each of those points we discussed. It is all a matter of perspective. 4 +5 = 9 , so is 6 + 3.

          1. lobobrandon profile image92
            lobobrandonposted 11 months agoin reply to this

            Exactly my point. The Earth is not flat unless you look at its projection on a plane. It's all perspective. Unfortunately, some people have a perspective that the Earth is flat in the 3D domain and they believe that their opinion is an idea, the truth and that it must be entertained.

  10. theraggededge profile image99
    theraggededgeposted 11 months ago

    So while you've been busy arguing with everyone who provided the feedback you asked for, has your article passed QAP?

    May I suggest, if you don't want people's opinions, that you don't invite them?

 
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