I'd like feedback on my article: Hormonal makeup during pregnancy

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  1. Sarah Hussien profile image60
    Sarah Hussienposted 4 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Hormonal makeup during pregnancy (must be signed in to view)

  2. AliciaC profile image94
    AliciaCposted 4 years ago

    First, I think you need a new title for the article. You haven’t discussed the hormones in a pregnant woman’s body, so the title isn’t appropriate.

    The title should be written in title case. Your subtitle shouldn’t be the same as your title.

    The article is too short and needs more than one text capsule. The large spaces between the sentences don’t look very good. You have repeated the number three in your list. In addition, you need to correct the English errors in your bio and in the article.

    I think you also need to make it clear to a reader why being a dentist enables you to write about conditions during pregnancy. Including authoritative medical references for the information in the article would be helpful.

    1. Sarah Hussien profile image60
      Sarah Hussienposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you very much for these precious advice

      1. AliciaC profile image94
        AliciaCposted 4 years agoin reply to this

        You're welcome, Sarah. I edited my response to add some more suggestions before I saw your reply. You might want to look at my list again.

        1. Sarah Hussien profile image60
          Sarah Hussienposted 4 years agoin reply to this

          I have edited my article. Can you check it then give me your opinion, please?

  3. Rupert Taylor profile image96
    Rupert Taylorposted 4 years ago

    You still haven't used the AP Title format. There's a tool here that will help you https://capitalizemytitle.com/

    So, "How can pregnancy affect women's bodies?!" should be "How Can Pregnancy Affect Women's Bodies?" - and lose the exclamation mark.

    There are still grammar errors. Your opening sentence is "Do you know recently that you will have a baby for the first time soon?!." Better would be something like "Have you just found out you are pregnant for the first time?" Again, lose the exclamation mark.

    Groase hair ??? Do you mean Gross Hair, Course Hair, Greasy Hair, or something else.

    Please check the Learning Center here https://hubpageshelp.com/ to find out how to properly format an article.

    And, the article is still too short; it should be at least 1,000 words.

 
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