I'd like feedback on my article: Top 5 Global Disruptive Innovators of the...

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   Joyful Prideposted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Top 5 Global Disruptive Innovators of the Event Software Industry (must be signed in to view)

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   AliciaCposted 5 years ago

   Your article seems to be designed to promote the company mentioned in the link at the end. Articles that promote a business aren't allowed on HubPages.

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      Joyful Prideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      thank u a lot., and i have modified the content. Please look and suggest: https://hubpages.com/technology/Top-5-G … e-Industry

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   theraggededgeposted 5 years ago

   It's also full of 'corporate-speak'. Not something I like to read
   
   "Among which EventTitans an emergent event platform offers 22+ Event Tools to hold the tag name of Disruptive Innovator of the event market industry."
   
   What is that in plain English?
   
   This might be helpful: http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/

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      Joyful Prideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, i have removed the line that you mentioned and thank you so much, please provide your feedback on edited article: https://hubpages.com/technology/Top-5-G … e-Industry

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   Rupert Taylorposted 5 years ago

   This still has a number of problems. Your title is still not in APA Title format. Here's a link to help with that https://capitalizemytitle.com/
   
   Don't write text in boldface. It is deemed to be shouting on the Internet and is frowned upon.
   
   There are still numerous run-on, management-speak sentences. The best English is the simplest English.
   
   Do you have permission to use the images?

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      Joyful Prideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Hi. i made my copy by considering your review and thank u for the valuable suggestions.

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   AliciaCposted 5 years ago

   I notice that the source under the photo for the first company that you describe is a link while the other photo sources are not links. You still appear to be promoting the company that I referred to in my first post.

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      Joyful Prideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Yes, i though hub pages will remove if there are multiple links, so i given only one. Now i added all five external links. Let's see, and Thank You again.

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         AliciaCposted 5 years agoin reply to this

         Hi again. I don't think that you should add links for all the sites. I think there should be no links at all. If someone wants to find one of the sites, they can easily find it by its name.

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            Joyful Prideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

            Ok i will remove all of them now.

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   Kenna McHughposted 5 years ago

   You have a habit of using "etc." It is not widely accepted and shows signs of a lazy writer. Which behooves me to ask: Who is your audience and how does this article help your audience?

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      Joyful Prideposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you for the feeback, i removed etc.

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