I'd like feedback on my article: Why We All Should Enjoy Our Present Rather...

1. 69

   Suchismita pradhanposted 5 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Why We All Should Enjoy Our Present Rather Than Traveling In The Past Or Future?

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   1. 83

      theraggededgeposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Hello there,
      
      The first sentence is 'off'. "While running after the future we are missing small things in our lives which are really expensive."
      
      I think you mean 'valuable' or 'precious'. Expensive, as you written it here. means 'costing a lot of money'.
      
      That sentence could be written in a much better way, something like, "While we are so busy chasing a better future, we are missing precious jewels of moments in the present."
      
      And then you say, "Most of the time our time flies in worrisome and fear." This is such a generalisation and patently not true. Not everyone spends all their time worrying and in fear. I certainly don't. That sentence would make me immediately press the Back button because it doesn't resonate with me at all... and you might find that it turns a lot of readers off.
      
      You have to be careful with this kind of article because it can come over as lecturing. Try to avoid the 'you shoulds'. Share your experiences as you have done and then make gentle suggestions as to how your reader could avoid falling into the same traps.
      
      You reference an English saying, which properly expressed is, 'Let bygones be bygones', and what that means is to put old grievances to rest. It's usually used when two people are reconciling after a disagreement, so not quite what you are trying to say. Better might be, 'you can't change what's in the past'.
      
      There's a bit of work to do here, but I'm sure you could turn it into a good article.

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   2. 72

      Eurofileposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      Overall I like the message you are conveying with this article. I think you could tighten up the title a little, as it doesn't read well. It's a bit cumbersome. You could focus on the present and put the past and future in later in your article.
      I agree with the points made by theraggededge.
      Also try reading the article through slowly to yourself or get an English speaker to read through to pick up words that don't quite fit and grammatical errors. A free download of Grammarly might help.
      Above all don't get discouraged. You just have to persevere a little until your article passes the quality assessment.

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2. 77

   Rupert Taylorposted 5 years ago

   Your article has been featured although there are a lot of grammatical errors in it.

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