I'd like feedback on my article: A Good Laugh Can Gift You a Good Life

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  1. Suchismita pradhan profile image69
    Suchismita pradhanposted 5 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Please highlight the errors. Thank you.
    Here is my article: A Good Laugh Can Gift You a Good Life

  2. Eurofile profile image70
    Eurofileposted 5 years ago

    The message of your article is good. The presentation maybe needs a little attention. Your sections are quite long. Could you break them up a little maybe? Are there more illustrations that you could add? Could you put a subtitle on the first text capsule?
    More specifically I would delete the speech marks on the definition of happiness. 'Fascination.........tempts people' reads better. Some words could be replaced. Could you put 'omitted' or 'excluded laughter'. After 'pocket' I think the sentences could be broken up into shorter sentences. If you put speech marks around "yes", you should also use them for "no". Instead of 'yanking' you could write 'dragging you down' and you could put 'rating someone' instead of 'ratifying'.
    Do you use a free aid like Grammarly to help with text issues?
    Could you read the hub through slowly or get someone else to check it through for you?
    The message is good, it just needs a little tweaking with the presentation to get it through. I hope this helps.

    1. Suchismita pradhan profile image69
      Suchismita pradhanposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I appreciate your help. Thanks.

  3. AliciaC profile image93
    AliciaCposted 5 years ago

    The last sentence of the third paragraph could be changed to “The joy never lasts long and disappears before we reach home.” The last paragraph of the first text capsule contains several errors and needs to be reworded. There are some additional language problems in the article.

    As Eurofile says, your message is good. You need to find someone who is willing to act as an editor for the article. Good luck.

    1. Suchismita pradhan profile image69
      Suchismita pradhanposted 5 years agoin reply to this

      I am so very grateful for your time.Thank you.

 
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