I'd like feedback on my article: 15 Places You Need to Visit Before You Die

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   Celine Hsuposted 4 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: 15 Places You Need to Visit Before You Die (must be signed in to view)

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      theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi there,
      
      The problem with this kind of article is that usually the writer hasn't visited these places themselves. And it's obvious. So why should your readers trust your recommendations if you've never been?
      
      The descriptions of the destinations are so brief and generic that they are pointless. Two sentences for Arctic/Antarctic.
      
      Have a think about this. Have you written it just for the sake of it? Or do you want to share your unique viewpoint of these wonderful places? Maybe you should write it as places you would love to see. How do you imagine them? What would you do when you get there? How are you planning on funding the trips? Who will you take with you?
      
      Do you see what I mean? It has to be meaningful or it's not worth writing.
      
      When you add images from Pixabay or Unsplash, it's polite to credit the photographer and link to the image.

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      1. 59

         Celine Hsuposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Deleted
         1. 59

            Celine Hsuposted 4 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you so much!
            
            I'll try to edit my article again with more details, and possibly change a couple of things.
            
            Although, do you think the title is a little too dramatic? I was thinking of changing it but wasn't 100% certain.

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            1. 87

               theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

               I don't like the title much. I think it would be better as "15 Places I Need To Visit Before I Die". You can't tell people to go to these places unless you have experienced them yourself.
               
               While articles shouldn't be like blog posts, in this case I think you should add the personal touch as suggested in my previous reply.

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               1. 59

                  Celine Hsuposted 4 years agoin reply to this

                  Alright, thanks.

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   Eurofileposted 4 years ago

   Theraggededge gives good advice.
   I would change the title to reflect your personal perspective.
   This article is, as I said in my comment, a list. The 15 locations could do with more detail added to them.
   There are also some minor grammatical improvements you can make. In section 6, I would put 'has made' not 'had made'.
   It doesn't make sense to write 'inhabits'. 'is made up of' reads better.
   In section 8 'locates' does not sound right. I suggest switching the sentence around to put 'beach is located.....'
   The last sentence doesn't make sense.
   In section 11, I would replace 'Despite' with 'As well as'.
   In section 12 replace 'extremely' with 'so'.
   In section 13, omit 'which is'.
   I'm not sure that 'specialness' is a word in section 14.
   In section 15, it should be 'appeal'.
   You give details about travel to Antarctica. Can you give travel suggestions for some of the other less accessible places?
   The article finishes abruptly. Could you do some kind of a conclusion to draw it together at the end?
   I hope this helps. Be encouraged, it takes perseverance to get through the Quality Assessment Process, but you will get there in the end.

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   1. 59

      Celine Hsuposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      That's so thoughtful, thank you!

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