Ok, Joke time

Jump to Last Post 1-9 of 9 discussions (16 posts)
  1. thirdmillenium profile image60
    thirdmilleniumposted 8 years ago

    The priest at the altar demands: who among you are he and he?
    All men stand up.
    The priest thunders: "you will all go to hell, and who are she and she?
    All women stand up. Priest is livid: "you will all go a special hell"

    Little Johnny had stood up neither time. Priest is relieved that there is at least one member of the congregation who is not a sinner.

    Now Litte Johnny gets up timidly and asks: "What about me and me?"

  2. theirishobserver. profile image58
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    Priest goes into his hotel bedroom,
    Porn channel is not working.
    Priest goes down to the reception,
    Excuse me manager is the porn in my room disabled?
    No you sick feaker it is just ordinary porn.

    1. profile image0
      lyricsingrayposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      lol lol lol

    2. Urbane Chaos profile image98
      Urbane Chaosposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      That's good stuff right there!!

  3. theirishobserver. profile image58
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    Doctor, Doctor, I feel like Im a pair of curtains
    For Gods sake man pull yourself together... smile

    1. profile image0
      lyricsingrayposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      lol  your killing me  lol

  4. theirishobserver. profile image58
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    Yes Mrs Jones what is your problem.
    Well doctor every time my husband presses my right breast I pass wind,
    I see, take this cream and rub it on your right breast for one week and then come back,
    Hello doctor you said to come back in one week,
    Jump up on the table there and I will squeeze that big old titty, Jesus almighty Christ,
    Doctor whats wrong, what is it, what are you going to do with that big long pole,
    Im going to open the window, your pure rotten.......... smile

  5. tobey100 profile image59
    tobey100posted 8 years ago

    What do you get when you cross a woman with ESP in possession of a GPS?

    A scarey witch that WILL find you!

    1. Daniel Carter profile image78
      Daniel Carterposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      lol  lol

      I think I met her...

      1. tobey100 profile image59
        tobey100posted 8 years agoin reply to this

        I know I dated her a couple of times!

  6. theirishobserver. profile image58
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    Doctor doctor I think Im a snooker ball,

    Just get to the end of the cue.....

  7. Urbane Chaos profile image98
    Urbane Chaosposted 8 years ago

    I always loved this one:

    So this guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing a pair of pants made out of clear Saran Wrap.  The psychiatrist takes one look at him and promptly says "well, I can clearly see your nuts!"

    And this one, while completly stupid, took me about a week to get. Once I got it, I "LMAO" for about an hour:

    So, two men walk into a bar.  The third man ducked.

    1. tobey100 profile image59
      tobey100posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Horse walks into a bar.  Bartender says "Hey buddy, why the long face?"

    2. thirdmillenium profile image60
      thirdmilleniumposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hello Urbane
      Can't quite get it and I am not about to wait for a week like you did.
      Please let me in.
      Thanks

  8. theirishobserver. profile image58
    theirishobserver.posted 8 years ago

    Urban like your style smile

  9. brimancandy profile image79
    brimancandyposted 8 years ago

    This one is a bit dirty.

    A boy comes home from school early, and finds his parents naked on the living room floor. He asks what they are doing?

    The father says, we are just playing poker I am the king and your mother is the queen. The boy says ok.

    The boy comes home a few days later and finds them naked again.
    His dad says. Just playing poker again, I'm the king and your mom is the queen. The boy says, alright. I get it.

    A few hours later the father goes up to his son's bedroom to tell him that dinner is ready, and finds him playing with himself. He is horrified?

    What the heck are you doing son?

    Playing Poker. The son replies as he beats away.

    You can't play poker like that, you don't have a queen!

    The boy responds, who needs a queen to play poker when you have a great hand like this!

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)