The priest at the altar demands: who among you are he and he?
All men stand up.
The priest thunders: "you will all go to hell, and who are she and she?
All women stand up. Priest is livid: "you will all go a special hell"
Little Johnny had stood up neither time. Priest is relieved that there is at least one member of the congregation who is not a sinner.
Now Litte Johnny gets up timidly and asks: "What about me and me?"
Priest goes into his hotel bedroom,
Porn channel is not working.
Priest goes down to the reception,
Excuse me manager is the porn in my room disabled?
No you sick feaker it is just ordinary porn.
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like Im a pair of curtains
For Gods sake man pull yourself together...
Yes Mrs Jones what is your problem.
Well doctor every time my husband presses my right breast I pass wind,
I see, take this cream and rub it on your right breast for one week and then come back,
Hello doctor you said to come back in one week,
Jump up on the table there and I will squeeze that big old titty, Jesus almighty Christ,
Doctor whats wrong, what is it, what are you going to do with that big long pole,
Im going to open the window, your pure rotten..........
What do you get when you cross a woman with ESP in possession of a GPS?
A scarey witch that WILL find you!
Doctor doctor I think Im a snooker ball,
Just get to the end of the cue.....
I always loved this one:
So this guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing a pair of pants made out of clear Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist takes one look at him and promptly says "well, I can clearly see your nuts!"
And this one, while completly stupid, took me about a week to get. Once I got it, I "LMAO" for about an hour:
So, two men walk into a bar. The third man ducked.
This one is a bit dirty.
A boy comes home from school early, and finds his parents naked on the living room floor. He asks what they are doing?
The father says, we are just playing poker I am the king and your mother is the queen. The boy says ok.
The boy comes home a few days later and finds them naked again.
His dad says. Just playing poker again, I'm the king and your mom is the queen. The boy says, alright. I get it.
A few hours later the father goes up to his son's bedroom to tell him that dinner is ready, and finds him playing with himself. He is horrified?
What the heck are you doing son?
Playing Poker. The son replies as he beats away.
You can't play poker like that, you don't have a queen!
The boy responds, who needs a queen to play poker when you have a great hand like this!
by nicomp really 2 months ago
A traveling salesman, a clown, a horse, and a midget walk into a bar...The bartender says "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"
by damian0000 7 years ago
Who is the funniest comedian of all time?What, for you, is their best joke?
by dnrkrishnan25 7 years ago
One funny Joke ?
by Daffy Duck 2 years ago
There are millions of jokes out there. Everyone says they have a great one. What's the funniest one?
by Amanda Littlejohn 8 minutes ago
Do the porn and trash links appear on my Owlcation educational articles?I know the issue has been highlighted elsewhere, but this specific question concerns me.I don't want to support that sort of thing in any case and I'm sure I'm not alone here in realizing that if that's the future of Hubpages,...
by Martin Heeremans 4 years ago
I know everyone has that one hilarious joke they use which will always get a good laugh out of everyone in the local vicinity.I'll start.A new Commander is sent to take over a command of a post in a remote location.On his entrance he spots a donkey tied to a rope behind the barracks. Unsure as to...
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