I'd like feedback on my article: Keep in Mind Before Falling in Love.

1. 70

   kiran khannasposted 4 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Keep in Mind Before Falling in Love.

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   1. 72

      theraggededgeposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Kiran,
      
      I think the article looks a bit messy. There's no proper introduction and it starts with quotations which are not formatted in the same way. There appears to be another quotation (I assume) which ends with the words 'The MindsJournal'. It's not clear. If that whole previous section is lifted from elsewhere then you have probably tripped the duplicate content filter. Quotes should be short, and the bulk of the work should be in your own words.
      
      Also it seems as though you are lecturing the reader. That will put people off. "Never do this..." and "Never do that..." It's very prescriptive.
      
      There are many grammatical errors. It's 'buts', not 'butts'.
      
      Remove the full stop from the title.
      
      Make sure all subheadings are in title case.
      
      Good luck.
      
      PS Create a bio for your profile page.

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      1. 70

         kiran khannasposted 4 years agoin reply to this

         Hi, This is really helpful. I will work on this. Thank you.

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   2. 84

      GwennyOhposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      The title is grammatically incorrect. "Keep in Mind Before Falling in Love";-- keep what in mind? Also, it could be worded better, such as "A Point to Keep in Mind..."
      
      The whole concept the title is based on is faulty, as imagine someone saying to themselves for example--"I think I am going to fall in love soon, so I had better read some suggestions on what to do and what not to do."
      
      You say, "say no to attachment," but who chooses to become attached?
      --virtually no one. Hence this needs to be softly brought to mind as something to avoid when entering a new relationship, not before falling in love and should not be delivered Ten Commandments style. Just my opinion, but I hope it helps on some level.
      
      Oh, and the first picture is cheesy, imho, and the second is more of the same... no additional message is implied by it.
      
      One more point to keep in mind, is that not everyone believes in God, and some find it offensive to read stuff referencing that particular mythological character. Some like it, as many do not. You can take my last comment with a grain of salt--I write about contrary things sometimes. However, I am writing within a niche so that's not a bad thing--for me.

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   3. 62

      Abby Slutskyposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      There are some grammar issues. I would use Grammarly or a similar program. All your headings are not in APA format. Best of luck.

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   4. 89

      Miebakagh57posted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Hi, the article has many problems.                                                                Here are some: bad title, long paragraphe, poor sub-title, poor grammar, and punctuations.                                                                                                 The title seems not to match the subject as they is a dual theme within the frame work.                                                Lastly, your story lacks  HubPages' APA format. So, click HELP top right on your time line. You will be weloome at the learning center. Help yourself and good success.

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