I'd like feedback on my article: Homemade Orange Skin Oil for Face and Body...

  1. Shuan Brown profile image71
    Shuan Brownposted 4 years ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Homemade Orange Skin Oil for Face and Body Treatment

    replyreport
  2. theraggededge profile image82
    theraggededgeposted 4 years ago

    Hi Shuan,

    There are some awkward-sounding sentences. Not necessarily grammatically wrong, but just a bit stilted. The introduction doesn't really grab the reader's attention. You don't even mention oranges in the first paragraph. And I think it needs to be a little more personal. Talk directly to your reader. Something like this...

    "Instead of splashing out on expensive over-the-counter products, why not consider using the humble orange to take care of your skin?"

    Imagine you are talking to a friend.

    What are 'ripped' oranges? Do you mean ripe? Or peeled?

    What do you mean exactly by 'fine mesh'? Should it be fabric like muslin? Or plastic/metal like a sieve?

    'Seedlings' are small plants. You mean 'pips'.

    I'm confused - should the oranges have their skin on or not?

    It's impossible to chop an orange up so that it resembles grains of rice. It will just turn to mush and the juice will flow away. Wouldn't it be better to pulp it in a juicer or food processor?

    Watch out for random and unnecessary capitalisation. In your list, you shouldn't capitalise orange, olive oil, or grapeseed oil. They are not proper nouns. There are many instances throughout the article.

    In your 'Reasons for Recommendation' section, you have listed two properties twice. The paragraphs should be mashed together, not separated. Remove the bold text.

    The video is not relevant to the article content.

    It would be helpful if you included step-by-step photos, which will help to clear up any confusion.

    Needs some work, but I'm sure you could get it through.

    replyreport
    1. Shuan Brown profile image71
      Shuan Brownposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      Thank you very much

      replyreport
 
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