I'd like feedback on my article: How to Remove Dark Spots on the Face Naturally

1. 79

   Dandelion Wishposted 6 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: How to Remove Dark Spots on the Face Naturally (must be signed in to view)

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2. 81

   Natalie Frankposted 6 years ago

   I am not exactly sure why this didn't get through QA&P but here are a couple of suggestions to strengthen it a bit. It sound like you developed the facial mask yourself from ingredients that you chose from a trial and error method.  If this is the case then say how you chose the different ingredients and which others you tried that you didn't select.  If the face mask is taken from somewhere or someone else, then you need to credit it.  If that's the case then you would need additional information that adds to something that is already out there.
   
   I think the main thing I see is you mix first hand with what sounds like third person.  So for example in the first paragraph everything is from a personal standpoint until you get to, "One of the most effective treatments is the face mask," which sounds like you have done a bunch of research and it all suggests that is the case.  Instead try, "The remedy I found to be most effective was the brightening face mask." Again If you found this to be most effective that suggests that you tried other things as well.  Discuss what else you tried.
   
   Remove the amazon capsule and use an in text link instead.  The ad might also cause some confusion because you give one recipe for the mask in your article but the product includes recipes for both skin brightening and skin lightening which other than the licorice root has nothing in common with your recipe.  Maybe consider another ad?
   
   Maybe consider providing an original picture of the mask as you are making it.  Would also help, given it personal experience if you could give a semi objective account of how much the spots on your face faded.  This could just be something like at time one they were too dark to cover with makeup, at time two they could be covered with make up but were still visible without it, at time three they had faded completely or something similar.
   
   Good luck.

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3. 95

   AliciaCposted 6 years ago

   Hi. The two areas that I think are the main problems are the Amazon capsules and the lack of references. At the end of the article you're trying to sell five items "that have been found to be highly effective." HubPages wants to see evidence that we've used the products that we're trying to sell and wants us to state why we think those specific products and brands are useful.
   
   The same points apply to the licorice root powder in your first Amazon capsule. You have stated that licorice powder has helped you, but I think you should explain why people should buy the particular brand in the Amazon capsule.
   
   Another thing that I noticed is that you've included health and science facts in your table and the rest of the article. This is good, but I think you should include authoritative references for the information.
   
   Edit: I think you also need to advise people to get a medical diagnosis for their dark spots in case they are caused by something more serious than the common factors that you describe. It's good that you've done this with respect to people with a hormonal imbalance, but perhaps you could extend the advice to everyone with dark spots. Some kind of disclaimer about the treatment that you are advising would also be good.

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4. 83

   Kenna McHughposted 6 years ago

   AliciaC suggestions are very good.

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