I'd like feedback on my article: Atman: Upanishads and Historic Vedic...

  1. Poet Archana Das profile image66
    Poet Archana Dasposted 10 days ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
    Here is my article: Atman: Upanishads and Historic Vedic Conception of Creation & Existence- Who am I, a Poem (must be signed in to view)

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  2. GwennyOh profile image92
    GwennyOhposted 10 days ago

    If presented in the right way there'd be a lot of interest in it. However, you wrote it from a first-person perspective--it's about YOU. You need to change that because the reader wants to read about THEM. Consider rewriting it to be about how people generally feel when experiencing a void inside. People often do, and I believe it to be rather common. There's your chance to make it about your readership.

    You described the word Vedas as being a reflexive pronoun. That is not enough of an explanation for anyone to gain comprehension of the Vedas. It is a mere splinter of what you'd need to say.

    The Upanishads, all you said to describe them, is that it is a fore philosophical topic. I haven't read the Upanishads and could probably say that much.

    You went on to say "The texts of Upanishads state that the core of every individual self is not the body, nor the mind, nor the ego, but it is the Atman, soul. It is the spiritual essence, the innermost being that connects us to the truth, and it remains in all creatures." However, you did not state whether that was a statement that could largely encapsulate the meaning of the Upanishads. Contextually one would assume that it does not though.

    What I have said about these things, will likely be something you'll need to examine throughout the hub. Beyond that, your grammar needs some tidying up.

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