I'd like feedback on my article: Coco Cola and Ronaldo

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   abidareacodeposted 2 years ago

   Hi Hubbers,
   
   I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article? What can I do to improve? Thanks!
   Here is my article: Coco Cola and Ronaldo

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      AliciaCposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      Hi. I noticed some points that seem like major problems to me. One is that you’re trying to sell a backpack without reviewing it. Backpacks have nothing to do with your article. The other problem is that you are making damaging claims about a particular brand’s drink. You need to provide authoritative references for all of your claims about the drink’s effects on health. You also need to be very careful about your wording when you are criticizing a business.
      
      You should also check the grammar and punctuation in that article. Your bio is interesting, but it’s not related to the article. You need to be careful about statements like “Everyone in the world is familiar with the name Cristiano Ronaldo.“ That’s not the case.

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         abidareacodeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Ok Thank you AliciaC. It means when we add Amazone capsule the product should be reviewed by us. I will try to make changes.

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            theraggededgeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

            It means that the item must be closely related to the content. For instance, in a recipe when you recommend a particular type of ingredient. It should be something you are familiar with and can talk about within the article.
            
            The backpack is not related to your content.
            
            Also, your title spells Coca-Cola incorrectly. As will the URL (which you cannot change).

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               abidareacodeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

               Ok , I removed it.Thank you

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      Abby Slutskyposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      All your subtitles are not formatted correctly. Also, you may want to put the article through grammarly to check on a few English grammar items.

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   Miebakagh57posted 2 years ago

   I'm not a fan of CR 7, or that of any football club. Nor do I suppost the frequent consumption of carbonate bottled drinks.                                      Issues like these can lead to legal consequences. So I've to protect myselve.

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      abidareacodeposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      "Issues like these can lead to legal consequences" What do you mean ?

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         AliciaCposted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Miebakagh will have to explain what he meant, but I suspect he was thinking of the same problems that I mentioned. If you want to state that a specific soft drink is dangerous for health, you must do it carefully and provide suitable references in order to protect yourself (and HubPages).

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         Miebakagh57posted 2 years agoin reply to this

         Suppose the Coca Cola Bottling Company brings a legal suit against you? Thanks.

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   FatFreddysCatposted 2 years ago

   It's "Coca" Cola (with an "a"), not "Coco."
   
   Also, is it even necessary to explain what Coca-Cola is? I'm pretty sure just about every living being on the planet has heard of it by now.

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   Jodahposted 2 years ago

   Coca-Cola is still spelt incorrectly in your title. Also there errors throughout e.g. “ Almost all soccer fans in the world is familiar with the name Cristiano Ronaldo.” This should be “are familiar,” or “almost every soccer fan in the world is familiar…”

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5. 69

   Miebakagh57posted 2 years ago

   In my part of the world, coco cola is a local slang for the mineral drink, coca cola or coke.                                                  I was not surprised that the Hausa/Fulani dominated north call same drink dandan cola!

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6. 69

   Miebakagh57posted 2 years ago

   What is correctly or incorrectly spelt is none of my business per the  TONE  of the article.                                                 I'm sure the Coca Cola  Bottling Company has focus her sixth sense on  CR 7 and any subsequent thing that may arise.

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