How to improve?

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  1. sobia amir profile image71
    sobia amirposted 2 years ago
    1. Kenna McHugh profile image82
      Kenna McHughposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I suggest reading your article out loud to yourself. You have some apparent mistakes, like not capitalizing a word at the start of a sentence. Also, this is not an article. It's a blog.

    2. OldRoses profile image64
      OldRosesposted 2 years agoin reply to this

      I agree with Kenna.  This is a blog post.  HubPages is not a blogging platform.  If you want to write a blog, try Blogger or Wordpress, both are free and both can be monetized.  HubPages only publishes magazine style articles that are 1,000 words or more.

      You should spend some time reading the articles in the Learning Center (Help button in the upper right of your screen).  They will tell you everything you need to know to successfully write on HubPages.

  2. Rupert Taylor profile image83
    Rupert Taylorposted 2 years ago

    A huge flaw in your story is that if you count your blessings "You won't ever experience depression, which is one of the most significant things that will happen."

    That's just not how depression works; people who suffer from the condition cannot think themselves into a happy state of mind. It's a serious condition that requires medical help.

    This is not a magazine-style article, which is what HubPages publishes.

  3. AliciaC profile image94
    AliciaCposted 2 years ago

    I agree with what Rupert has said about depression. In addition, do you know anyone who is blind? You have made some assumptions in your article from the point of view of a sighted person. Adding the viewpoints of blind people could be a great addition to your article.

  4. sobia amir profile image71
    sobia amirposted 2 years ago

    Thank u all

  5. Eurofile profile image72
    Eurofileposted 2 years ago

    This reads like a stream of thought. Articles on this theme on HubPages tend to be more focussed and have a structure. Maybe a good starting point would be to ask yourself what points you are trying to convey and design a structure to achieve this. You might find it helpful too to download a free version of Grammarly to help with basic grammatical errors.

 
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