Feedback

1. 67

   Sadaka Ahmedposted 22 months ago

   I'd like to have some feedback on my new articles. Anybody there!!
   
   here's the link below
   
   https://hubpages.com/entertainment/the- … vie-review

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2. 83

   Rupert Taylorposted 22 months ago

   There are several issues that I see after a quick scan.
   
   You write "story tells us about the year of 1940s." Then you write "the year was 1940." Contradiction.
   
   "Ellie was naive, beautiful, brilliant, and belonged to a solvent family." What is a "solvent" family? I don't know.
   
   There are several grammar errors. I suggest running your copy through a free program such as Grammarly to help sort these out.
   
   Your title is in all caps - should be APA title face.
   
   Formatting is also an issue. Check out the Learning Center (follow the link at "help", top right) to see how HubPages wants us to present articles.
   
   Do you have permission to use the image? All images on HubPages must be free of copyright restrictions. Again, the Learning Center has information on this.

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3. 67

   Sadaka Ahmedposted 22 months ago

   Thanks for your feedback. I will try my best to improve. It takes too much time to write articles. But honestly saying, I enjoy.

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4. 96

   AliciaCposted 22 months ago

   Rupert has given you good feedback. I want to mention something that puzzles me. You say that in this era, true love is barely seen. You need to make it clear that you are talking about a particular and small region. People around the world are still marrying because they love their potential husband or wife.

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5. 81

   MariaMontgomeryposted 22 months ago

   You wrote, "The story tells us about the year of 1940s."  Remove the "s" after 1940, as you are talking about that year, not the decade of the 1940s.
   
   "I have already said that the year was 1940." Yes, you have already said that, so why say it again?
   
   In any article, the summary should be at the end. Yes, I know HP requires us to include what they call a summary at the beginning. Actually, it is more of an introduction, but note that it does not appear as a summary in the finished article -- the wording is there, but not the word "summary".
   
   In your mention of a "...solvent family...." it would be better to say an affluent family or maybe even a wealthy family. Solvent means only that they are not in debt, and can pay their bills.
   
   "... words of caution Ellie's mother gives Ellie about her(Ellie's mother's) ex boyfriend are noticeably remarkable. Mothers should help their children to make decisions before they decide."  1. put a space between "her and the parenthetical "Ellie's mother". 2. "ex boyfriend" should be hyphenated so it reads, ex-boyfriend. 3. "...help...make decisions before they decide...." is a bit redundant. Remove "...before they decide...."
   
   "...uttered by Noah 'WHAT DO YOU WANT?"...." Remove the caps. Use only a question mark, or a period, but not both. At the end of this paragraph, do not repeat Noah's question. Just say you found it interesting...."

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6. 67

   Sadaka Ahmedposted 22 months ago

   Thank you so much Maria, this will be a great help to edit my article and resubmit.

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7. 83

   Rupert Taylorposted 22 months ago

   "It takes too much time to write articles." Oh, Dear.
   
   If you approach writing with this mindset might I respectfully suggest taking up some other pursuit?

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8. 67

   Sadaka Ahmedposted 22 months ago

   Ha Ha I am bit Lazy. But I think wont quit so soon. I have some lack in grammatical  and vocabulary field, trying heard to overcome. I already taking help from Grammarly and word tune.   Looking forward for your valuable advice when in need. Again thanks a lot dear Taylor.

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