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New Hub out, constructive criticism appreciated.

  1. John Kounoupis profile image60
    John Kounoupisposted 7 years ago

    Hey ive got a new hub out about my favorite podcast, anybody have any ideas on how to make it better, or maybe what you thought of it?

    1. Marisa Wright profile image98
      Marisa Wrightposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      You're allowed to post a link to it so we can find it.

    2. Cagsil profile image60
      Cagsilposted 7 years agoin reply to this
      1. Cagsil profile image60
        Cagsilposted 7 years agoin reply to this

        It is too short.
        It has too many tags.
        It needs smaller paragraphs, spread your information over a wider area.
        It needs more information.

        Nice topic. smile

  2. profile image0
    Website Examinerposted 7 years ago

    -No space before or after brackets - like ( wrong)
    -I noticed you alternating between present and past tense within same sentence, that has to be consistent
    - no comma here: "their videos, was"
    -"and... Well... Decided" - change W and D to lower case
    -"either...), who they" - change to "whom they"
    -"and... Well... Decided" - change W and D to lower case
    -"Other times, Simon takes" - change to "At other times,..."
    -"role of may different' - change to "many different..."
    -"all of which hilarious" - change to "all of which are..."

    Not bad otherwise. Please proofread yourself the next time.

  3. profile image0
    Pani Midnyte Odinposted 7 years ago

    The third paragraph needs some revision with how you structure your sentences and punctuation. There were a few sentences that really stuck out, to me, that need revision:

    REVISION (Possibility):
    Sometimes, they talk about an almost unknown celebrity they stalk and harass over the internet. They view Tina Barret, a former member of the band S-Club 7 (Trust me, I had no idea who she was either!), as the most voluptuous woman on earth... until they actually hear one of her songs.

    I think the biggest problem is that you use far too much punctuation and you write as if you are speaking, not as if you are writing. Also, a good idea may be to review your favorite episode of the podcast. Right now, the review is kind of all over the place and hard to follow. Otherwise, I think it is a great hub promoting a podcast that sounds thoroughly entertaining. smile

  4. John Kounoupis profile image60
    John Kounoupisposted 7 years ago

    Ok thanks for all the help guys, I tried to incorporate all your suggestions in it, thanks again.

 
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