Hello, review pls.....

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   chigoiykeposted 14 years ago

   I want a review of this hub about weight loss supplements. I need an exhaustive honest constructive review (don't mind me). Here is the link http://hubpages.com/hub/Best-weight-los … nts-online
   waiting.... waiting.....

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      AEvansposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I will check it out and I bet others will too! Here I go

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      Glenn Raymondposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You have put together a great concept with this one.  Your advertising layout seems good to me.  The only problems I noticed are within the body of your article.  The second sentence is a bit confusing.  I think you are trying to say to much with just one sentence and there are too many commas.  I would put, ".....have been made a primary concern."  Then start a new sentence with, "Individuals need to consciously maintain a healthy weight."  The next sentence would be less confusing if you added the word "being" between "that" and "overweight".  In the next sentence toss out the first "overweight" and replace it with "obesity" then get rid of that "but" so it would read like this, ".....of fighting obesity that being said,".  After "said," "people who are overweight can still get back....."  Thise are the only corrections I can see.  I think this is a great idea and with these few changes it should work well.  Cheers!  Glenn.

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         chigoiykeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         THANKS man for the advice. Good points raised. Thanks again

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   calpol25posted 14 years ago

   Hey Aevans xx

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      AEvansposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hello!

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   AEvansposted 14 years ago

   My review:
   
   1. There are to many supplements to choose from I would write individual hubs on different supplementals researching each one and providing the pros and cons.
   
   2. Re-arrange the first Amazon capsule you are splitting the hub and what it is about, there will be those who read it and do not read any farther so it appears as the hub is not complete.
   
   The content itself is interesting but research it a little more thoroughly selling each individual product tell us why you would recommend that we the consumer should purchase the product.
   
   Spelling is flawless and I didn't see any run-on sentences overall the hubs form was good.

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      chigoiykeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Hi Evans, you are such a wonderful person. Thanks for your checking in and your advice. I will really consider your suggestions. Thanks (although I recognize I took long to reply)

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         AEvansposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Hello,
         
         Don't worry sometimes it takes me a little time to reply to I believe you will make more profit if you write individually I am just looking out for your bottom line.

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            chigoiykeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            

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               AEvansposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               

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                  chigoiykeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Competition here??? I will never stop....

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   BDazzlerposted 14 years ago

   The Before and After pictures look photoshoped to me ... (even if they were not, they looked that way.)
   
   Also at first glance the layout does not look "approachable". It looked too busy to me.
   
   I'd recommend reading some of AEvan's advice hubs on what makes a "good" hub.

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      AEvansposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      You also have good insight I believe they will be happy with the critique.

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      chigoiykeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Okay, I guess that was the perfect picture I needed for the hub. Photoshoped or not photoshoped, I guess the most important lies with the massage the picture is relating and the body of the work and to a great extent, those were the things I needed. Thanks though for your airing your thoughts.

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   GeneriqueMediaposted 14 years ago

   I can't disagree with AEvans nor BDazzler.
   
   The first picture does look as if it's shopped, but most importantly to me I think it would be best to include more detail in your writing for all the products listed.
   
   It's a great start, but looking at it from a "casual reader" perspective it looks more like it's set up to sell something than to provide information.
   
   I think a happy medium can be sought.
   
   Good luck!

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      tobey100posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I have to agree with one point here.  It does sort of come across as an advertizement rather than a review but is that a problem?  Maybe yes, maybe no.  Good hub.

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      chigoiykeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Wow thanks for checking it out. I think I will create more time to properly start a review of these products one by one. It will be time consuming though but I understand what you mean. Thanks by the way. You guys made my day and am sorry for replying this late, I was kind of busy on something

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   chinweikeposted 14 years ago

   Just like someone has already pointed out, one may stop reading the hub after the first text capsule. The first amzon capsule should be moved to the right just like the second.
   Wonderfully written reviews. Keep it up.

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      chigoiykeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks man. BTW, you are doing nicely.. Am gonna consider that

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         chinweikeposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Thanks a lot for the encouragement.

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