Alright! My first hub!

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  1. JLoM10 profile image57
    JLoM10posted 8 years ago

    Okay I'm lookin' for some feedback hubbers.

    My first hub is here:

    Just moved over from Squidoo and I'm just getting used to the new content creation system you guys have here. I like it!

    Anyways, thanks for reading.

  2. travelespresso profile image81
    travelespressoposted 8 years ago

    Welcome.  I read your hub and I liked it a lot.   You wrote it with pace and I read it right to the end.  Good stuff!

  3. Aiden Roberts profile image79
    Aiden Robertsposted 8 years ago

    Hi I read your hub, from a reading point of view it looks great.
    Lots of information for budding game designers.
    Not really a gamer myself but great hub, well done.

  4. earnestshub profile image87
    earnestshubposted 8 years ago

    Good first hub. Welcome to hubpages, I think you have a great writing style. I know less than nothing about game design, so I have no idea of it's commercial potential. smile

  5. SteveoMc profile image73
    SteveoMcposted 8 years ago

    Nice style of writing. 

    There is no way I would sit still for 9 minutes of video though.  Average time on hubs is way, way less than that.

    Put your ads on the top right.  Drive-by readers will never see two capsules down.

    How about some links to those awesome on-line training opportunities?

    Is relied the right word here? 'like video game design that is heavily relied on deadlines and reputation.'

    Your writing is so good, you need to fix typos and spelling as they distract from the neat product:  'page that are extraodinary reads that'

    Wrong principle:
    'the principals of the job'

    A little sloppy at the end, with fragments and conjunctions in the wrong place:
    'Additionally, online degrees in video game design cost less than tuition at a state university. Which was good. Because I didn't have a lot of cash to put up for education nor could I take time away from my full time job to attend the university.'

    You sir, are a very creative writer.  You give that feeling to the reader that you are a neat person, it comes through in so many ways.   Your writing is really good, but you have a couple of paragraphs that appear sloppy compared to the rest of your writing.

    1. Marisa Wright profile image98
      Marisa Wrightposted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Steve, a long video is a good thing.  Sure, visitors won't stick around to watch the whole thing but why is that a problem?  The longer a visitor stays on your Hub, the better Google thinks it is - so if there's the slightest chance a reader might stick around for the whole clip, then that's great.

      Links to the awesome on-line training opportunities - yes, if he's going to earn money from them.  Otherwise links would be an invitation for readers to leave without clicking on an ad.

      The word is reliant. And I agree about the spelling/typos.

      1. JLoM10 profile image57
        JLoM10posted 8 years agoin reply to this

        *slaps forehead* Reliant!

  6. rebekahELLE profile image87
    rebekahELLEposted 8 years ago

    looks good. great first hub!

    I think the videos are great. if someone is looking for info on being a designer, they're going to watch the videos! they're looking for information.

    welcome to HP, I'm sure you'll like it here.

  7. profile image0
    Nelle Hoxieposted 8 years ago

    I loved your hub. I read every word of it and watched all of the videos. It was compelling and interesting. I think anyone who wants a career in game design will love it.

    Welcome to HP.

  8. SteveoMc profile image73
    SteveoMcposted 8 years ago

    Marisa, thanks for the corrections.   I do not wish to present myself as an expert.  I am far from that. 

    I would never watch nine minutes of video, but if someone was intently interested, they probably would.  I never even thought of that. 

    As I said before, the writing is an excellent style, I look forward to reading more.  I still think that JLoM10 needs to be mindful of making the quality the same all the way through since he is so capable.   

    I guess I didn't see the links to outside sources the right way.  You are right of course. 

    Now let's see if I can get this right.  Hope the feedback is healthy.

    1. JLoM10 profile image57
      JLoM10posted 8 years agoin reply to this

      Hey guys! I really appreciate the warm welcome.

      SteveoMc, thanks for the compliments and criticism, buddy.

      Honestly, I'm too friggin' tired to correct them right now.

      First thing tomorrow!

      Thanks again everyone!


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