This is technically, my second attempt at a sales hub and could use a little criticism. I wrote one once before and then deleted it because I didn't like the final result.
However, this one I wrote for the 60 Day Challenge. So, let me know...
http://hubpages.com/hub/Womens-Boston-R … ssa-Milano
Are you sure this isn't just another sales tactic?
Just giving you some sh!t.
Looks fine! I like your opening statement. Add placement looks fine ,too.
And, I'm sure you would enjoy it too. Then again, I might enjoy it if you hit me.
don't mind, i have no worth to comment about your hub, you are a great hubber and one of them who inspires me. still i think you could use some of my tips. i better give you an example on setting amazon capsules more attractively.I liked this hub by graham alison.
http://hubpages.com/_1xi1g1a8xrx3z/hub/ … -Your-Life
I appreciate your kind words. However, you should know it is bad form to use "trackers" in the forums? If not, then you do now.
i didn't really know, but how could I post the link.
oh ho, yes i see now . thnx for the telling me. i dont want to do anything harmful for my reputation.
You're welcome. If you have the link to the hub, I'll take it.
Hey Cags! You're really getting the hang of this sales stuff!
First, I always try to give a range of prices. Maybe there just isn't a huge range in the prices in these items, I don't know. But if I were selling toothbrushes, let's say, I would have a basic toothbrush, a medium-priced one and then a fancy schmancy one.
Second thing that hit me (and I'm not as on top of this as I should be all the time, but trying) is your use of passive voice. That should be a no-no when you're trying to sell something. You need to be the authority, not the wishy washy one.
"Alyssa Milano was inspired by her mom..." would become "Alyssa Milano's mom inspired her to..."
"You can also get jackets and hoodies..." would become "Choose from a range of jackets and hoodies..."
"You can mix and match your attire..." would become "Mix and match your attire..."
But regardless, it looks like you're well on your way.
It's only my second sales hub, so I am new to doing these things. I appreciate your comment and suggestions. As for the pricing, there really isn't much of a difference for pricing when it comes to the apparel line. That's why I have some additional accessories at the end.
Thank you very much. I love your suggestions. I'm not much of a sales person, even though, I could do sales in person. It's a lot different to write what needs to be said.
I'm not sure what that means. You'll need to explain?
Just a little poke at the wording of your OP.
Your Hub is well written however from what I have experienced My sales hubs that I have been able to add a more personal spin to do better, but that is just my personal experience and may not be the case for everyone.
I'll leave it the way it is for now and see what happens. The personal appeal might work, but like I said in the OP, it's technically my second sales hub, so I am new to it.
I appreciate your advice and Thank you very much.
Totally agreed, Cags. You need to find out what works for you, as we all have our own writing/selling style.
Piece of advice--watch your Amazon conversion rate. If you're in the 5% to 10% conversion range, you're doing what I think is pretty average. If you don't at least hit the 5% conversion mark, then you might want to try a different tactic. If you do, then you're doing it right.
I made the couple of adjustments. I did take one of your suggestion, but went with something different, with regards to your second suggestion.
Does it sound better?
Yes. WAY better.
Just take out the "by" in the first sentence. You might also want to fix the "You can choose from a wide range of jackets and hoodies..." in the third paragraph, and the "You can order..." in the 3/4 sleeve section.
Passive voice has its place in writing. But it's really, really important in sales to try to avoid it whenever possible. That and choosing keywords are probably the two toughest things I find with sales hubs, to be honest.
I am still learning how to sell things too, Cags! I don't think I have the nerve to try and sell stuff to the ladies, though! I mean other than my usual line of BS, of course! Ironer's advice sounds good to me! Assert yourself, like you do in the forums!
For the most part I like it, Cags. Only a couple of thoughts:
I found the first sentence hard to follow - you might re-read it aloud to yourself, or maybe it's just me.
The spread of the Amazon capsules don't match the text all that well. Maybe use several Amazon capsules instead of one per text capsule? That would spread them out a little and put the item closer to the text about it.
Hitting you Cags *thwap*
But I also liked your hub and commented waaaaay over on your hub.
It looks good to me. I think you did a pretty good job of displaying the items. I am in the business of building retail displays. It has all the ingredients of a good display.
You have tweaked this hub alot that I can see now and I am suggesting one more small tweak.
In the top text module where you have written;
You'll find a wide assortment of apparel, such as Tops, 3/4 Long Sleeve or Full Length Sleeve and Short Sleeve Tops, you'll find affordable and comfortable
May I suggest changing these two words you'll find, in the sentence you'll find affordable and comfortable to something different. This removes the repeat of two words in the same sentence.
Nice work on the rest of the hub as well, only the second sales hub you have made? I would not have thought so if you did not mention it.
Thank you Jase. I made an adjustment.
How does it look now?
lrohner made a good suggestion about using the active voice.
I'll have to admit that I did not recognize the name of the celebrity you started with-- but that's just me.
Also when you said 'teams' I didn't recognize it as sports teams. --but that is just me again, a person who would not be searching for these things, anyway.
Overall, I think you did a good job.
Thank you very much Rochelle. I'm grateful for your post and review of my hub. Even, though, it's not up your alley.
cags, it looks good and I like the headings, your descriptions are nice. if I myself was searching for this line, my only concern would be there are no images other than the small images. I would probably keep searching to find a page with images I can enlarge first. then if I like it, I'll click the amazon ad. just sharing how I shop. I've even started changing my search habits to include an image with the description. I know everyone says to keep that section blank on top, but I like to see an image, not a bunch of ads. I want to see what it looks like. just sharing how I search online.
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