Bannanaism - do you worship?

1. 61

   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Marrowism is indeed a cult - I have heard that people have become addicted to big Marrows

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   1. 71

      earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Marrow marrow on the wall
      Who is finest of them all!
      
      Sorry that should have been mirror.

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2. 61

   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Your comments are mirrored by reality

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   1. 71

      earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I grew a really big mirror once!

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3. 71

   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   I used to be Marrowed. Then I got divorced.

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4. 71

   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   "Marrowly marrowly marrowly marrowly life is but a dream"

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5. 71

   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   I'm looking forward to tomarrow!

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6. 71

   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   OK no white coats.    I feel better now.

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   1. 96

      CMHypnoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Earnest you will feel better when you truly acknowledge your inner vegetable and deeply accept yourself leaves and all!

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7. 61

   theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

   Hail the marrow

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8. 71

   earnestshubposted 14 years ago

   The people commenting on this hub are very marrow ninded!

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   1. 96

      CMHypnoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Expand your marrow and all will be well

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9. 0

   Kathryn LJposted 14 years ago

   But the path of the marrow is a hard one and many fall from the stem; to reside forever on the eternal damnation that is - the compost heap.

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10. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Do Not Yeild to the Marrow

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11. 60

    Alotaposted 14 years ago

    I have often worshipped the banana

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    1. 82

       camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Bananaism is just one of those silly fad religions, or sects, to be more accurate.
       It's entire concept is slippery and pulpy, and as banana as it sounds. Added to this, it is designed to bend the mind. Don't fall for it.
       Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
       
       

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       1. 96

          CMHypnoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          You protest too much, especially as you secretly know in your heart that the Great Queensland Banana is the one, true fruit! Cast your false cucumber aside and embrace the great banana, and you to can ascend to the top of the banana tree

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          1. 81

             mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

             this I gotta see!

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             1. 96

                CMHypnoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                You can't ascend until you too embrace the Great Banana, Mega! The rites of the Great Banana are not for unbeliever's eyes, but just send your bank details, address, DOB and passwords to POBox VIEW-BANANA, and you will be sent the explicit DVD by return of post!

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                1. 82

                   camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   I just knew it!
                   All you bananaists are the same. It's more than slippery, and more bent than a hair grip!
                   
                   Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                   
                   

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             2. 82

                camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Mega, don't do it!
                You don't really want to ascend to the top of the banana tree, and you won't anyway - only your hand will descend through a deep hole in your pocket.
                Everything you seek is in the Cucumber, and it's free!
                Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                
                

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          2. 82

             camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             I do not protest, and how dare you accuse me of such!
             I simply wish to save innocent souls the perils of bananaism.
             And the Queensland banana is just a bigger mass/mess of mind bending pulp and slipperiness than the rest of them!
             Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
             
             

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             1. 0

                Kathryn LJposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                I've pickled 15 large kilner jars with the succulent vinegary goodness that is the gerkin.  I have lovingly preserved them at the hight of their potency so that the inner gerkin in me can be topped up throughout the year. Slurp - yum!

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                1. 82

                   camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   Have you not read The Marron, the written word of Marrow?
                   Pickling the Gherkin is a dire act of cruelty and forbidden. You can top up your inner Gherkin at any time of the year with fresh produce from hot houses.
                   Besides, most Cucumberists have sufficient inner Gourd without having to top up with Gherkin. Have you sought your inner Gourd?
                   
                   Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                   
                   

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                   1. 0

                      Kathryn LJposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      But when the cold wind blows, all the gerkins die.  This way I can preserve their youth and vigour until after Boxing days' cold meat and pickle course.  We become one over Turkey, mashed potato and marrow chutney.  It's a truly religious experience.

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                      1. 82

                         camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                         I cannot stress enough the importance of reading The Marron and seeking your inner Gourd. When you have done this, you will find charity for your victims, repent for your evil actions, and receive mercy from Marrow. Marrow is very forgiving, you know.
                         I am now going to the Botanical Gardens for Sunday evening worship. I will pray for you.
                         Let Marrow be your guidence.
                         
                         Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                         
                         

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             2. 96

                CMHypnoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                The great banana will mash your cucumber to pulp, he will smite you into a wet patch and take dominion over your greenhouse.
                
                Ye cucumberists have been warned of the power of the Great Banana, as he renders you one cucumber sandwich short of a picnic!

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                1. 82

                   camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   If you do that, you'll have the Almighty Marrow to answer to!
                   
                   Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                   
                   

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                   1. 96

                      CMHypnoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      The Almighty Marrow is merely the servant of the Great Banana, and not fit to peel his skin off.
                      
                      One look from the Great Banana and the Almighty Marrow would shrivel and boil in his own juices,
                      
                      Recant from your heresy and embrace the Great Banana while ye still can!  Ascend the banana tree and all your leaf mould will be forgiven!

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                      1. 82

                         camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                         Such misconceptions, and so typical of you banana people.
                         
                         It's quite the reverse, actually; the Almighty Marrow really is All Mighty; over the 'great' banana, too, and in particular.
                         Only Marrow has the power to forgive - read your Marron and you'd know!
                         
                         Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                         
                         

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                         1. 96

                            CMHypnoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                            The Great Banana sways high in the banana tree in the sun, while the not so mighty marrow lies in the dirt at her feet.
                            
                            Grovel where ye belong marrowists - mush is your fate when the Great Banana splats on you from a great height!

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                            1. 82

                               camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                               Well, you know what they say: The higher they get, the further they have to fall. And the more your 'great' bananas 'splat' (on whatever they like), the less of them there are - and all the better!
                               
                               Almighty Marrow, who lies in rich soil, is the only truly down to earth God.
                               
                               And a correction - there is no such thing as a 'Marrowist'. Marrow, God of Cucumberism, is worshipped through Cucumber, hence Cucumberism.
                               
                               Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                               
                               

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    2. 59

       logic,commonsenseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I'm guessing that's right!

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12. 68

    lrohnerposted 14 years ago

    IT'S A MIRACLE!
    
    

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    1. 0

       Kathryn LJposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       A banana that looks like Ozzy Osbourne!

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       1. 82

          camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Yes, but even if it looks like Ozzy Osbourne, bananas (like tomatoes) can't sing, whereas Cucumbers can.
          
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZjhjvLO4f4
          
          Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
          
          

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    2. 71

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       That's my Uncle Jed!

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13. 68

    lrohnerposted 14 years ago

    Yes they can. Bananas can not only sing--they can dance too.
    
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDlQm5jFL50
    
    Cucumberism is nothing more than a cult.

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    1. 82

       camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Your video is just an animated photo, which doesn't prove anything.
       Even if Cucumberism were just a cult, which it isn't, it's better than being a scam, which is what your bananaism is!
       
       Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
       
       

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          Kathryn LJposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Ok, I am willing to believe that cucumbers can sing - but what is their genre? Heavy burping?  Burp funk? Classical burp?  Mowburp?  Country and Burp?  More details please!

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          1. 82

             camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Ask yourself, Kathryn, what is it that makes the Cucumber so very special? The Cucumber is everything, and can, accordingly, do everything.
             Not only does the Cucumber cover all the genres you mention, but all genres.
             You can see and hear for yourself. Just contact the IAC (International Association of Cucumberism) in your area to obtain a free DVD of this year's Cucumber Royal Variety Show performed live before the Queen at the Royal Botanical Gardens in Cue. I was there, and it was amazing!
             BTW, although not public knowledge, the Queen is also a Cucumberist, and would like to sway the C of E in the direction of Cucumberism.
             
             Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
             
             

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             EmpressFelicityposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Oh, definitely classical.  In the brass section of the orchestra. 
             
             
             

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             1. 82

                camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Doesn't it just go to show how versatile and ingenious the Cucumber is, High Priestess?
                Thank you for posting this magnificent image to illustrate the Cucumber's ingenuity - an example to us all.

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                   EmpressFelicityposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   You're welcome - any time

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14. 81

    mega1posted 14 years ago

    But when all is said and done and the great peach priestess calls us home - its all compost - depressing isn't it?  However, if the compost is mixed right next year we'll have some spectacular eggplants! 
    
    Meanwhile, the great peach's tree sheds her leaves, rests for awhile and then comes back - forever - and ever leafy and full, with blossoms and then luscious fruit.  You cucumbers are mere annuals - a seedy bunch who get only one short season.  While the peach lives on and on and with care, will outlive our grandchildren!  she is not a seedy, annual vine, but a magnificent, shady fortress who provides many future generations with orchards and plentitude.
    
    Bow down, lowly vegetables!  Bow down!

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    1. 71

       earnestshubposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       I just knew the fruit trees would speak out.
       Noisy flamin fruit!

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    2. 82

       camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You just wait, Mega1!
       When the Queen has finally replaced the C of E with Cucumberism and made our High Priestess Britain's Spiritual Head, EmpressFelicity will be Empress and High Priestess of the United Kingdom of Great Britain, Northern Ireland and the British Commomwealth. She will have real power, and neither she nor I will forget what you have just said.
       Peachism! It doesn't get nuttier than that!
       I will pray for you when I go for evening service at the Botanical Gardens tomarrow.
       
       Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
       
       

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       1. 81

          mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          should that happen, I will happily peel, scrape and grate cucumbers for my salad!

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          1. 82

             camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             When that happens, such activities will be punished by imprisonment.
             
             BTW, I've heard they plan to fell all peach trees when it happens. What will you do then, Mega?
             
             Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
             
             

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                EmpressFelicityposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Oooh yeah, forgot about that.  My mistake.

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                1. 82

                   camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   Good to see it happens to the best of us, High Priestess. These peachists confuse us all.
                   
                   Cucumberism is the Only Way.
                   
                   

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                   1. 81

                      mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      cucumberists are all simple minded and easily confused.  I'm sorry, but its the truth.  and do you notice its mainly men that are so convinced by the phallic veggies and fruits?  just a thought! 

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                      1. 82

                         camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                         That was a sexist remark! But what else could we expect from a peach person?
                         
                         BTW, it was a private conversation between the High Priestess and I, and no concern of yours! And as for 'truth', you as a 'peachist' have absolutely no idea what the word 'truth' means!
                         
                         Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                         
                         

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                   2. 66

                      Joy56posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      I'll have a slice of that, or maybe two

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          2. 0

             EmpressFelicityposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             It's a deal!
             
             

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15. 71

    earnestshubposted 14 years ago

    When will all the vegetables of the world stop this mindless slaughter!

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    1. 82

       camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Blame the peachists!
       
       Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
       
       

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16. 59

    logic,commonsenseposted 14 years ago

    Whoops there goes another rubber tree.........................

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17. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Today I seen an Apple fall to the ground - thats why I worship the banana

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18. 83

    Pcunixposted 14 years ago

    Fools.
    
    The Invisible Pink Unicorn is the Creator of All.  She who shat so that you will not have to defecate  in Heaven, and from that Holy Offering sprang forth all things.   
    
    In your final days, you will hear Her inaudible Hoofbeats coming to judge you.  Watch what She does to your Bananas and Cucumbers then!   She will rip them from your dying hands and offer you one final chance to accept Pineapple and Ham as The One True Pizza.   Refuse Her and you will crawl on your belly in the Mines of Misery forevermore, while I ride my glorious Camel Beast in Heaven.

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    1. 81

       mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

       geez, I really, really want a pic of that!

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       1. 83

          Pcunixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Me too.  Waynet could do it justice, I think

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    2. 82

       camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       This is a myth.
       
       Gourds are real
       
       Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
       
       

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       1. 83

          Pcunixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          I can live for months on ONLY pineapple and hsm pizza.
          
          How long will you last on cucumbers?

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          1. 82

             camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             If you'd read your Marron, you'd realise a Cucumberist would never, ever actually eat the Cucumber.
             
             Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
             
             

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             1. 83

                Pcunixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                Odd.. The Christians eat their god.. I thought it was a part of all religions.

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                   camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                   That, Pcunix, is where Cucumberism is so very different. But it really is time you got yourself The Marron, available free from the IAC (International Association of Cucumberism). The Cucumber is not our God, but one of God's little 'helpers', in much the same way as Zucchini, Gourd and the Great Pumpkin are. God is Marrow. Marrow's written word - The Marron - tells us that only the Great Pumpkin can be eaten, and jewelery made from its seeds. We Cucumberists always wear Great Pumpkin seed jewelery as a symbol of our denomination. You see, the Great Pumpkin actually offered its services in this way as a self-sacrificial gift to Marrow in 101 AC (after Cucumber (this referring to the first of all Cucumbers born to the Marrow Marrion in Cucumberland, later Cumberland, now Cumbria in Britain's Lake District)).
                   You have so much to learn, Pcunix.
                   
                   Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                   
                   

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                   1. 83

                      Pcunixposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                      You are confused.  The origin of wearing pumpkins comes from the Slaughter of the Lesser Trolls,  where  we joyfully smash pumpkins with our wooden bats. 
                      
                      Now, I do not subscribe to the fanatic beliefs concerning North Sleeping Trolls and South Sleeping Trolls. Trolls are quite invisible, as we all know, so who knows which way their Holy Beards are pointing? The Ancient Texts seem confused on this, sometimes seeming to be even contradictory. Perhaps Trolls do not care which way they sleep at all, but even if it is important, I am certain that no Troll would approve of the senseless bloodshed and horrible persecution that Northern Beards have suffered throughout history. The Ancient Texts tell us that the Great Trolls love all of us, and I simply cannot believe that having a different idea about the direction of their beards would change that. I am appalled and disgusted that such primitive religious thought exists in this modern age.
                      
                      But of course I enjoy smashing pumpkins on the Holy Days, just as my ancestors did.

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19. 81

    mega1posted 14 years ago

    BURP!

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    1. 82

       camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       How dare you burp on a public forum!
       
       But what else can we expect from a peach person?
       
       Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
       
       

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20. 81

    mega1posted 14 years ago

    now you sound just like my mom, camlo! 

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    1. 82

       camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       She's a Cucumberist?

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       1. 81

          mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          oh, sure, but she'll never admit it!  She is afraid of what people will think!  Everyone else in our family reviles the lowly veggies!  sorry.  I'm trying to be more open-minded about you cucumberists,   Oh!  that word!  still can't get my tongue around it!

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21. 0

    Kathryn LJposted 14 years ago

    I thinking of converting to cucumberism but I have a morbid fear of the colour green.  Any suggestions?

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    1. 82

       camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       You can seek therapy at the IAC (International Association of Cucumberism). It's free, and green will become your favourite colour. Try it!
       
       Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
       
       

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22. 60

    SomewayOuttaHereposted 14 years ago

    ...some of us worship herbs...
    
    ...our group gets together for a daily ritual....we review HalfBaked Psalm 20 over and over until we get it right.....
    
    
    
    
    
    ...pleased to meet you...hope you guess my name....

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    1. 0

       Kathryn LJposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Well lets face it, certain 'herbs' can make a coffee table seem profound and yet hilarious, so I am surprised that more religions of the vegetable persuasion do not use them as part of their rituals.  Pleased to meet you too but I'm not very good at guessing.

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23. 81

    mega1posted 14 years ago

    if I'm hungry enough I'll eat just about anything!  cucumbers are not my favorites

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    1. 96

       CMHypnoposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       Except the Great Banana, who will not be eaten.
       
       Why are you all turning away from Bananaism? Why all this mention of lesser fruits and vegetables?
       
       Turn away from your false idols, or you will be frittered for eternity, your cucumber slices pickled in perpetuity and your peach stones spat into the next universe!!!!

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       1. 82

          camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

          Well, I find banana fritters are best made with the Queensland great banana - I've just polished off three platefuls. Delicious! I eat them all the time.
          And peaches.
          
          Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
          
          

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          1. 0

             Kathryn LJposted 14 years agoin reply to this

             Well banana's give me wind, so I think I will just stick with the cucumber,

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             1. 82

                camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                You have heard about new laws to come into effect? Eating Cucumbers could land you in prison - see previous posts.
                
                Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
                
                

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24. 81

    mega1posted 14 years ago

    its fine to eat peaches - its like a sacrament or something.  I don't stop eating things just because I worship them! 
    
    
    uh oh.  what did I just say?

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    1. 82

       camloposted 14 years agoin reply to this

       In another thread you admit to eating sock puppets.
       
       Cucumberism is the Only Truth.
       
       

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       1. 81

          mega1posted 14 years agoin reply to this

          and in another thread I said I could not be responsible for anything I say!  so that lets me off the hook!  everyone knows I'm not responsible for the bullmalarkey and bushwah I say, not to mention the baalderwash   - hogwash? and don't make a big hoopla out of it - just ignore me like everyone else does.
          
          
          sob.

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25. 81

    mega1posted 14 years ago

    also I am the mighty Um's sister, from South Umberland!

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26. 61

    milesofjazzposted 14 years ago

    I slice bananas nice and this, put a dash of sugar on them, then throw them in the trash because they are absolutely disgusting. Ick.

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27. 61

    theirishobserver.posted 14 years ago

    Hail the banana - cast out false profets

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