Bannanaism - do you worship?

1. 60

   theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

   Bannanaism is the religion of inner fruit - what do you do with your bannana?

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      CMHypnoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      What do you do with yours, Irish? A lady never tells.

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      Medora Trevilianposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I spell it correctly.

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   mikelongposted 13 years ago

   

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   CkhoffmanKposted 13 years ago

   rofl.
   
   
   I worship the flying spaghetti monster....but i do like bananas

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4. 60

   theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

   Thank you for all thsoe wonderful comments - I say worship your banana and nobody will be able to tell you that what you are doing is wrong - the religion of bananaism is open to all people and treats all people equal - before you ask - Yes - women can be Ministers within the Church of bananaism and if you want to cover your face with a veil that is your business

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   alternate poetposted 13 years ago

   yes - but what sect are you ???  are the long curved or the little short dumpy ones ??
   
   I am the medium straight sect and I tell you straight that I will not tolerate your bendiness that is against the holy banana babble that is the word of banana GOD because I say so !!!!

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      dostersposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      As long as you are not a plantainist.  Those guys are bastards.

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6. 52

   ocbillposted 13 years ago

   the ends go in the trash, the majority goes in the blender with iced milk.

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   theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

   alternate poet - I live in Europe - we have very clear rules about the size and shape of Bananas - I worship the slight bend rather than the more exaggerated bend - so I could be said to be of the mild bend sect - medium sized and wonderfully yellow

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      alternate poetposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Ah - says a lot about you !!    straight bananas are a desecration of nature brought about by the temple of sainsbury who required that they sit in their pews more closely so they can get more profit in.
      
      And anyway them bananas don't make a real hand, they come in sevens, a devils number if ever !
      
      and what kind of a woos would worship a peach !!
      
      And you need to go back to your books Dutch !  everyone knows that pineapples were only cubes, never a sect.  .

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   theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

   Hail the banana

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   wildernessposted 13 years ago

   Stop, you guys!  I can't stand it! 

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    I cannot find anything of worth in your banana dogma!  It is empty of thought or love.  My inner peach has the whole mystery and completes me!  The peach is love.  Follow the peach and you will no longer suffer and your heart will find peace.  The peach IS peace!  plus it is way juicier than your banana!

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       camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Have you sought the Gourd inside of you? Only this will bring absoluteness.

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          mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          cucumberism?  too hard to pronounce - I can't get my tongue around it!  and if I had a gourd inside me I would look like a pregnant slut!  No.  I must stay faithful to the doctrine of the holy peach, the goddess peach fulfills me and will ever be my guide and angel through this perilous life.  may the peach abide within and peace I shall find as a contemplate her juicy peach flesh. 
          
          do you know of any all night produce stands?  geez I'm hungry!

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             DoorMattnomoreposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             ha ha ha cant get your tounge around it......
             
             
             this is without a doubt my new favourite thread.....

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    dutchman1951posted 13 years ago

    This is not going to go well with the Pineapple Sect!
    Not to mention the GOTP- The Grand Ole Tomatto Party

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    theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

    Alternate - you have entered the temple of the slightly bent banana and you have kicked over the tables of those of us who trade with the slightly bending banana in the temple of bananaism - let yee take up your bed and walk

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    the banana jahaadists have really wrecked the world - give yourself (and your money) to the House of the Peach wherefrom doth come all rest, peace and plenitude!  Those bananas make me sick with their platitudes - everyone knows that there is no justice from a banana life.  Better they should stick to their smoothies!

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       skyfireposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       LOL

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    mythbusterposted 13 years ago

    plantain sect here.
    
    lol

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    just don't even talk to those nectarine people - they are awfully slick!

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    CMHypnoposted 13 years ago

    Only bananas from Queensland can communicate directly with the deity, all the other bananas are just going to be fried as fritters for all eternity

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    I don't know what your banana god thinks about people who don't believe in him, but I know that the peach goddess is very sad when she hears that people don't believe in her, and she has been going to therapy with a fairy who knows all about how to get people to really believe - and believe me, it takes a lot more than some hand clapping!

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    camloposted 13 years ago

    I was, many years ago, a devout follower of Bananaism, but once I was told of how this religion is designed to bend our minds, I switched to Cucumberism. The God of Cucumberism is called Marrow, and has many angels called Zucchini.
    Bananaism is just crazy, but Cucumberism is THE TRUTH.
    Bananaists actually eat bananas. A Cucumberist would never, ever eat the holy Cucumber.

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    Smart Rookieposted 13 years ago

    I never knew Bananaism had such appeal.

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       camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       It did, but more and more people are realising how banana Bananaism actually is. Bananas don't even have seeds - how boring is that?
       We Cucumberists decorate our bodies with jewelery made from seeds of the Holy Pumpkin (closely related to Marrow), and our homes with colourful Holy Gourds in praise of the Holy Cucumber and Marrow.

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          EmpressFelicityposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          It's the Great Pumpkin, actually. 
          
          
          
          I mean, sheesh.  Don't you people know anything? 
          
          
          

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             camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             EmpressFelicity - High Priestess of Cucumberism. Sorry, I forgot. It was in 251 AC (After Cucumber) that the written word of Marrow forbade us to refer to the Holy Pumpkin. It is, indeed, the Great Pumpkin.

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                EmpressFelicityposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Apology accepted.
                
                "High Priestess of Cucumberism".  Me like

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                Kathryn LJposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                I thought it was a sin to name that holy fruit which is both large, orange and full of seeds.  The fruit or vegetable depending on your denomination ( the great schism of 1502 divided the followers of the aforementioned all seeing orange entity,) has henceforth been referred to as the Great Seed Container on pain of being turned into a pillar of slugs.

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                   earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Not that old pillar of slugs story!

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                      Kathryn LJposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      I see the silvery trail of sin be upon you.

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                         earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                         my usual response to sluggists!

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    klarawieckposted 13 years ago

    Ask O.J.

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21. 60

    saleheensblogposted 13 years ago

    never heard of bananaism, i only know how to eat it and make a trap to get other people slipped.

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    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    Sorry, I am of the Pawpaw path.

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23. 61

    katiem2posted 13 years ago

    I eat it, cook with it, smoothie it, and make killer pancakes and bread... and then I met a blue berry and have been overwhelmed with berrism, I've never looked back

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    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    bleh, blueberries suck. now huckleberries, that's a berry.

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25. 61

    katiem2posted 13 years ago

    I wouldn't know I've never hucked a berry

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    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    well then, let's huck.

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       katiem2posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       lmao...your not always that quick are ya???

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    camloposted 13 years ago

    With only a pip, berries are nearly as boring as bananas. I mean, how many berries do you need until you have enough pips to make a whole necklace? A lot - right?
    In Cucumberism, you only need one Pumpkin to make earrings, a necklace, a few bracelets, a belly chain, and ankle chains.
    Cucumberism IS the way.

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    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    I burp at your cucmberism and will huck away with berries.

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       camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       As a Cucumberist, I'd never eat a Holy Cucumber, therefore I can't know if it would make me burp.
       I eat berries all the time.
       And bananas.

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       camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       And the day will come when you will regret burping at the Holy Cucumber. It is in the written word of Marrow.

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       camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       BTW, hucking away with berries is immoral according to the written word of Marrow.

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    ralwusposted 13 years ago

    Hahaha well, huck your cucumberisim!

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30. 69

    alternate poetposted 13 years ago

    You realise you are all going to blend in smoothie hell don't you !  and just to reinforce this message I am going to BURN your cookbooks !
    BANANA BANANA BANANA the only true way with spiritual sh@t thrown in.

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    theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

    As a worshipper of the great Banana and the religion of bananaism - I slipped up when I dropped the outer core of my banana Just be aware that bananaism has its faults and I dont want to give the view that bananaism wont leave you flat on your back

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       mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       yes, I'm glad you admit it and now that you see the lack of substance and your bananaism is just an empty husk - perhaps you will consider the peach, the peach goddess can fill that emptiness inside!

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          camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Well, I really don't see where the substance in Peachism is.
          I once searched for my inner Peach, and found only a stone that made me feel very poorly.
          Find the Gourd in yourself!
          Open yourself to Cucumberism!

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    Greek Oneposted 13 years ago

    I wouldn't go so far as to say I worshiped them, but I did think they were kinda cute
    
    

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    iantoPFposted 13 years ago

    All we are saying is.....give peas a chance.

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       camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I did once give peas a chance, but a Holy Zucchini came to me and said, 'When thou shalt giveth peas a chance, thou shalt be led into the perilous depths of solanaceous dungeons.'
       So please, never give peas a chance.

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       china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       I heard that hymn - it mentions masturbation - oops, I said masturbation !

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    theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

    I ma hearing the case for peas - can we take peaism seriously - surely those who have previously worshipped peaism - found that they could easily slip into podism - two peas in one pod - where do we go

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    camloposted 13 years ago

    Peaism! Peas are a legume. How can you worship a legume? Besides, masturbation is a sin according to the written word of Marrow, and I don't want to be sent to the potatoes.
    I'm sticking to Cucumberism.

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    logic,commonsenseposted 13 years ago

    It would be best if earnest did not hear of this religion!  It would probably send him over the edge!

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       CMHypnoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Isn't Earnest secretly an artichoke worshipper?  The sickest cult of them all!!!!!

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          EmpressFelicityposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Which branch of that disgraceful cult are we talking about here... Jerusalem or Globe?  Not Globe, I hope!  {{{{{shudder}}}}}

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             CMHypnoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             Hush! (whispers) yes, I heard Globe! Can you believe it?
             
             Of course, you can never always trust that what you see is what you get, but if you look closely, the base of his fingernails are green.  This is the mark of the initiated elite of the Cult of the Globe Artichoke.
             
             Now you know, Earnest has been unveiled!!!!

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                earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                It aint so I tells ya!!!!!!!!!!!!
                
                OK I protested a bit much there and gave the game away. Damn!
                
                I do admit to artichokery but not the globe!!!!!!!!
                
                OK I may have showed my hand a little there too, so lets just admit that global globe artichokery is the one true way OK?
                
                And yes logic, I used to be a hard core bananarist, but those Queenslanders bending em drove me crazy so I switched.
                That's how it goes. ever growing.

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                   CMHypnoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Head of the Globe cult - time to come clean, write the book, set up the website, set up the TV channel, make millions and live in fear of those other artichokists that you have betrayed!

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                      earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      They've already threatened to burn my book!

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    earnestshubposted 13 years ago

    The spam has been smote mightily.

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    china manposted 13 years ago

    Why are you descrating the mighty spam ?  it is a higher deity than any veg that was once worshipped by stone age man !!  Spam in its pinkiness that emulates human flesh with that same slimy feel of a sweaty crotch and a sickly sweet back taste of a weed dead drunk.
    
    All hail the mighty spam !!

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       earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       The spam man cometh, uninvited to our little globe.
       I'd like to smirl his wogglies and smite his tiny probe.
       I'd like to see his face all furrowed in a frown.
       
       Damn it all!
       
       I hope his chooks turn into emus and kick his dunny down!

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          EmpressFelicityposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          That's fab!  Did you just make it up?
          
          You might be an acolyte of the cursed Globe, but you're also an outstanding poet

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39. 91

    habeeposted 13 years ago

    All of you guys are infidels! Mangoism is the only true fruligion!
    
    May you all be blighted by 10,000 fruit flies!

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    theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

    Mangoism - is a false religion as it promotes Mango Manogomy

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    the peach taught the mango everything it knows!

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       CMHypnoposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       But every peach bows to the almighty nectarine?

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          mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          nectarines are slick tricksters that masquerade as peaches and have tried to usurp the peach's position at the top of the fruit pyramid!  Never listen to those nectarines - once they get you in their slimey clutches they will convince you that their nudity is a good thing - while we all KNOW that without the peach's robe of fuzz they are a poor substitute for goodness and sweet righteousness.  AMEN!

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             camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             How can you condone the wearing of fur?
             This is a major sin in the written word of Marrow, God of Cucumberism and the Only Truth.

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                mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                I thought we had already established that the cucumber and the peach cannot even hang out in the same part of the garden!  Our ways are too different - they cannot and will not mingle or even converse.  So what is right for the cucumber is definitely wrong for the peach - and besides, peach fur is technically not fur - it is FUZZ!

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                   camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Fuzz - fur; same thing ...

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    theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

    Mega1 - Mangoism - I am sick of it - Bananaism has been around for thousands of years and has never caused war or conflict - OK - there was the Banana Milk Shake incident - but generally there has been no violence related to Bananaism

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       mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       the goddess peach made her peace with the banana cult long ago, and while she does not adhere to the principals of bananaism, and especially the banana's chauvinistic attitude toward fruits with pits - she does not make jahaad against them OR their peels.  However, the mango, another slick imitator like the nectarine shall never reach the peach nirvana!  And all mangoists and nectarinaistas shall forever be reviled!  The great peach has spoken.  Since the cucumber and the pumpkin and other mundane squashes are VEGETABLES we peachists do not even consider them in the same garden!  The peach comes from a venerable TREE! 
       
       FURTHER, it has been gossipped about that there was at one time a rift between the yellow and the white peaches.  Specifically, there was a debate about the relative sweetness or flavorfulness - some saying the white peaches, while sweet, were not as flavorful as the noble yellow.  That debate has died since most are happy with either and no longer try to separate them, there are even some hybrid (mixed marriage) peaches which can contribute the sweet and flavorful attributes of both sects.  We are happy to welcome all peaches - size is definitely not an issue!  Peace, peachy peace, to you and your banana heads!

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          camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          And any Cucumberist would tell you the peach is a venerable disease!

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    Just one look and you will be dazzled and converted!  All hail the mighty goddess peach!
    
    
    
    the goddess peach, clothed modestly in her fuzz, sweetly remains the pinnacle and the model of decent goodness!

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    LeanManposted 13 years ago

    Yo Man...
    
    Chill out!
    
    Come follow the path of the passion fruit man......
    
    Psychedelic.... woooooo...

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       prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Tony, can you explain this to me about fruits, banana etc. I am so can't understand, smile

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          LeanManposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I think you have as much chance of explaining this thread as anyone else... Which fruit religion would you like to follow, are you one of the veggie sect??

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             prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             I still can't get it, veggie sect.
             
             Well, I am a Catholic, when  was growing up. But I have doubts, took Philosophy and Sociology in college, then I found out it is much easier to debunk the idea that there is no God, so it was kinda cool teaching college later on about it, took you only one minute to negate the idea of God (religion is a required subject at the University I am teaching). But the inner me always believe in it, so in the end until now I still believe in God,and remains a Catholic, although at times I falter. I end up finding another job.
             
             Maybe I can have my own religion, not a fruit, smile,

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          camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Cucumberism is the Only Truth, Maita.
          Join us NOW!
          
          

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    camloposted 13 years ago

    Spread the word of Marrow!

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       prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Hi camlo

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          camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Hi Maita

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    LeanManposted 13 years ago

    The passion fruitists will be having a "love in" man.... come pop some seeds..... yeah man...

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       mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Dude!  I can totally relate, since, when you get to the real core message in the Church of the Peach you find it hard.  But when you reach the center of it there is a nut, bitter and sweet - so similar to most religious teachings!  However, I've never met a passionfruit so I can't make any judgement about you and yours!  It sounds rather funky, no offense!

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          camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          Well, you won't find a nut at the centre of Cucumberism.
          

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             mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

             that's so true - however, you have to admit it is rather seedy!

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                prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                yes it is mega, mega and I could be following a cat or a horse, smile
                
                cucumber are for beauty, you put it in your face b4 u sleep, in your eyes, freeze it, it feels good, other than that, it is perfect for green salad

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                   camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   So, you are also a Cucumberist!

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                      prettydarkhorseposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      yes, I love cucumbers too, and eggplant with egg, boil or grill the whole eggplant the longer ones, not the round ones. Then removed the covering, and flatten it,  beat an egg with little bit of salt and dip the eggplant there, then cooked it with little oil, fry..yum yum, you can put onions too --
                      
                      ask mega she might like it too, everytime I cooked it, my girlfriends here say ti is awesome
                      
                      talk to you later camlo, night there

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                         camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                         I'll try that. Thanks!
                         
                         But don't go over to Auberginism ...

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                         mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                         I adore eggplant - I make an "ambrosia" spread with roasted garlic, roasted eggplant and roasted red peppers - then puree it all together add some salt and spread on fresh bread or toast or crackers or just eat from a spoon - or add to a sandwich - great with turkey and provolone cheese on french bread - oh oh oh!  also great as a topping on pizza!  oh yummmmmM!  I am so hungry!

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                camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Not as seedy as anything Tom Cruise has got anything to do with - Google it and check it out.
                Besides, seedy is better that nutty any day!

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    Well, hey, its a free country.  I think Maita should have her own religion if she wants it!  She does seem more like a peachy kind of person to me, but I am prejudiced!
    
    Stand back, give her some air - all this fruit and veg religion stuff is not for everyone!  Some people worship cats, you know! 

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    mega1posted 13 years ago

    the greeks say the eggplant is sexyist of all - but I still vote for the peach.  Peaches are way sexyier!   mmmmm!

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       camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       You know very well the cucumber is the sexiest of all.
       I see from your avatar that you've stopped wearing fur, so you are slanting towards Cucumberism after all.
       
       

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          mega1posted 13 years agoin reply to this

          I have fur you can't see - well, more like fuzz!

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             camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             You look as smooth as a Cucumber to me.
             Admit it, you're converting to Cucumberism, aren't you? No need to be shy about it.
             
             

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    theirishobserver.posted 13 years ago

    At this moment I am worshipping my banana

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       camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       Only Cucumbers can be truly worshipped.

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          Kathryn LJposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          What about gerkins, are they a branch of the Cucumber bretheren or a heretical splinter group?

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             camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

             The poor, poor Gherkin.
             The Gherkin is of the same species as the Cucumber, and to be reverred in the same way.
             Unfortunately, non-Cucumberists have been pickling and enclosing them in jars for centuries; an act of severe cruelty. You may recently have read in the news that Cucumberists have begun campaigning against this by freeing Gherkins from their jars in supermarkets on all corners of the globe. Demonstrations are also planned for the near future.
             
             

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                china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                Gherkins deserve everything htey get !   size matters !

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                   camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Gherkins are only babies when they're harvested, pickled, and enclosed in jars.
                   Poor, innocent babies!
                   How can you condone such cruelty to babies?

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                   camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                   Have you seen Marrow?
                   Do you know how big Marrow, God of Cucumberism is?
                   Much, much bigger than any of your pathetic, pulpy, slippery
                   bananas.
                   
                   

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                      alternate poetposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                      But bananas come in hands, in this we see the hand of bananagod: ffyferonomy chapter3 verse 34

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                         camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                         But remove the component bananas, and the hand of bananagod is depleted - yet another rickety characteristic of bananaism.
                         Marrow will always be complete. Marrow is absolute, as is Cucumberism.
                         
                         

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                            china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                            You are clearly thinking with your small head on this one - The whole of your religion is encompassed in your little green winkie you show us with each of these posts
                            
                            Stop following little green winkies and stand up with your strong thick and fairly straight banana !

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                               camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                               What did you say?
                               
                               

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                                  china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                  All hail marrowism !!  wouldn't like to carry that around all day though !

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                                     earnestshubposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                     Marrowism is a cult
                                     that started near Niagra
                                     When old McDonald had a farm
                                     with marrows on viagra.

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                                     camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                                     Actually, Marrow is the God of Cucumberism. We true Cucumberists worship Marrow through Cucumber, and the image of Cucumber is our sacred symbol.
                                     
                                     

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       china manposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       NO - that is something quite different and will make you go blind !

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       1. 78

          camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

          And it's a sin! He'll land up in the solanaceous dungeons.

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50. 74

    LeanManposted 13 years ago

    Hang out with passion fruitists babe..... you don't know what you are missing.... peace man..

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    1. 78

       camloposted 13 years agoin reply to this

       It's not possible to worship a passion fruit.
       Only Cucumbers can be truly worshipped.

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