critiques needed

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  1. saleheensblog profile image59
    saleheensblogposted 7 years ago

    your opinion on this hub is highly appreciated.
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Problems-of-lea … d-language

  2. Lifeallstar1 profile image58
    Lifeallstar1posted 7 years ago

    Hi! I'm not an expert by all means but will give you my opinion and see what you think. I appreciate your hard work.

    I would suggest two things that pop out for me. First I would edit the introduction by cutting it down a bit, I feel like you might be repeating your point. Second, I would make your point extra clear so everyone will know exactly what they will find and learn by reading it.

    Overall I liked it. I think making it tighter in the beginning will only help. Not sure if you agree or not? Hope that helps.

    By the way, I haven't checked out your hubs yet but if you haven't done it yet and looking for something to write, I think a little lesson for us English speaking hubbers on how to learn a little of your language would be so awesome! I know I would love it. I love to learn and you know the language so well. Just a suggestion smile

    1. saleheensblog profile image59
      saleheensblogposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      thank you, i will revise the starting.

  3. SteveoMc profile image73
    SteveoMcposted 7 years ago

    This hub is very well done.   I am so glad you took my suggestion and wrote this.  I think it will do well.  I loved every word of it.   

    There are a few things that might improve it slightly.   The sentence, 'In this hub I will share my personal experience on acquisition of English and my troubles with syntax and the ways I am searching for to get out of my troubles.'

    I would re-word the sentence so leave out the word, 'hub.'  A possible way would be: 

    This is my personal experience on acquisition of English and my troubles with syntax and the ways I am searching to get out of my troubles.

    Try for some shorter sentences and maybe even some shorter paragraphs.   It might make things simpler since a paragraph represents one thought. 

    I think that this hub is a triumph.

  4. travelespresso profile image80
    travelespressoposted 7 years ago

    Hello - I've just finished reading your hub and I think that you've expressed your feelings well.

    Can I suggest that you add in some more paragraphs so that the dense text is broken up a little more.  That will allow the reader to access your writing in more manageable chunks.

    I look forward to reading more of your work.

  5. shazwellyn profile image66
    shazwellynposted 7 years ago

    There is lots of useful content in this hub.  However, I found it a bit overwhelming - the look of it.  You need to have more paragraph breaks. 

    At the beginning of the article, you need to place your keywords within the first two sentences - either that or manually do this in the summary text box - this is for search engines to embold.

    I wondered if you could shorten your title a bit - it is a bit of an overload.  Something short and snappy.

    I think you need to optimize your page - you know about this, because you read my hub about it!

    Good luck and always pleased to see you progress smile

  6. saleheensblog profile image59
    saleheensblogposted 7 years ago

    Thank you everyone for the great help and appreciation.

    I will work on it breaking the texts in more paragraphs.

    @SteveoMc it was a great pleasure to write this hub and it becomes more special when you say, "challenge well-done" being the person proving the challenge.

    @travelespresso thank you for the helpful input and comment.

    @shazwellyn I will work on your suggestions. I know how to optimize my pages but I am too lazy to do so.Ha ha ha. Always waiting for someone to come and optimize my pages.LOL. Whatever I will at least be more focused on on-page optimization. I know the importance of putting keywords in the first couple of lines and also have heard about the summary text box but hardly could figure out where the vary box is hiding. Could you please explain where to get the summary text box?

  7. beth811 profile image81
    beth811posted 7 years ago

    Where to find Summary Text Box:
    1. Open your hub
    2. Click Edit
    3. Click Summary Text button at the middle of Settings and Group.

    1. saleheensblog profile image59
      saleheensblogposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      hohooo, thank youuuuuuuuuuuu.

      1. beth811 profile image81
        beth811posted 7 years agoin reply to this

        You're welcome smile

 
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