I have never been comfortable with my body image. I am not terribly photogenic, and am lucky to present a 'pretty face' to the world. I'll go through rolls and rolls of film to find an image of myself that I want to present to the world. Some folks disagree with me-especially my mom!-but it is so ingrained that I don't meet the beauty standards in society that I've never quite gotten over this insanity. How do you 'measure up?' Are you truly comfortable with your physical appearance?
Beauty is more than skin deep. You of all people should know this. Not to mention, perceptions of others is always skewed by what one does, which is compare themselves to the object they are looking at.
My mother has the same outlook you do and yet, she is a very beautiful lady, when you look at her complete make-up.
It should be YOUR standards and understanding of beauty that matters. What other people think of your looks shouldn't really matter, unless you're unhealthy and they are trying to help you to become healthy.
I've never measured up with what society's standard was/is and it took me plenty of years to finally understand, before I accepted myself.
I am now, even with the supposed issues others tell me I have. It shows me that they don't understand. That's all.
No, not at all comfortable, ever.
Now, after succeeding in losing most of my vastly excess weight for the second time round, I still see myself as fat most times I look in the mirror.
I also am not photogenic in general. My current avatar photo was the result of a "makeover" session, so I had expert make-up and hair styling, and then was photographed with proper use of lighting etc. Even so, only 4 or 5 out of the 50 resulting pictures were acceptable! When it is a matter of casual snaps, I stand no chance whatsoever.
I once had one of those photo-'makeover' sessions for a new boyfriend who encouraged it with anticipation and male'pride', somehow! It was really a disaster, I mean I was trying to impress him with lingerie shots which showed every nook and cranny of my body-not even close to a size 0! (Try size 16!!!) In the end, I also found one or two head shots that made me feel kinda pretty. The rest of them-probably 30/40 or so-were honestly embarrassing-at least to me. He said they were hot. Men seem to be so silly in their visuality. Yikes! I am honestly not trying to 'diss' all men here, but that's how it seems our society has programmed us.
My profile pic was taken around a year ago by my hubby, whom I completely adore, so perhaps that's why I like it. WriteAngled, I completely relate to your story-wish I could lose so much weight! And I am not really heavy at all, but feel I am...
I absolutely hate the camera and it certainly hates me!
I hate my image, so much that it has been years since I have looked at my face in a mirror. I have been diagnosed as having body dysmorphic disorder, but I don't believe this is the case, because my face really is ugly. BDD would only be possible if I had an attractive face, but thought it was ugly. I haven't allowed anyone to take my photograph for ten years and I avoid anything that is reflective, whether windows or pots and pans, because I find my reflection very distressing.
I sometimes wonder if I am the only man who experiences these feelings. Every person I know personally or read about that really hate the way they look are women. Surely there must be some other men out there who feel this way. Having said that, most men I know love the way they look, even the really ugly ones. I wonder why the way men and women perceive themselves is so different and why some men believe that any woman who does not find them attractive must therefore be a lesbian.
I think I have a different view of my body than how it really looks I saw my upper arms in an elevator recently and couldn't understand how my mothers arms got there...
Society still places a much greater emphasis on women's looks and it is SO hard not to buy into that! Especially as we get older and are surrounded by younger women with firmer bodies and smoother skin who don't have to squint when they are reading small print or who don't have to get up for the bathroom 2 or 3 times a night.
It is hard not to buy into the idea that if you have a few wrinkles or gray hairs you are somehow less worthy when actually, we have the wisdom of our years in our favor - or at least, that's the way we should be seen.
My image has changed as I have. When I was younger I had major body issues, at least I thought I was accurate at the time but looking back I realized I was wrong. I used to think I never measured up, even after the service toned me up I still saw flaws. Not terrible flaws, I wasn't too blind to see my assets and know that my body was strong but I couldn't get around to using the word beautiful.
As I got older I appreciated my strengths more but I'm not blind to my flaws. Right now I am very unhappy with my body but I know it's because I am unhealthy and I am getting excellent medical care to correct that.
As far as my face, well that hasn't changed much over the years and I don't like many of my photographs. I started figuring out the magic of make-up a few years ago but, more importantly, I figured out the magic of my photography editing software program! LOL
I grew up believing that I was ugly. My older sister is beautiful and all my relatives would say how beautiful my sister was. When I was a kid, it didn't bother me as I was a tomboy then mainly because all my playmates were boys.. no little girls to play with. But it did when I grew up, and it hurt. Then I discovered makeup. Yay! With makeup, I transformed myself to "almost" pretty. When I was married, I went from size 7 to size 16. My husband loved to cook and loved to try new recipes. When he died, I went into depression and lost 35 lbs, so now I'm back to size 7. But I would gladly have the extra weight and keep my husband. For him, I always looked beautiful and I felt beautiful. They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder... so true, so true.
My pic is really me. But no one would know me if they bumped into me in person, as I am just photogenic. Seriously! I attended one of those get-together in my friendship internet site and one woman pointed at my friend with me saying "You, you look like your picture." And then turned to me, pointed at me, and said "But you, you don't look like your picture." Talk about most embarrassing moment!
hmm, this is sad to read. Sherlock, I'm sure you are not ugly. Gosh, ugly is such an ugly word..
We are not our face or our image. We are our whole self.
I know we all look in the mirror and see our 'faults'(or what we perceive as faults), but it's not our true essence. It's being human. Beauty comes from within. I wish more humans could see their own beauty and worth.
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