HubPages is the Root of All Evil

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   Shadesbreathposted 12 years ago

   HubPages is the root of all evil. From the beginning of time HubPages has lurked behind every source of misery, pestilence and death. In Eden, when Eve stood before that tree, hand tremulous with the desire to taste the forbidden fruit, the serpent that tempted her… it was HubPages. In fact, it wasn’t even a real serpent. It was a sockpuppet with a HubPages staff member’s hand thrust up its linen backside and yap-yapping its muppet-snake mouth. “Eat the apple, beyotch!” it said, and look what happened. Mankind was kicked out of the garden and a bunch of terrible stuff followed: wars, plagues, famine, that show Glee on tv… everything was ruined.
   
   Now, the people at HubPages sit in their offices and laugh. They mince about in genuine kitten-fur slippers and nibble the fried hearts of baby seals, all the while backslapping and fist-bumping each other every opportunity they get to crap on someone’s revenue. To steal income. To find ways to manipulate us all like sheep with no will, no minds, no other options because this is the only place in all the Internet to write, including starting sites on our own. That can’t be done. There are no other options; nothing they do helps any of us make money, ever; and, trapped as we all are in the maelstrom of HubPage evil, we all circle the drain of eternity. They are so horrible, Satan sends them text messages all the time just to say, “S’up.”
   
   Or not.

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      Mark Ewbieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      I'm loving this.  Nicely done Shades - of course.
      
      I personally have been raped by the HP staff.  Well not raped, but Simone ignored me on one thread.

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         Shadesbreathposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         That's pretty close. You should start a huffy thread about it.

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            Mark Ewbieposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            And a flounce as well.  Shades, there's a lot of material in all this.

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         skyfireposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Next Hub title - "What to do If someone you like Ignores your hub" 

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      habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Don't forget about their coats made of poodle fur.

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      Xenonlitposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks a lot. You all made me laugh so hard that I spit my coffee all over my keyboard. Now it's mixing in with all of the dust that is in there.

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         Daniel Carterposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         There's nothing like a little coffee mud in a keyboard. Think of it as baptism against the unwashed HP staff.
         

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   Greek Oneposted 12 years ago

   

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3. 59

   janesixposted 12 years ago

   Everyone gets it wrong.
   
   The LOVE OF HubPages is the root of all evil.

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      RedElfposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      You forgot their desks inlaid with rare Rain forest woods, Elephant ivory toothpicks, and crocodile skin day-timers...

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4. 64

   Lisa HWposted 12 years ago

   
   
   "I must never stray away from the all-powerful Hubpages.  I must never stray away from the all-powerful HubPages.  I must never stray away from the all-powerful HubPages.  I must...."  (and on and on. you get the idea)

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5. 0

   Home Girlposted 12 years ago

   Halloween is over, stop scaring children.

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      Lisa HWposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      That's no costume, Home Girl.  It's me without my usual disguise.     (but it's also every other Hubber on this site without their disguises too)

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6. 73

   Cagsilposted 12 years ago

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   Shadebreath.....the master of comedy.....

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7. 64

   Daniel Carterposted 12 years ago

   Now I know why I didn't suffer one, but actually TWO divorces.
   I want my homes back HP staff. Pronto. Tis the season and all that.
   
   After all is said and done, I believe Karma must work at hubpages as well.
   I did nothing to deserve the onslaught, Karma. Check with my devotees.
   I've often said Karma's a witch and I'm glad I didn't marry her, too.

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   shibashakeposted 12 years ago

   I would hope that Satan would give them more than just text messages for all their hard work! From all that I have read, Satan is no cheapskate.

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9. 91

   Pcunixposted 12 years ago

   Some of us LIKE being manipulated.
   
   As to the stolen money, I had way too much anyway.  Had they not stolen it, I would not have got it anyway as my wife spends it as quickly as it comes in.  That's her job, as it has been for 44 years now: she spends it, I make more.
   
   As to the slippers, so what?  I spend most of my day in bathrobe and slippers.  There's nobody here to fist-bump except my afore-mentioned wife and she's usually out buying stuff and she'd get annoyed if I slapped her back..
   
   What?  Oh, yeah, wandering again..

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      Rosie2010posted 12 years agoin reply to this

      "she'd get annoyed if I slapped her back.."
      hahaha after 44 years, you should know by now!
      
      Give your wife a ^5 from me... what a gal!
      

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      Shadesbreathposted 12 years agoin reply to this

      Aim lower, and tell her she's been bad.

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         habeeposted 12 years agoin reply to this

         Oooohhh...me like the way you think, Shady!

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            Cagsilposted 12 years agoin reply to this

            

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