(Note: to avoid the threading issue, please go to the last page, and use the black "Reply" button at the bottom of the page only! And here we go:)
It was a dark and stormy night.
The light from a candle could be seen in one of the turret windows.
The bacon, I mean beacon also smelled delicious and the knight was hungry.
The knights stomach rumbled, reminding him how hungry he was.
Soon all thoughts of hunger vanished as in the light of the turret window he saw the most amazing sight.
It was a plate full of freshly cooked bacon and the knight now knew that he was no longer going to die of starvation which had been a pressing issue on his mind.
All of the sudden a wizard appeared and yelled "TOO MANY HANDS IN THE COOKIE JAR!!!" The knight almost choked to death on his bacon meal and had no idea what was happening.
"Wizard, indeed. This is your mother, Knight. Go wash your hands before you touch any more of that pig. There's no telling what kinds of guts and horse fodder you've been into lo these many years."
Having been told off by his mother the knight washed his hands.
Then, he finished off the pig,experiencing prodigious fltulance, smiled and belched.
The wizard soon began to speak again " I hope your going to wash that plate? i am not doing it again, your 26 and still living at home, all yor brothers are married into nice families, when are you going to leave and be a man? she said..
The knight decided he had had enough of these drunken ramblings from a wizard claiming to be his mother (who was also male), so he stood up and drew his sword and pointed it towards the sky and said the following timeless phrase, used countless times throughout history to gain freinds and influence people;
Your not the messiah your a very naughty boy
The castle walls began to rumble while the knight, both bold and humble, spake these very words in grumble. "Wait. Oh crap." His sword did fumble.
The Knight fell on the ground and landed on his sword, thankfully no harm done and he stood up and stared at the wizard.
The knight fixed his eyes upon the wizard assessing his opponent.
But he had a large bit of delicious bacon lodged between his molars.
Bacon was so tasty and delicious that without noticing being watched by Knight he was swallowing it down without chewing it.
The wizard was still staring at the knight when he said, "Did I mention the bacon was delicious?".
Suddenly, a forceful knock on the door pushed the door open revealing a strangely clad man in brown who proclaimed, ¨I´m the district bowel inspector here for the annual inspection of all bowels belonging to that those that have eaten an entire pig within the last 24 hours and wizards¨!
'Scram!'- mumbled the distraught knight and fainted;the wizard could not stop hiccuping...
The Bowel Inspector knocked on the door again and when the wizard opened it he said " It is the law of the land. I must inspect all bowels in this residence"
The wizard was very confused, as he did not grasp how the Bowel Inspector could go about the inspection of bowels without he himself being disemboweled.
Im sorry said the wizard but I had my bowels inspected yesterday..at that the inspector nodded and left.
The wizard and the knight looked at each other and uttered "What the bloody heck was that?"
by SpanStar 10 years ago
How do you get back to where you submit a line for an opening? Thank you
by Scott Cooper 8 years ago
Who wrote the sentence: "It was a dark and stormy night..." ?
by Maddie Ruud 10 years ago
Just a quick heads up that there's something new and fun going on, now 'til June 15th, headed up by our very own lmmartin. If you're familiar with the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, you'll know how much fun this can be. If you're not, head on over to the HubPages blog to see how it...
by Mikeydoes 10 years ago
Be creative and take the story where ever you want. Be funny or mean, whatever, I want to hear a story about a character made up by everyone. Going on a journey or doing something. The name of the character is Mikey.1 sentence at a time I'll start it Mikey quickly takes his clothes off and runs...
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