Critique my writing?

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   Shanna11posted 13 years ago

   Hi, I'm new here, and, well... a fairly young, inexperienced and new writer. With some encouragement from Shadesbreath, I started writing and churned out four mediocre hubs and I'm not sure where to go from there. They're written in the same style, and I'm not sure how to approach a serious topic (serious as in not incorporating bad humor like my other hubs) or a non-list hub just yet.
   
   I feel a bit lost and would very much appreciate someone giving me serious or even pretty harsh feedback if necessary. I need to get a sense of re-direction.
   
   Thank you!

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      Shanna11posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      After cruising around a bit more, I suppose it would be helpful if I was more specific .... oops!
      In my opinion, my best hubs are the following and I would appreciate any comments on either of them:
      
      http://shanna11.hubpages.com/hub/Tray-T … Dishwasher
      
      http://shanna11.hubpages.com/hub/Donati … e-Hard-Way
      
      Thanks!

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         Elani-Leeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         I just read your dishwashing Hub, and I think it was really well written. I will offer some critiques though. You are obviously a very intelligent person with a pretty impressive vocabulary. Most people aren't. I think that if you are marketing yourself to a more general audience, you should try to be a bit less flowery and verbose. I really did enjoy reading your Hub, but I think the average person wouldn't have been able to get through it.

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            Shanna11posted 13 years agoin reply to this

            Thank you! I've heard that before.

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      Rock_njposted 13 years agoin reply to this

      I just read your hub "Tray Translation: The Art of a College Dishwasher".  An interesting and off-beat topic.  I thought it was well written and witty (the three types of personalities behind the trays).  I saw no flaws in your writing that popped out at me. 
      
      As an aside, I recently read a hub by a Hubber with a 100 rating with over 1,000 hubs, and I was totally appalled at how poorly the hub was written.  I was expectinh to be wowed by this 100 score Hubber’s article, but found myself wondering how they ever achieve such a score with such poor writing skills?  It wasn’t typos and punctuation problems, it was basic sentence structure and use of the English language that at times did not make sense or sounded way too colloquial for the topic at hand.

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         Shanna11posted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Thank you very much for taking the time to read it! I really appreciate it!
         
         As an aside to your aside, I know exactly what you mean. Perhaps it was more the information than the writing or style that earned them that rating.

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   Shadesbreathposted 13 years ago

   To the rest of HP: She's brilliant, articulate FAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR beyond her years, and hilarious. Just go read her stuff and giggle.
   
   My advice to you, Shanna, is the same as before. Keep writing. Don't worry about what people say. (Poking around in the forums is a great way to find people too. Go read some hubs, leave some comments. Etc. Reap what you sow. Blah blah.)

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      Shanna11posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      You're going to end up making me egotistical if you don't stop being nice. I need a mean mentor. You're creating a monster.

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      1. 77

         Shadesbreathposted 13 years agoin reply to this

         Oh sorry. Let me try again. Ahem...
         
         Shanna, you suck. Your writing is crap. Frankly, I think you should consider a career in waste management as you seem to have a facility with excrement.
         
         
         How's that?

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            Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

            

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            Shanna11posted 13 years agoin reply to this

            I was thinking more along the lines of Yoda or maybe Batman's mentor in Batman Begins? Could you maybe give either of those a try?

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               Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

               Shanna, use the force?

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                  Shanna11posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                  It's not working. No one's coming to critique my writing no matter how much I force-choke them. Strange...

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                  1. 71

                     Cagsilposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                     Well, I did as you asked.
                     
                     I reviewed your two hubs you have posted here. I would say that they are written well enough and are long enough in content.
                     
                     I would suggest you do a little more reading of hubs, with regards to keywords research and SEO stuff. I only say that due to the fact that you have very few keywords and/or tags for your two hubs posted here.
                     
                     Other than that, the topics are fine.
                     
                     Lastly, Welcome to HubPages!

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                        Shanna11posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                        Thank you very much- keywords and the whole tagging thing are still a bit murky to me. Shadesbreath suggested I research SEO and I unfortunately haven't gotten around to it just yet.

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                           Rock_njposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                           I write professionally for a website that tries to make their articles SEO.  SEO comes down to keying in on a phrase and repeating it a number of times within an article, so search engines associate the article with those key words.  Highlighting the phrase the first time helps, as does using it in H2 and H3 headings (does Hubpages have heading capabilities like this, anyone?).  Also, it should be in the first and last sentance of an article, and any photos should be named using the key words, including ALT text.  There are plenty of articles that explain SEO.

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                              Shanna11posted 13 years agoin reply to this

                              Thank you so much! That's extremely helpful. I'll have to go look for those articles.

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                              Elani-Leeposted 13 years agoin reply to this

                              That is really good information, I've always been curious about SEO. The problem though is that putting those "key words" in makes my articles sounds so...fake I guess. For example, I have a Hub about illegal immigration. I can't use the term "illegal immigration" over and over again, I think it weakens the content.

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3. 71

   Cagsilposted 13 years ago

   Shanna,
   
   Here are two resident sources for SEO.
   
   http://peterhoggan.hubpages.com/
   
   http://sunforged.hubpages.com/

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      Shanna11posted 13 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks! I was actually just reading another forum that you posted on about SEO and was reading some of sunforged's Hubs.

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