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HubNnuggets III, The Search for Hank

Updated on May 11, 2010

Cue Star Trek Theme Music....

HubNuggets...the Final Frontier.

These are the continuing voyages of the Starship Hubertise. Her ongoing explore strange new writing, to seek out new HubNuggets and boldly go where no Hubber has gone before.

*Cue music swell and fade*


Captain's Log, Stardate 0507.2010

The unimaginable has happened. Commander PI-Sci has picked up a recorded distress signal from Ensign Hank, who disappeared on our last voyage in the Caribbean.

Unfortunately, Hank was in charge of keeping our storehouse of fresh HubNugget entries safe. It would seem that unsavory characters have kidnapped our drunken mascot and stolen the hubs, too! Do those who hold Hank and the nuggets intend to use our Wannabe offerings for evil purposes? We must assume so.

As yet, we do not know how some villainous scoundrels were able to find and capture our zany yet lovable Ensign. From the bridge, I stand and wonder, Is the signal we're receiving actually a warning of impending danger? The crew and I hope for the best but fear the worst as we prepare to provide rescue. Will there be any Wannabe lists to vote on this week?

"Commander Evilpants, patch me through to HubFleet Command, immediately! Tell them it's urgent!"

"Who, me?"

"Commander, stop being modest. You know very well that those antlers work as a super antenna. We can pick up signals from as far away as the HP Forum Nebula on those things."

"Oh. Well then, call for you on line two. And check that big screen in front of you, there should be a picture coming on there any second."

*Fade to commercial*

Do You Dream of Appearing in Our Next HubNuggets Space Sequel?

Well, if you've been a Hubber for ninety days or less, you qualify to be considered as a potential Wannabe, as long as you meet the following criteria:

  • You have a Hub Score of 75 or higher
  • Your hub has been published within seven weeks from date of current contest
  • Your topic and content fit into one of the featured topics
  • The hub has a score of 55 or higher
  • Your hub has at least 500 words (prefer 800) and at least one photo or video

That's it. Easy, right? Sure it is, just write an excellent, interesting hub and you stand a great chance of appearing in one of our HubNugget Space Sequels. Your hub will get to meet the team and take a ride on the HSS Hubertise, too. Just think how exciting that will be for your hub!

Now, if you're not already a hubber, no problem. Just click on this sentence to go to the sign up screen and get your own HubPages account. Then, just start hubbing (writing).

Don't delay, make your dream a reality! Hub well, hub often and maybe we'll see you here next week!

*End commercial*

Admiral Jason on graduation day at the academy
Admiral Jason on graduation day at the academy
Commander Maddie after her new hairdo
Commander Maddie after her new hairdo
Stock HubFleet photo of Captain Shirley Anderson
Stock HubFleet photo of Captain Shirley Anderson

Captain Shirley Alerts HP HQ

"Admiral Jason, I need to speak to you on a matter of the utmost importance! Ensign Hank has been abducted. We received a distress call a few minutes ago."

"Uh-huh but how are the nuggets? You've got them on board, right?"

"Welllll, not exactly. Hank was in charge of guarding the Wannabe lists while we were fighting off pirates in the Caribbean."

"This is no good! You must rescue those HubNugget entries, right away! Do whatever you must Captain but bring back those hubs in one piece. NOW! There's no time to lose, those things have a shelf life, you know."

"Aye-aye, Admiral"

"Oh, Captain Shirley?"

"Yes, Commander Maddie?"

"Umm, does anyone know how Hank is?"

*Captain Shirley and Admiral Jason answer in unison*


"You know, the missing Ensign whose life may be in danger?"

"He'll be in a lot more peril if those nuggets aren't returned safely, forthwith."

* Some throat cleaning and awkward silence*

"Well, okay then. Thanks for your help, Admiral. Hubertise out."

B.T. 'Radar' Evilpants

Commander Evilpants can alter his antlers at will in an emergency! He doesn't know it but he's holding Ensign Hank's katra
Commander Evilpants can alter his antlers at will in an emergency! He doesn't know it but he's holding Ensign Hank's katra

Warp Speed 7, Mr. Evilpants!

"Right away, Captain! By the way, which direction do you want me point the ship in?"

"Straight ahead, Commander Evilpants. Officer PI-Sci (or is it Sci-PI?) has tracked Ensign Hank's signal to the lower quadrant of the Hoochi-Koochi galaxy. Seems our platypus is trapped in a city of pubs, strip joints and games of chance. Those fiends that stole him obviously intend to keep him distracted from his duty as protector of the nuggets."


"Mr. Evilpants, are you drooling?"

Science Officer PI-Sci (or is it Sci-PI?)

Sleek, sexy and sensible, Office PI-Sci is fast and efficient at the console
Sleek, sexy and sensible, Office PI-Sci is fast and efficient at the console

Thank Heavens for Sensible Officer Sci-PI (or is it PI-Sci?)

"Good work on locating the source of Ensign Hank's signal, Commander Sci-PI! Time is of the essence in tracking down those nuggets he's been entrusted with."

"Thanks, Captain. As we get closer to Hoochie-Koochie, I should be able to get some better co-ordinates and maybe even pinpoint Hank's exact location."

"Marvelous! I'll inform the Admiral of our progress, I'm sure he'll be impressed with your skills, Sci-PI. You might just get a citation out of this calamity."

"Aw, shucks. That'd be great Captain but I think Commander Evilpants deserves a little recognition, too. It's not easy for him to contort his antlers like that."

"Maybe when he comes out of his daydream of being with his buddy, Hank."

Chief of Security, Zsuzsy Bee

When not whipping up a quilt or cooking a gourmet meal, Officer Bee is engaging in auditory surveilance
When not whipping up a quilt or cooking a gourmet meal, Officer Bee is engaging in auditory surveilance

Is It Klingon or Is It Memorex?

"Chief Security Officer Bee, I'd like you to study these messages that Commander Sci-PI has been picking up. They sound Klingon to me. We suspect the signals are coming from the area where Ensign Hank and the nuggets are being held."

"Right away, Captain! I'll be able to let you know in just a few minutes. Thank Heavens I took that Klingon language course on my vacation.

"Very good, Officer Bee. Let me know"

Chief Historian and Tactical Officer RedElf

Officer RedElf uses all the weaponry at her command to secure and retrieve the nuggets
Officer RedElf uses all the weaponry at her command to secure and retrieve the nuggets

Things Get Tense

"Captain, Officer Sci-Pi has pinpointed Ensign Hank's co-ordinates from the new signals coming in on Commander Evilpants' antlers. Officer Bee has determined that the strange language is indeed Klingon and we now know that Hank is being held on the Hoochie-Koochie strip. His location keeps moving but it stays within a four block radius."

"Full speed ahead, Officer RedElf. We must reach those nuggets in time for this week's hub!"

"Oh, I can do better than that, Captain. I'll blast the area with those new slime bombs we got in last week. Those villains won't be able move after getting hit with those babies."

"Fine, just don't hurt the nuggets."

"Aye-aye, Captain!"

Lt. Commander Ripplemaker

Lt. Commander Ripplemaker is our hero! She found our precious nuggets
Lt. Commander Ripplemaker is our hero! She found our precious nuggets

Lt. Commander Ripplemaker Saves the Day

"Wait! Wait! I've found them!"

"Found who? Found what?"

"Ensign Hank and the nuggets! They were down in the wine cellar, behind a barrel of Merlot."

"Excellent work, Lt. Commander Ripplemaker. Just in time, too. The hub is about to be published."

Captain's Log Supplemental

The HubNuggets team showed a valiant effort in their rescue attempt of our precious nugget cargo.

"What's that Commander Evilpants? Oh yes, and Ensign Hank."

Our officers determined that the signals we were receiving came from the watch that the Ensign traded for a keg of ale while on brief visit to Hoochie-Koochie. Apparently, while the rest of us were dodging pirate foils, Hank slipped away for a bit of fun.

Thankfully, every one of our nuggets is safe, sound, in tact and appear in our Wannabe listings below. What will happen to Ensign Hank as a result of his little AWOL adventure? HP HQ will handle that issue.

Which one of this week's Sports & Recreation nominees is your favorite?

  • 15% 10 Tips To Survive A Bear Attack
  • 64% How Reggie Miller Saved Indianapolis
  • 5% 10 Paintball Games You Have To Play
  • 7% Interior Features to Look for in an RV
  • 0% Outdoor Clothing
  • 8% Traveling Cheap in Bocas Del Toro, Panama: It's Better Than Tahiti!
59 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

Which one of this week's Travel & Places nominees is your favorite?

  • 11% Fishing on the Piers of the OBX aka Outer Banks of NC the basics
  • 42% Hidden London landmarks you've probably never visited
  • 4% The Scottish Malt Whisky Trail
  • 2% Habitat for Humanity trip to Malawi, April 9-22, 2010
  • 31% American Dialects: I Speak American, How About You?
  • 9% Discover Canada one Adventure at a Time
45 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

Which one of this week's Games, Toys, & Hobbies nominees is your favorite?

  • 23% An Introduction to Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading Card Game: Monsters
  • 15% Answer to Jane: My Favourite Antique is.......
  • 8% Architectural Antique Salvage
  • 15% The Making of Teddy Bears
  • 19% US Postage Stamps: 1933
  • 19% 1956 Topps Baseball Cards
26 people have voted in this poll.

This poll is now closed to voting.

Thanks for Flying Hubertise!

Thanks for supporting our Wannabes by reading and voting. I know they appreciate it a lot!

If you're one of our beloved Wannabes yourself, don't forget to promote your nominated hub on Facebook, Digg, StumbleUpon, your blog, website or even by word of mouth to all your friends and neighbours. People don't have to be a member of HubPages to vote, they just have to come to this page, click the little circle beside their favourite from each category then click the Vote button. That's it, easy.

Hope you enjoyed spending a little time with the HubNuggets crew. Join us next week, when Commander B.T. Evilpants will take us on another exciting space adventure aboard the HSS Hubertise.

Captain Shirley out.


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