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A Few Words of Wisdom

Updated on June 27, 2016
Wisdom, Humor, Whimsy: A Little of Each. by rlz
Wisdom, Humor, Whimsy: A Little of Each. by rlz

The elephant is the only animal with four knees.

In the long run, we will all be dead and none of us will have any money.

In his autobiography, U.S. President Martin Van Buren never mentioned his wife at all.

Pi • r • square? No — pie are round; cornbread are square.

Want to reduce your carbon footprint by twelve square feet? Clean the inside of your oven.

“Don’t YOU look nice!” = “What the hell is THAT you’re wearing?!”

Christmas trees are never as tall, nor holiday lights ever so bright, as when you were a child.

What’s the deal with camo-gear for 4- and 5-year-olds? Are there really that many of them heading into the wilderness stalking game or pursuing the enemy?

If you have to ask “Does this _________ make my butt look fat?”, your butt already looks fat. You should instead be asking “Does this ________ make my butt look fatter?”.

For a really entertaining time, simply stop in to rickzworld.

Life’s one sure rule: In the end, you just have to do everything yourself.

James Stephen Hogg, the first native Texan to become that state’s Governor, in 1875 named his newborn daughter Ima.

Get ready. This is one of those nights when one beer is too much, but fifteen cocktails aren’t enough.

The human population of America and the rat population of America are about equal.

Wouldn’t it be great if the punctuation came at the beginning of the sentence rather than the end, so that you’d get a little advance notice whether your wife was posing a rhetorical question or being sarcastic?

Chow is for dogs. Mess is for pigs. Cafeteria is for grad students and double-shift residents. Everybody else deserves real food.

Why are people surprised to find they dislike their elected officials after only a year, when the first true-love passion of their youth flamed out in just six weeks?

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    • rickzimmerman profile image

      rickzimmerman 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio

      Thanks again, GRP: told you I'd offer truth & wisdom (sort of).

    • GlstngRosePetals profile image

      GlstngRosePetals 5 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      Great Hub. Very funny yet so true. Two thumbs up and a must share. Thank you yet again for some very entertaining reading. Voted up and all the buttons!!

    • stars439 profile image

      stars439 7 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

      Thank you for all the fun thoughts. They were great. GBY.