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The Best Life Quotes-Twenty Funny New Diet Quotes

Updated on January 6, 2011

Funny Diet Quotes

The New Year often means a new diet, and many people have tried all sorts of different diets. The diet industry of course is big business, as many of us try to be watchful with what we eat and drink.See if you can see the funny side of diets!

All Quotes and Quotations

Top Funny Diet Quotes

I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is fourteen days. Totie Fields

No diet will entirely remove the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you can do is run for public office. George Bernard Shaw.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you’re off it. Jackie Gleason.

What's chips minus the C girls.......... Peter Kay.

Liquid diets:the powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.  Art Buchwald.

Nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet. Nora Ephron.

I’m a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don’t eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a Rottweiler chase you home. Billy Connolly.

It looks to me to be obvious that the whole world cannot eat an American diet. Jerry Brown.

I've been on a constant diet now for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts , I should be hanging from a charm bracelet .Erma Bombeck.

No matter what diet you are on , you can usually eat as much as you want of anything you don't like. Walter Slezak.


I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already. Tommy Cooper

To me, an airplane is a great place to diet. Wolfgang Puck.

I've been on this vegetarian diet for three weeks now, and never have my houseplants looked so good. Dan Lybra.

I want to lose 10 pounds, I just don't know weather to start power-walking or smoking. Lisa Goich.

Avoid any diet that discourages the use of hot fudge. Don Kardong.

I'm on a great diet. You drink beer, you get drunk, you pass out, you don't eat for two days. Drew Carey

I'm on two diets at the moment because you simply don't get enough to eat on one.Joe Brand

Never eat more than you can lift. Miss Piggy


I am on a seafood diet I see food and I eat it.
Les Dawson.


I'm on a diet of Viagra and Prune juice.I don't know whether I'm coming or going. Roger Dangerfeild.

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      Larry Moran 6 years ago

      Thanks for the recommendations shared in your blog. Something also important I would like to mention is that losing weight is not information about going on a dietary fad and trying to reduce as much weight as possible in a set period of time. The most effective way to lose weight naturally is by consuming it little by little and using some basic ideas which can provide help to make the most through your attempt to slim down. You may realize and already be following these tips, although reinforcing know-how never hurts.

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