This scenario is about children doing chores. There are those who propose that children need doing chores in order to gain mastery and responsibility. Proponents also proclaim that chores build work ethics in children.
Then there are those who assert that children shouldn't do chores as such distract from childhood which they should enjoy. They may feel that assigning chores to children is a form of child abuse. They feel that chores should be done by parents and/or other adults in the house. Where do you stand on children doing chores?
I don't think it is all that important one way or the other.
As parents repair, paint, wash, fold, cook, sweep, dust, rake, etc. etc., children observe. Children will chip in voluntarily. They like to help. However, if they are forced to work (do chores), they develop a distaste for "work."
Is gardening a chore? When young, I loved keeping our yards clean and beautiful. My brother and I would happily mow, rake and trim front and back yards. My mother took me to gardening lessons and I learned how to grow vegetables. I developed a love for planting and watching the seeds spout and grow.
My kids loved helping me in the garden, watering sprouts carefully with a watering can. I would give them little shovels to work the dirt.
Children watch us and learn by doing what we do.
Is helping with house-work over-burdenbsome? When children are encouraged, (and not forced,) to sort socks, fold T shirts, and organize their rooms, with a parent's help/guidance, life skills are naturally learned and self-sufficiency instilled. Forcing is Taboo.
As a kid, I learned many skills through being given chores and being paid allowance. I remember having a chart and checking off jobs I completed. The reality is, parents need help. The more kids in the family, the more everyone needs to chip in. Kids know this and helping out gives them a sense of responsibility. Life is not easy and many things need to be done. Let them know how they can help and they will.
Spoiled kids get waited on hand and foot. They are given too much freedom and are not expected to pitch in. There is a way to get kids to help willingly, so that they do not feel forced. Survival requires working. Thats the reality. Children need to be introduced to reality when they are young.
And that is the responsibility of parents.
I agree! Working and pulling your fair share ot the weight is part of LIFE, not just family.
Children should be given chores, and be expected to complete them, if they are to get their allowances. You didn't clean your room or take out the trash, or brush your dog? (Whatever is applicable)..then no, you don't get your allowance, or money to go to the show with your friends, however you work it in your family.
Kids who get everything without effort grow up to be spoiled brats with no respect and who expect everything just handed to them. These are the ones who get out of school and expect to get a top-level job instead of an entry-level job.
Responsibility is part of life, and the younger they learn this, the better.
That's not to say I'm in favor of going back to the bad old days of child labor. Of course, kids still need time to just be kids and play and blow off steam. But they also need to be held accountable for certain responsibilities. That's how I was raised, and it's how I raised my kids...even though I had a running battle with my youngest who was always coming up with statements along the lines of "You shouldn't have kids just so they can to your work for you." We didn't--she missed the point, probably on purpose just to push my buttons! LOL
Why did she, (your youngest) have an attitude do you suppose? I remember thinking I had better things to do… I already knew, or felt, that I was destined to become an artist. I should be allowed to continue drawing, and not be required set the table! My mother, wisely, did not allow me to be one of the elite, however.
That was just her! She argued with me about nearly everything, from the time she was in 4th grade!
She was determined that she was going to have the last word, and as the parent, I was equally determined that the last word belonged to me.
It was brutal!
She finally got over it when she moved out to college for a couple of years, and when she got back, she was back to her former, helpful self.
My observation is that children that have never been taught, and have never had, responsibility for work is at a great disadvantage when they hit the work force. It is the single biggest problem - not the lack of skills or knowledge but an unwillingness to take on the responsibility of holding a job.
Making a childs first 18 years nothing but play while Mom and Dad take on all the work not only does the kids a disservice but is a major failing of parenting (or lack or parenting ). Responsibility and duty may be the biggest thing parents can teach their children.
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