Homeschooling a multi-syndrome child
This is something that a good (emphasis on "good") professional should really advise you on; and if you haven't found a professional who seems to have some real guidance then maybe looking for another one would be the way to go. (This post turned out to be extremely long, but I'm posting it anyway; because it's such a serious subject.)
Having said that, and being aware that I'm only stabbing in the dark and don't know your/his situation, the following thoughts occurred to me when I read this thread:
Children with ADHD usually need more structure/guidance in their activities; and I can't help but think a class setting aimed at children with ADHD specifically is better than a "mixed situation", where all the children have different needs. In other words, I would worry that it's too much to expect him to (for lack of more appropriate words) keep himself busy while you're teaching the other children. Also, I wonder if your trying to teach him might be too much for you. There's only so much one person can deal with; and dealing with a child with so many issues could really be expecting too much of you, especially since you're trying to teach other children too.
Since you say you're his step-parent, I'm wondering if you're his step-mother and where is mother is. Even when mothers aren't "the greatest" children are often so attached to their mothers they don't function or behave well if they're separated from them. Whether it's their mother or father, kids who love their parents can start out longing to be with them and then get angry when they can't be. I knew someone who took in foster children, and she was very good to them. Still, there were several who were diagnosed with mental health conditions when, upon closer look and better understanding of the child, one might wonder if the diagnoses were made to hastily.
A child who is brought to a professional by one parent or another (or by someone like a social worker) can't/won't always put into words what it is that's making him act one way or another. They often don't understand it themselves. The well intended adults in the situation often have no idea, so they can't offer the professional anything to go on. As a result, a diagnosis can be made based on the behavior (symptoms), rather than on truly understanding the root of the problem. Children may not know why they behave in a certain way, but they often know that adults don't seem understand their unhappiness. As time goes on, they feel more and more neglected and misunderstood and see no reason to behave well and/or just keep getting angrier and angrier (which can mean acting up/acting out).
I knew one little boy who absolutely showed no signs of any ADD/ADHD until he was separated from his young mother and her mother and had to go live with his young father and his father's parents. He was a calm little boy who was just like most other preschoolers I've ever known. Shortly after the father brought him to live with him the little boy, who had barely known his father and who, naturally, loved his mother and grandmother, was diagnosed with ADHD, put on medication, and put in a program. This all took place within what would have pretty much amount to a "grieving period" after being separated from the only two people he'd been bonded with. None of us can concentrate when we're grieving; but this father thought so little of the mother I don't think he realized that, to her child, losing her was losing someone he treasured and losing, essentially, the only family he knew.
A social worker once told me how common it is for boys to be angry when divorce occurs, and that isn't even considering any other negative factors in a child's life. Divorce aside, if a kid is far more intelligent than he thinks other people think he is that's enough to make him angry and not want to bother pleasing them too.
I guess what I'm saying is I'd hope that someone makes good and sure he has, in fact, been properly and accurately diagnosed; because if he hasn't, and if he's in special ed classes, that could actually contribute to problems. On the other hand, if he's not in special ed classes but needs to be, that could contribute to making the problem worse.
Other than that, and if the diagnosis is really accurate, I think he's too much for you to try to teach; and I think he does need to be in some school where the focus is on such problems. If you were able to devote all your attention to him and learn the methods of teaching a child like this that would be one thing. If you don't have a teacher's aid around to direct him while you're busy with the other children (the way they usually do in schools) I don't think that arrangement is great for either you or your step-son. ADHD and Asperger's aside, a child who truly has ODD needs really capable, expert, help. Sincerest best wishes that you can work something out. It seems like you've "inherited" quite the challenge.
16 is a difficult age even if a kid doesn't have all those psychiatric diagnoses. It just does seem a lot for any one individual to try to take on.
With a child who had "mysterious learning problems" (probably from something in his prenatal/early infancy environment because he was adopted from infancy), I know the feeling of not thinking the professionals seem to have the right answers. With my son it was pretty much a matter of muddling from one professional to another until he was finally out of high school. His learning problem was only said to be a visual-perceptual one in the early grades (which caused him to lose ground), but in the later grades he wasn't really concentrating either.
Still, even though what some professionals said didn't seem correct to me (based on the fact that I saw him do things they said he couldn't, for example); I still knew, with all the years of trying to figure out how I could help him, it wasn't something I could deal with alone. I had tried (not alone, because he went to school; but at home). There was one bright side to my not being able to help him with his school issues, though; and that was that I was able to remain someone who could be "support" separate from school. He'd go to school and feel frazzled and otherwise bad each day, but he always got to come home to someone who wasn't introducing those academic challenges into the relationship. It made for a "rest from it all", I think.
Looking back on all those years when I was wishing I could do more for him as far as his school performance went, I now think it was good that home, for him, was restful and "away from the struggles". I think that helped keep him from straying away too far from family once he got to be a teen. I wonder if he were being taught at home whether he would have seen home as "yet one more uncomfortable place" and turned outside for "a mental rest" or "support". Just some thoughts. Hope you can work out something that works for you and your step-son.
- 15
Do you think schools do enough for children with ADHD and other learning disabil
Do you think schools do enough for children with ADHD and other learning disabilities?
- 7
What is up with schools pushing meds for children with ADHD like candy?
What is up with schools pushing meds for children with ADHD like candy?I have a son with ADHD and the child study team from day one wanted him on meds which I knew he needed to be on. But it was a fight when they wanted...
- 105
About to start homeschooling my teenager - tips anyone?
I�m about to start homeschooling my 13 year old daughter. Any tips would be most welcomed, and feel free to point me towards your articles that you think might be relevant. Thanks.xxx
- 17
Is Compulsory Schooling Unconstitutional?
I personally feel that to require children to go to school against their wishes or the wishes of their parents, under penalty of going to jail or losing their children, is involuntary servitude, which is prohibited by...
- 14
Should homeschooling replace public education?
Should homeschooling replace public education?
- 29
when he threatens to leave
i have been married for 2 years and i have 5 children ages 22,21,20,and 11 year old twins, one of my twins has downsyndrome. i have 2 grandchildren as well. 4 years ago i met my husband and was thrilled that...