Oh this is a good question Laila. The first thing I try to do is put myself in the other person's shoes. I try and look at things from their perspective. If that doesn't work, I use the old "count to ten" strategy before I speak. Sometimes though, I should probably walk away and not speak at all. LOL!
NOBODY can do this very well. There are some people, who can bring the worst out of you and it depends on THEM, how the anger is controlled. For example: With a boss, who gets you ticked off, you can be more controlled with, than with a partner/spouse who should KNOW you better. A child gets different reaction than an adult.
I my case it really helps to have a relationship with God, because He has much better "venison/beef/clout" than I do. The way I overcame my anger problem is that I focus on my day's events BEFORE my day starts in a quiet time with God and allow HIM to guide me through the day. However that doesn't prevent being "blindsided" by my husband of 32 years. Sometime, I can "feel" anger rising slowly and than I walk away, contemplate that the other person has feelings and everything is very temporary in this life. However, since self control is not my friend, anger comes on quickly and the reaction time is short. If you have a real bad anger problem you should get yourself an accountability partner, who figures out what makes your blood boil, and what are the early warning symptoms by observation. Evaluating all that, is why I was able to keep my lid on. You also have to realize, if you do not "vent" it is also not good for your health. In God's universe there is this law: For every action there is a reaction. Some anger is very called for, because it can motivate us to do better in life. So it all depends, what your relationships are like and how balanced your inner self is. I hope this helps. If I can help you in any way, you can send me an e-mail. For now I will pray for your victory.
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