Why do some of us have extreme angst if we are not accepted by the majority of people?
Good question, but the answers are many and varied. I would guess the most relevant reasons would be:
>that acceptance by others validates ones need to overcome feelings of low esteem.
>being brought up in a familial situation that always looks at the negative side of things makes positive feedback a major goal in life.
>being told as a child you are ugly, stupid and unworthy
>but the most popular is being told that people in general are sinful, evil, and especially the notion that thoughts are as sinful as deeds (religious teachings).
Popularity suggests higher self worth, so excelling in sports, school, or ones career also validates that self worth, and acceptance fulfills this craving that many people have in life.
They want to fit in, to be appreciated for who they are. People want to be loved, sometimes by more people than others. The more the merrier. They will almost do anything for attention, for adoration, for followers. It is a personality factor that some people have and some people don't.
We are desperate when the majority of the people forsake us.That desperation leads to extreme anger, whether we are right or wrong.
The lack of selfesteem, I think, once we realize that we don't need the majority consent to feel, to think and to express ourselves the way it is the best, we really start to live our lives, not someone's elses:) It needs courage but it is worth it:)
Honestly, I feel like most people have something against themselves. Generally speaking no one feels perfect and they hate something small and minute about themselves. So it would be natural to want to be accepted, because that would help you feel as if those "imperfections" aren't so bad. Of course usually they feelings aren't mutual with other people, but overall we want to try and be perfect.
There is also and evolutionary reason for this behavior. The need to be accepted by society actually stems from our times spent "pre-discovery of fire". Back during the beginning of human's time on earth, being accepted by your group was necessary for your survival. If you were not accepted by others, you were left to fend for yourself, which often meant solitude and death.
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