Why do we care so much about what others think of us?
What we say, what is said about us, what we wear, what we eat... There are so many campaigns with the slogan to just "be yourself", and yet, we still seem to get trapped in this cycle of constantly worrying about what other people think of us. Thoughts?
Because it's our nature. We want to belong and feel a part of the group. We want to be liked and accepted and many of us need constant assurance that we are wanted and liked. Some rise above this "nature" but most of us never do. We will always need some kind of reinforcement to validate our feelings and insecurities.
Caring about what others say is basic for human beings. However, how we handle that is rooted in our identity. If our identity is based on people's opinions, social status, career, physical looks etc, then we will always have problems trying to meet the demands of these changing values. We cannot please people enough.
An unshakeable and solid identity will not care much about what others say because it is rooted in truth. You are not what others say or think . . . but what God says. And that is the truth.
Thanks. I hope this helps.
Only a weak minded person would care for even a second, what any other person would think or say about them.
Great question, most of our time spend thinking about it- what others will say, how will they react etc. etc. Actually we use to doubt ourselves and we are not confident as much as to believe ourselves. This is one of the reason why we think what others will say?
i think because mmm we don't want to be misunderstood by other people..cos it is unfair to anyone to be mistaken for something they are not..and we humans are image concious specially if we protecting our reputation as a person..if our reputation matters to us...do we say what they say don't matter ,we are just humans..it will get into our nerves,but it is the way we handle things or if we feel bitter about what they say or just cool about it..so depends on what kind of person you are if you let words of people who don't matter to you get into your nerves or not..just don't mind it anyways..cos mostly humans says something bad to other people to make their selves feel better..do they are not ok..it is a projection kind of things..passing their undesirable characteristics to other people...your way better than them so nevermind:)
As much as we talk about celebrating being "individuals" no one wants to be the guy with 3 eyes! It's human nature to want to fit in, be liked/loved, or admired. Very few of us welcome harsh critisim. School age kids learn early on that life is better when the majority of people like you. To be human is to desire to be loved and "accepted".
What seperates us is the number of people we need to like/love us in order to feel good about ourselves. (Everyone cares about what some particular person or persons thinks about them.) Naturally the smaller that group of people is the more likely you are to think in terms of what suits you rather than what others might think.
I think it provides us with a truer reflection of who we are and how we are conducting ourselves (at least in terms of whether we are conforming to societal norms) versus how we view ourselves. Sometimes it might take an outside perspective to recognize our behavior and if it may need to change.
Cause that is the way many need to be validated also makes some feel as though they belong, when in all honesty........Ugh
I have a question, when did everyone feel the need to refer to themselves as "being human" every other minute, like that's not obvious.
In regards to what dashing scorpio has written, why is it that people can't handle harsh criticism?
Most people want to be loved and accepted by everyone - so it matters to them what others think.
I think its because humans are social animals. We need interaction with others no matter how subtle. If we do not measure up to a certain group we wish to be part of, its a type of rejection. It may be brushed off but deep down inside the individual feels let down or even inadequate. On the other hand if we meet their expectations and are accepted by the other person or group, that is validation to the psyche. So you might say that is the basis for the reason we feel its important to be liked by others or even thought highly of by them.
It's been very interesting to read your comments, thanks for the insight. Just picking up on something dashingscorpio said - It is certainly hard for a lot of people to take criticism. Either, criticism is going to make you feel bad about yourself, you can simply just brush it off, or perhaps, if it is constructive or there seems to be some truth in it, it could be a chance for you to reflect upon yourself. Until we truly learn to be confident in ourselves no matter what I don't think any of these options are easy ones to take. I also love what Eunice touched on - we can't, and never will, please everyone. That is something we need to be drilling into ourselves, especially in our darkest of days!
I think it definitely is an age thing. The older I get (I'm 34), the less I care what anyone thinks of me. A lot of it is marketing and corporate psychology. Don't listen to it and you'll have a weight lifted.
Get rid of ego, and it will never matter what anyone else says about you.
Only with ego are you "vulnerable" or "victim."
by Sarah 8 years ago
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