What are the psychological reasons behind an inability to apologize?

1. 83

   KatyWhoWaitedposted 12 years ago

   What are the psychological reasons behind an inability to apologize?
   
   Whether you're a husband or wife who left your family, a worker who may not have acted ethically, or a citizen who does not support an apology by your country, what is the reason that saying we're sorry seems difficult for most of us?

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2. 0

   msorenssonposted 12 years ago

   Perhaps in their minds, they have already apologized and just does not verbalize it.  I realized this is possible since, I was looking for something last night and I realized I had not answered a kind of important email, for two weeks...I apologized profusely but two weeks to answer a business communication is not cool at all...
   
   In my mind I had already answered...
   
   It is just a thought.  I do not know the real answer.

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3. 82

   A_Kposted 12 years ago

   Ego, sense of shame, humiliation, .... in the end it is 'ego' but in some exceptional cases it is the genuine feeling that 'why should I apologize when I haven't done any thing wrong'. I think the question you raised can be of academic interest and a wonderful topic of research. There could be cultural factors as well. Asking for apology in some cultures can mean such an extreme sense of humiliation almost to the level of banishment from society. In feudal societies death would be preferable to humiliation. On the other hand, asking for apology is an acknowledgement of having done something wrong and it is probably the easiest thing to do because you feel having ethically done something right to the person you wronged. This kind of thing would be more visible in modern equalitarian societies. I think human behavior and way of thinking is largely an outcome of social interaction or the kind of society an individual inhabits.

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4. 82

   Dr Billy Kiddposted 12 years ago

   Generally a person simply has never been taught to apologize.Therefore, he or she does not know the immediate benefits from apologizing.
   
   I follow history. Countries generally don't apologiize until 50 years later, if at all. I don't recall anyone in the U.S. apologizing for anything.

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5. 67

   A Perfect Chefposted 12 years ago

   The act of apologizing is an admission of guilt.  Depending on the circumstance, many people do not want to take responsibility for their actions.  Ego most likely plays a large role in this.  If a person does not say they are sorry for their actions, they have no reason to feel guilty.  Many people would rather place the blame on others rather than being responsible for their behaviors.  Also, if they are right in their own mind, it may make them feel superior to others in some way.

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6. 0

   VeronicaInspiresposted 12 years ago

   Pride, stubbornness, pettiness, wanting the other person to do it, not understanding their role as part of the problem, not seeing or understanding what they did wrong, and not seeing the act as something warranting an apology.

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