Do you apologise to people, even if you are NOT in the wrong – just for peace sake?
I do sometimes, to avoid any stress but I don’t want people thinking I’m a soft touch.
Yes, Lady_E, for many years. I hate confrontations. Confusion and being yelled at. But that was when I was younger. Today, I am more assertive and daring. I will NOT agree with a lie just to keep down trouble. But one word of advice I can lend: NEVER ARGUE IN PUBLIC. YOU TARNISH YOUR IMAGE. But in your own home, STAND YOUR GROUND. This was a nice question.
My answer to this would be:
"If I have offended you, let me apologize; if I have done no wrong, allow me to defend myself."
I sometimes do it to make peace but it depends on how genuine the other person is towards realising that though the fault is his, I took the lead in making peace.
I am a compulsive apologizer. Some stranger could say, "I've just gained 10 lbs. over this holiday season," and I will say I'm sorry. I think it's because I grew up with a family member who constantly blamed me for everything, so even now, I feel like everything is my fault. It's actually mildly annoying to me.
I've done it a few times and every time it's never fixed anything. The "friend" will still find another reason to be angry or hate me and I just end up having to move on.
I do. It's often better to just get the argument over and have there be peace. I don't like to lose arguments, but if it keeps the peace I will often apologize and admit defeat.
I'll do a fake apology that tends to work well by saying, "I'm sorry you're upset about XYZ...I really don't want you to be angry about ABC. Let's go get a coffee and talk about things."
Usually, the conversation works through the issues and the fake apology opens the door to the conversation.
Yes..if only for the fact that I got mad at the person..
There is a very intimate connection between humility, compassion, generosity, charity and love...
Perfected love would encompass everything not simply for one person but for all..the good, the bad, the ugly, the privileged, the not so privileged....
Perfected love is an ideal and quite simply, very challenging to achieve.
I am not too proud to ask for forgiveness. or to beg..for anything..for that matter.
No , I am too stubborn to do that. it goes beyond all my believes.. I have a strong back bone(
At all the times? NO. Not really. But sometimes when the scenario can afford no other alternative then I do.
Like when I am completely sure that any allegation on me is a complete bullshit then most of the times I revolt. But usually it happens that when some allegation is put on us, we certainly do have some kind of involvement in the case...may be not wholly but subtly.
So in that case sometimes apologizing is better than quarreling, because some people are born advocates and can confuse you to confess quite wrong allegations.
But still this doesn't mean that anyone is helpless. Last minute decisions, whether to apologize or not, are always ours!
You gotta' be kidding! Manly Men never apologize right or wrong!
Yes I do, but it doesn't always work as some people are selfish and full of themselves. I know this answer won't be very popular, but hey that's the way it is. I have done that countless times when people have said "I was offended". Even when I know that there was no intention of offending the next person and the other person was in the wrong in the first place.
This happened to me by a friend I hanged out with for like 16 years. She threw something in my face ( a family matter) She said she would not apologize and that's the end of that. Despite I was sad, God brought me something better two days later.
Hi Cardisa, I know all to well what you mean. I had a dilemma like this a few weeks ago. The person actually went off on me about something I said. Just because she was having a bad day. She wants me to feel bad, but I don't . I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE
Lady_E: Definitely NO! If I am right, then I am right. To apologise or say sorry would be a "Lie", and would be insincere.
I tend to say... 'Im sorry if you feel that way'. Quite often all they hear is 'im sorry' - lol. So, yes... I apologise to people - it keeps the peace.
Yes, I do sometimes, just to let peace reign. I figure there's no point arguing with someone who sees things only one way and being generally unreasonable. On the other hand I do apologize if I am genuinely wrong, but people sometimes take your apology for weakness and want to take you for granted. Under that situation, I put my feet down.
I'm very careful not to offend,but if I'm forced to I will do what I have to do. No need for apology.
Apologizing would depend on the situation,if I'm not in the wrong,it's not happening,and I probably wouldn't except the apology wholeheartedly,because more often than not,they repeat the offense.
I'm at peace with me,I stick with the truth at all times.
Can't go wrong with that.
Great question Lady_E
my friend refused to apologize so that means the truth did not set her free and she must be spiritually miserable. God punishes those who hurt others and play it off egotisticly that they don't have to when the other has mentioned they were hurt
I am sorry if you don't like my answer, LOL, but I regularly apologize. I find this keeps people focused on my intentions. I don't like causing any hurt or misunderstanding, so I will apologize that they were hurt.
I don't think that is fake at all. I also don't think that means that I accept the blame for the hurt. Then once they realize my intention was not to cause them pain, then I can explain further what my intention truly was.
I think that in most situations, all of the parties involved have a share in the blame, and by accepting my share, sometimes it helps others accept their share.
Well, I would not directly apologize, for I am not in the wrong. However, to simmer the conflict down a level, I would create a positive response to the person's anger, in which I would create a pseudo-apologetic statement to calm and eventual silence the argument.
-The Golden Mediator, Pikachusif
Depending on what is the problem and if by doing so can help to avert further disaster, I would do so.
Certain times, it has nothing to do with who is right or wrong. By giving in and allowing everyone to cool off will be the best solution.
I would be the one to let go and be peaceful about it.
i have done that. i avoid confrontation any time i can. so if me apologizing for something that i don't think was really my fault will bring peace and harmony, then i feel it is worth it in the long run.
it does not diminish me at all.
however, if it is an issue that i consider very serious in nature and is about an issue that is a challenge to something i hold dear, then, no, i won't apologize. i can make amends but not apologize in that situation.
NO, no, no, no, no. When you're not wrong there is no need to apologize. I just keep it moving. It's the best remedy for me.
It's hard to give a "one-size-fits-all" answer for this one. I would probably say I would, but not for saying "I was wrong for what I said to you." It would be because I would feel bad for hurting the other person's feelings. There were times I had people get in my face over nothing and I had to tell them off for it, but I would at the least say that I'm sorry for making them feel lousy for it.
No. I tend to be honest with people. I hold back on saying anything rather than saying something I don't mean or really believe. I don't make promises I can't or don't want to keep either. If someone pushes me I just tell them I'm not going to make a promise I don't or won't keep. You should do the same about apologizing. Don't get pressured into it.
I would apologies if we both are not wrong but only having different perspective and the other person get hurt. I would then try to explain the things in polite way.
I'll apologise that we are arguing and offer to talk. I won't concede my view is wrong, but I will listen to the other person's ideas.
I tend to say... 'Im sorry if you feel that way'. Quite often all they hear is 'im sorry' - lol. So, yes... I apologise to people - it keeps the peace.
If I am right, instead of apologizing, I will try to escape from that matter without harming the opposition and my self.
No, I wouldn't apologize to another if they're clearly in the wrong. To apologize for the sake of peace, clearly you should know that your not truly going to have any peace. The thought alone is constantly repeating itself over and over in your mind as too why you apologized for something you weren't guilty of plainly for peace sake, and then you'll have no peace in your own thoughts.
Absolutely yes. It opens door for love. The wisdom leads approach.
God loved us long time before we responded to Him.
Yeah. I do it a many times because I can't hurt I love or respect. Even I am a bit a stub born but I convince myself thinking that I am obliged to teach or preach everyone here. Let them live with their beliefs and I will live with my own. And if at some point they collide with each other, I prefer taking the other way. PEACE....
Unfortunately, I do apologize (sorry for correcting your spelling - hehehe) too much and catch myself saying sorry for people feeling bad or sad, etc. I am trying harder to stick up for myself, but don't like to ruffle feathers. Sometimes people start to step all over you when you are too passive or apologetic.
Only problem was with me, my friend was too up there if u know what I mean. Too stubborn to accept she hurt me. Then when I tried to forgive her but didn't want to have her friendship and told her about God, she and her husband thought I was crazy.
I think it depends on the situation if it is family then I don't because they would not do they same to me if they were in the right and I was wrong . If I was at somebody elses house then yes I would say sorry because that is not the time or place for things like that to happen.
I really don't believe i would apologise if i had done nothing wrong, but i wouldn't argue the point..
my wife and I had an agreement that everytime we'll have a heated argument, we'll say sorry to one another afterwards. If we had it in the morning, when I think I already got myself cooled down, I often initiate the apologizing, and she'd be happy to apologize in return.
Then, like kids, we're back to normal again.
I don't always do it. While apologizing might keep the peace, it makes it easier for you to become a pushover. People can be really mean and if you don't stand up for yourself from time to time they will walk all over you and enjoy every second of it.
If I had hurt the other person's feelings unintentionally, I will apologize.
If I don't want to apologize and want to keep the peace, I'll just point out our difference in opinions and suggest we get on with our lives.
If there's an issue in the air with somebody and that you're not in the wrong issue-technically spoken (..or even in general ..), there's then no reason to present apologies and for the sake of peace, there are surely other ways available one can use to bring into balance what needs to be balanced rather than making cheap apologies that are maybe more an excuse to not face the actual true depth of the issue/situation that can be discussed without hassle, anger or what ever keeps the situation or relation unbalanced. Plus ... that's even a form of lie to oneself ... don't see what it's good for as it doesn't solve anything at all.
This being said, If you're not sure about if you're in the wrong or not ... then it probably doesn't hurt when you do apologize or tell that you're sorry if you've eventually hurt someone unknowingly ...
My point is that apologies should be used by being conscious of what you did or didn't & not by what I would call a "Automatic Push-Button Mea Culpa Modus"
I do the same thing, just to not have to argue any longer. It rarely works though.
I'll say "yes" to that when it is family and you want them to STFU. If it is a friend, heck no. If it is a stranger, depends if they could help me later in life.
yes, so i do not start a fight with the other person.
usually i just say it because i dont know what else to say...
I mostly apologise to my family just to avoid the issues that can lead to any cold war...
I think it's okay to apoligize for the person feeling offended, if you're sorry about it. Sometimes, we try to help and it's taking the wrong way, so you may be sorry about that. But that doesn't mean that you have to apoligize for the sake of apoligizing. I won't apoligize if I don't mean it. I don't think anyone should do that, 'cause that's kind of like lying. So go with your gut, and apoligize for what you really mean.
I just do it automatically. It's something I need to work on. Once I even apologized when leaving the restroom and saw that there was someone waiting. Why did I apologize? I didn't take too long and the paint wasn't peeling off the walls! I do it too much!
Of course yes! Apologizing does not make you less of a man! It will show your true upbringing! Saying sorry is dinky compare to the trouble a scuffle brings to you! No amount of money can compensate in a trouble-free world! Be a lover not a fighter!
This world is full of evil and that is why not too many like to apologize they think it will lower them, but they will pay the price, They will lose your friendship &if they still have anger or jealousy, God will take care of them. BELIEVE ME !!
I used to apologize every time when I was either right or wrong. I was very compulsive when it came to it; it DID helped avoid stress, but I felt defeated because I didn't shut their arrogance with the truth (when I was right). This is still something I struggle day after day. But, one thing I've learned over time: It's perfectly all right to apologize for peace's sake, but we have to be careful if we allow ourselves to do so EVERY time (I know the feeling). We have to fight for our victory sometime! Whatever that means.
I am not sorry I sad I was sorry. Apologies are a good tool, but often times pride and personal feelings can not be trumped in the hustle and bustle of conflict. Think about its diplomatic benefit. read more
I do not apologize if I'm not in the wrong -- just for peace sake. I have to live with myself long after the person I erroneously apologized to has go on with their lives. It's more important for me to feel peaceful inside, instead of stowing that peace on someone else by way of an unwarranted apology.
I am a soft touch and I do apologize and I have come to terms with it. Often it calms the other person down and sometimes it opens up communication. There is a time for everything. There are also many different personalities and many ways to deal with conflict no matter how minor and how major. If something doesn't mean that much to you then why not apologize. Now if you have to grovel or demean yourself in any way, then it may be time to stand up for you. Besides there are two sides to every story. You can't always know what is going on in the other person's head. Peace is an awesome thing to aspire to.
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